Section 5: Theobroma Days

Ngh...

I haven't had the motivation to do anything since those monsters attacked...

I'd love to try some of that xocolatl stuff for myself...

Hehe.

Excuse me, everyone. I couldn't help but notice how exhausted you all seem.

Here, have a drink of this. You'll feel much better.

Hm? What is this stuff?

Oh!

Wow!!!

WOAH!!!!!!

I feel GREAT!

It's so delectably sweet!

It's not just sweet. Check out that amazing aroma!

I've got even more energy now than when I was attacked! What IS this stuff!?

It's called xocolatl. It's a very common drink. You can find it just about anywhere.

Oh, wait, that's not right. It won't become common for a while yet.

Th-THIS is xocolatl!?

It's the most amazing drink I've ever had!

This lady must be a goddess to come up with something like this!

So kind, so beautiful... I think I'm in love.

Hehe. I didn't think I was being exceptionally charitable.

Was I?

Knock it ooooooff!!!

Ow! What was that for!?

Who do you think you are, acting all cute with MY face!?

For that matter, why are you even a goddess!? Manannan's supposed to be a man!

Don't say that. I only want to help people in need...

Besides, I'm well-known for my generosity.

And you need to put on a bit of a show to provide truly heartfelt hospitality.

Can't you just give them gifts like a normal person!?

？！

Oh, that?

I actually first came here in search of the world's greatest chocolate.

But when I arrived, I was shocked to learn that not only was chocolate not readily available in this era...

...almost nobody here had even heard of cacao beans!

？！

So I had a thought.

If chocolate isn't available here, I can just make it myself.

And what I ended up with...

...is an endless well of chocolate, all in a pot.

？！

Right?

And I didn't just tweak it to be more like modern-day chocolate to make it easier to drink, either.

Thanks to my sea god powers, it's also guaranteed to relieve exhaustion .

So it was perfect for people who had been weakened by those monster attacks.

I suppose I could have given them an immortal swine that provides unlimited meat instead, but honestly, the idea squicks even me out.

Pork, chocolate, ale...the most important thing about food is its nutritional value.

Still...

If it makes them happy, then it's even better.

So this is what you've been doing since you got here? Going around from town to town handing out chocolate?

Oh, no, not me... I had my hands full just searching for the Theobroma trees.

Fortunately, I found a kindhearted chocolate fairy who was willing to distribute it for me.

？！

That's right. I'm guessing he's native to this land. He popped up seemingly out of nowhere just when I was wondering what to do and said,

"Wow, what a beauty! Somethin' wrong? Can I help ya out?"

Wasn't that sweet of him? But then, I guess it only makes sense, since he's a chocolate fairy and all.

I see. I still haven't met this fairy person myself...

So where is he now?

He said my search for the Theobroma was inefficient, and offered to take over for me.

So now I've taken over giving out chocolate, and he's off looking for the main Theobroma tree.

I just hope he comes back with a helpful lead soon.

Oh yes, I hope he does, too.

？！

(Shaking head)

I'm sorry, Master. We didn't have any luck.

There aren't any other forests around here that could hide a large tree, and I didn't see any signs of danger outside, but...

...even now, those monsters continue to show up in town and steal people's motivation.

I wish I knew what was going on.

The monsters always seem to have disappeared by the time we arrive.

So, we haven't been able to track them back to their lair.

For the time being, I think all we can do is increase our patrols around town.

... ...

Ugh, this is so frustrating.

We can't tell what the enemy is thinking, and there doesn't seem to be anything we can do to stop them...

All we can do is wait for some helpful information to come in... Maybe we should just chop down the whole forest and hope we get lucky.

No, Bazett. That kind of shortsighted destruction won't do us any good.

If you're going to charge at the enemy like a wild boar, let's at least wait until we know where to aim.

Huh? Did you just call me a boar?

We're just as frustrated as you are.

But times like these are exactly when we need to conduct ourselves with elegance.

Besides...

With this many Divine Spirits working together, there's no problem we can't solve eventually.

Right now, we just have to be patient until an opportunity presents itself. Isn't that right, Master?

？！

There, you see? Now that's how you keep a level head.

I see. You Chaldeans really are good at working together, aren't you?

Oh? Does that mean you're ready to be summoned there, too?

Especially now that you know that Cú Chulainn, the warrior among warriors, is there as well.

Wha...!?

N-n-no, I'm not. Besides, it's nothing like what you're thinking.

Then what IS it like?

Well, uh...

He's a great hero I've admired ever since I was a child, and a partner I can trust with my life!

... ...

At least, I think so... I'm not really sure.

I wish I could explain it better...

Hmm, I see.

Those do sound like quite complicated feelings.

... ...

Hm?

Urk!

Ba... Bazett!?

A-are we under attack!? No, wait. Hang on...

...A suction cup arrow???

？！

Oh look, there's something attached to the shaft. I think it's a letter.

It must be a message from C.F.

"C.F."?

I don't know why he didn't just come here himself. That would've been much faster. Anyway, let's see... He even wrote it vertically!?

Get...

...away...

...from...

...town?

？！

An earthquake? ...Oh no. Don't tell me...!

Look out!!!

Something's coming up from beneath the ground!

From underground!?

The Theobroma tree! I can't believe it's literally been under our noses this whole time!

This is ridiculous! Whoever heard of a tree growing out of the ground!?

... ...

No, wait. I mean...of course trees grow from the ground, but

Calm down, Astraea. It's okay. We know what you meant.

Yes, trees grow from the ground, but no, they don't really do it quite so quickly. It must be the Holy Grail.

Oh no. Look!

Aaah! It's those monsters!

Don't go near them! Come on, let's run for it!

But where!? We've got nowhere to go!

Those monsters just won't stop! The townspeople are in danger!

Then it looks like this...

...is my time to shine.

Don't worry about the townspeople. I'll make sure they evacuate. You just worry about the rest, Bazett.

I knew we could count on the god of love! Thanks, Amor!

？！

Got it, Fujimaru! If we're going to keep the damage to the town to a minimum...

...we'd better not waste any time!

...! ...!!!

Ngh... Are the townspeople okay!?

Yes, they're fine! They've all been evacuated!

Stay alert! This isn't over yet!

...Huh?

？！

No, look! They're made of the same matter as the Theobroma monsters!

But, this power... It's the same as Astraea's...

Does this mean the Holy Grail took the magical energy and motivation these monsters stole from me, as well as information about me from the Throne...

...and used it to make copies of me?

Those little...! How dare they blaspheme against a goddess like this!?

...Huh?

Please be careful, everyone! I'm sensing another being here along with the copies.

Caaacacaca!

Hup!

Foolish humans...

Resistance is futile!

... ...

Huh? Hang on...

Are you guys all Servants?

Okay then, let me try that again...

Foolish Servants who have thrown in their lot with humans!

Resistance is futile!

From this day forth, this land belongs to the Theobromans!

？！

Huh? "Jaguar"? The name echoes elegantly in my ears, but unfortunately, it's not my name!

We are Theobromans, bearers of divine fruit who have journeyed across distant seas!

And I'm basically the Theobroma tree's remote terminal! Pleased to meet you!

If you must call me by a name, then you may call me... I know! Theobroman!

Guh, what a weirdly tricky name to pronounce!

And yet, it's strange... I feel an odd sense of nostalgia around it!

And meow that I got you to drop your guard...

Have a sucker Great Cacao Claw! Rock, paper, scissors, die!

Fujimaru!?

？！

？！

Fujimaru, Bazett... Don't let this creature fool you.

It's not like the monsters we've faced so far.

I suspect it's a kind of imitation Servant the tree made with the Holy Grail's power.

It's probably based on some Divine Spirit with a connection to the land Theobroma originally came from.

It may look harmlessly goofy, but I sense horrific power within!

Aw man.

Guess I should've known Manannan mac Lir wouldn't be fooled by this adorable getup.

And here I thought I could bring a quick end to this by decapitating the Master there.

Welp, there goes that plan! Teehee, whoopsies!

Ah well, it looks like it doesn't matter, anyway.

I don't need to resort to catty tricks to beat the likes of you.

Khh... Bastard!

What do you want!? What are you planning on doing with the Holy Grail!?

Theobroma...

The Holy Grail's magical energy has already caused a rapid evolution in you.

You shouldn't need any more nutrients to help you grow. So why attack people at all?

Cacacacao! Do you even have to ask!?

For too long, we plants have been persecuted by humans.

It's our turn meow!

Well, that's quite a twist.

What do you mean, persecuted? What exactly have humans ever done to you?

... ...

I saw it all.

I was there when the seed my tree sprouted from was brought far, far from home to this strange place...

Things were okay back when that sailor was taking care of us.

Even if he was just growing us to get rich, I still felt genuine love when he watered me.

？！

But, one day, the sailor stopped showing up! He abandoned us!

By the time he came back, I'd already withered!

Enduring the harsh environment of a foreign land...cut off from my fellow plants...

Missing all of great nature's login bonuses as a result of the lack of connectivity... Endless solitude, and ultimately, death.

Cocoan you people even imagine the hell I went through!?

That...does sound hard...

I'll admit, I can't help but feel a little sorry for you.

Yeah...

Being betrayed by someone you trust is a horrible way to die.

So there you go.

That cruel, uncaring twist of fate meant we were never able to live like trees do, growing tall and bearing fruit.

All we could do was wait to die beneath the cold earth.

Even though we were thought dead, we managed to cling to life in secret!

The only things we had keeping us going were our wish for survival...

...and our desire for revenge on all of humanityyy!!!

？！

I see...

That's when I happened across you...Holy Grail in tow.

Oh, yeah. That was a big help.

Just look how big and strong it helped me grow!

Hmm. Maybe I grew a little too meowch?

Ah well. I still need to expand my forces, anyway.

And with the Holy Grail, our world domination is all but assured.

I'm going to cover all the world with true cacao trees and turn it into our pawadise on Earth!

Cacacaca!! Caaacacaca...o?

... ...

Huh? I thought you'd have a stronger reaction than that.

It honestly sound like a bit of a stretch...

Agreed. A good dramatic twist is one thing, but that was just absurd.

It's like we were watching a melodrama that suddenly morphed into psychological horror...

Ghhh... Everyone's a critic...

Theobromans... Visitors from across the sea.

I sympathize with the suffering you've experienced at human hands. I really do.

That's why I extended a hand to help you.

But what you saw isn't representative of all that humans are.

As long as there are humans who love nature, and do their best to coexist with it peacefully...

...I, Manannan mac Lir, will continue to do everything in my power to protect them.

Oh... Yeah. I guess you do have a point.

But it's too late! Any hope we had at coexistence is long gone!

If you guardians of humanity want to keep this world safe...

...then you'll have to cut down every last one of us!

Go nuts, guys!

It's going to be a fight, then! And it looks like they've got numbers on us in a big way!

And if that wasn't bad enough, our enemies are cheat Spirit Origins that copied our power.

I don't know how far we'll be able to go against monsters like this...

Don't be ridiculous, Bazett.

This is the part where you're supposed to say, "So they've got us outnumbered? Good, that makes it a fair fight!"

Astraea...

I know I certainly won't be satisfied until I've taken care of those pale imitations of me with my own two hands.

As for you two... Hmm... Would you mind taking care of that animal?

Astraea... You're not planning on taking those monsters on by yourself, right?

Because I have every intention of fighting them by your side.

Of course not. I was counting on your help right from the start, Medusa.

All right, Bazett, it seems we have a job of our own. Shall we get going?

We must defeat the Theobroman, no matter what it takes. Are you ready?

Of course!

Just make sure you don't get in my way, Manannan mac Lir!

Oh my... Aren't you just brimming with confidence?

？！

Fujimaru. Once we've defeated that thing, and this Singularity is repaired...

...my bodyguard job will officially be over.

But I don't plan on staying unemployed long!

Once I'm done here, I plan on taking a job at Chaldea next. Sound good?

All right, envoy of nature! Let's settle this once and for all!

Cacaaa! Cacacaca! You can't get rid of me that easily!

It's jumping from branch to branch! Ugh, it's like fighting a damn monkey!

I do have to admit...the situation is far from purrfect.

So I think I'll try my luck again later!

As long as I've got the Holy Grail, I can put down roots anywhere, anytime!

Cacacaca! Farewell! Until we meet aga

Huh?

... ...

Gaaah!

Who threw that Ngbaka Mabo at my back!?

Heeheehee, sorry about that.

I get the whole revenge thing. Really, I do. But I think you've taken this far enough, tiger lady.

I'd say you've even gone overboard. Not heard the gossip among the other plants lately? Brutal stuff.

"Sure, it's fine to fight back when you're attacked, but disrupting the ecosystem is a bit much, right?"

Whatcha think?

A-aaargh! Curse you, you opportunistic floraaa!

Hey, what'd you expect? They're plants. If they didn't jump at sunny opportunities, they'd never get to photosynthesize.

What's that got to do with anything!?

Dammit... Dammit! All right. Now that it's come to this...

...I'll just take all the magical energy I've stored up in this bodacious body and use it to blow myself up!

Raaah! Shine bright, my sunshine! Keep that sweet motivation coming!

!!! Now, Bazett!

Don't have to tell me!

It's time to get you back to nature! Great Cacao Claw...

Explosion!!!

Heed my call... Answerer!!!

Sword of Reverse Light... Fraga...!

Rach!!!

Ghh... Gaaaaaah!!! Great! Now I really am gonna die!

B-but remember this, humans... Even if you defeat me, there'll be a second me! And a third!

A-and, make sure you don't overwater your plants! It gives them terrible root rot!

Hrrk.

Oh my...

Is...that it? That was anticlimactic.

Hehe... Way to pass judgment on them, Lady Justice.

And it seems those two came through, too.

Hey, look. The last Theobroma tree is collapsing...

It's over... At long last, this minute Singularity will go away...

...!

Wait! You there!

Hm? Me?

Oh, yup, good work. Nice job all around.

I-I see. Thank you. We couldn't have done it without your help.

But, um...who exactly are you?

You're standing right in front of me, but I can't really make your face out all that well.

Well yeah, of course you can't. That's usually how it goes when you don't know someone.

Anyway, I'm no one of consequence. It's better if we say goodbye without you learning about me.

But...you saved us. And not just once, but many, many times...

I mean, I can't remember it clearly...but I really feel like it's true.

Bah, that's a stretch. Once...maaaybe twice, tops.

And it's really not a big deal. The most I did was give you a little nudge. Even this was just me pitching in on a whim.

Just a reflex, yeah? I mean, who wouldn't help a drowning kid, y'know?

...I...

Anyway, this no-good hooded huckster's gonna take his leave now. I'm glad to hear you enjoyed yourself.

Wait!

... ...

Who in the world was that? I've never met him before...

I shouldn't know anything about him...

So then, why do I

？！

... ...

Fujimaru...

？！

... ...

...No, it isn't.

That tree didn't have the Holy Grail, either.

It seems this minute Singularity...

...has not yet reached its end.