The Oni of the 20th Floor

Now then, it is about time for the next oni guard to appear.

But rest assured you have nothing to fear, Master.

I WAS concerned about what effect the alcohol fumes may have on me, but thus far there seems to have been none.

And yet, it is always when things seem to be going smoothly that the ground falls from beneath your feet.

I have been on my guard as well, but one can never be too careful.

？！

Your kind consideration warms my heart, Master.

If it is my appearance that concerns you, then worry not. I am a kunoichi and a shrine maidena shrine ninja, if you will. And alcohol is a key to many divine rites.

I may be small in stature, but I assure you that I can endure alcoholic fumes as well as anyone.

It seems like the intoxication and exhaustion effects of climbing this tower...

...may not have much to do with how old each Servant appears to be.

If they did, then Servants like Jack and Nursery would presumably tire out quickly...

...but based on the data I've seen so far, that doesn't seem to be the case.

...So you say that how well one can hold one's liquor does not affect how intoxicated one becomes here?

I am afraid that such things tend to fly over my head, so I shall let you do the heavy thinking.

...Hmm... (Then, why have I been able to climb this tower so easily, despite my own weakness to alcohol...?)

If I recall correctly, this tower was created by Shuten-Douji using her Noble Phantasm.

As such, its effects may well differ from Servant to Servant.

Perhaps that is due to the affinity or bond she has with a given Servant...

Indeed, speaking of bonds, being inside this tower inspires strange feelings within me.

Something familiar, even nostalgic. Something nice, and something cursed at the same time...

(...Hmm. Now I'm wondering if Shuten-Douji and this shrine ninja have something in common...)

And on this floor in particular, I have sensed another scent. One who is strange, yet also hauntingly familiar. Yes, for example, itHm!?

Who goes there!?

Hmph. Who else would hide in dark, cold shadows like this but a demon that feasts on gloom?

Gorgon... What are you doing here? Did Shuten-Douji hire you as well?

Hire me...? As if I would ever let a stunted little oni like her use me.

...Though I will admit that she did invite me here.

Of course, I am under no obligation to help her, but I do enjoy the demonic aura that permeates this tower. It simply drips with poison.

For me, being in this tower is much like...

...Well, like being in a hot spring is for you. So why should my presence be anything but perfectly natural?

Whatever your reasons, the question on our minds is, do you mean to let us through or not?

If you do, then all is well. If you do not...

Master, Lady General. May I speak to you for a moment? (Tug, tug)

Hm? What is it, kunoichi of many attributes? Why are you tugging on our sleeves?

Wh-why would you call me that!? That was just mean!

Besides, you have plenty of attributes yourself, seeing as you are a widow, a horned creature, a hakama wearer, AND a bowless Archer all in one!

Oh my, I'm so sorry. It just slipped out. You're right, I am in no position to judge others...

And I will have you know that I DO carry a bow...sometimes... R-right!?

...Ahem. At any rate, that is not what I wished to speak to you about.

I believe that woman is the source of the smell I've noticed on this floor. I apologize for my impudence, but I cannot leave her behind.

I can tell she is very...twisted? Perhaps even cursed?

Whatever her manner of ailment, I simply cannot look the other way... As such, I would like to talk to her, if at all possible.

I understand this is a selfish request, one completely unbefitting a shinobi, and yet...

？！

Indeed. It all depends on how she responds.

What are you whispering about over there?

I had no intention of serving as a guard, but I feel almost as if our meeting here was fated.

All of this is to say that I have no intention of standing idly by and letting you pass.

？！

Oh, it's simple really. I love nothing more than tormenting weaklings and hearing their pathetic screams.

Just because I'm soaking in what feels like a hot spring to me doesn't mean I've gone at all soft.

And to me, tearing you lot to pieces sounds like a lovely way to pass the time.

Unfortunately...it appears she is not too interested in conversation.

Such avarice... Such cold-bloodedness. It is just as I feared...

Very well then. I shall see this curse's end through with mine own eyes!

Khh... I should have known Eastern magical elements could only do so much. How could water so lukewarm ever be rejuvenating? It cannot even relieve my stiff shoulders!

Ugh, I'd be much better off in the hot waters below. If you wish to move on to the next floor, then go ahead. I can't be bothered to stop you.

I would love to do just that, but...

...Ah, yes. You there. Why do you look at me like that?

I knew it. You... You...

You're cursed too!

...!?

And you have the same great serpent curse too! Hehe, I have never before met someone in the same situation as me. It is like meeting a dear friend for the first time.

I never thought this would happen, especially after I became a Servant.

I suppose one truly never knows what fate has in store...

Um... What is she going on about...?

？！

...I know not what you speak of, but you clearly have the wrong idea, little girl. I

Oh yes, I am well aware.

Indeed, I understand all too well how you feel. It is not the sort of thing one can share easily.

There are matters of which one can only speak to another woman who shares her plight.

As a shrine maiden, it is my job to help others unburden themselves. And of course, there are many things I wish to ask you as well.

For example...

...Do you also find it difficult to get out of bed on winter mornings? Do you find yourself wishing you could just stay under your blankets until spring?

？！

Shh, Senpai. That's a private matter.

Just because she's a cool ninja doesn't mean she doesn't also want to act her age sometimes.

I believe a change of venue is in order if we are to discuss this any further. Let us take this to the women's bath outside.

I am well aware that snakes enjoy cold and gloomy places, but that is exactly why we should pick each other's brains in a nice warm bath.

Come now.

Wait, what are you doing? Stay back. All that earlier was just sour grapes. You couldn't get me into the hot spring outside if you paid me.

Why do you flee? Come now.

Oh. They both ran off.

...Oh well, I was planning to have her rest at this point anyway. Besides, now there is nothing barring our path.

Let us take this chance to advance to the next floor!

Umu umu, there is nothing so Roman as hot springs!

These may pale in comparison to the great bathhouse I built at Campus Martius, but they are still wonderful!

Water hot as the fires of hell... Heat filling the crisp, clean air... Light and steam so conveniently coalescing around certain body parts...!

What a lovely inferno! It is truly worthy of a tyrant such as I!

Ahh, whatever am I going to do? I was already beautiful, but now I glisten a thousand times more than usual merely by being here.

Indeed, I am the very picture of Venus rising from the ocean on an oyster shell. My beauty is like a painting that expresses the envy of the entire world!

But alas, my beauty in these hot springs is now well beyond gods and mortals alike. Forgive me. Now, waiter! An ice-cold glass of strawberry milk!

...(Sigh) Somebody's sure in a good mood...

I probably shouldn't be at this point, but I'm always surprised how she can say things like that with a straight face in front of the LITERAL goddess of beauty.

I get it. I'm a goddess too, so I totally get it.

Ugh, why did you need to bring your ugly paw staff into the bath. It reminds me of cats... So terrifAhh! I mean, it's fine, absolutely fine!

There, now that I have put some distance between myself and the feline... Keh heh heh! I daresay my own beauty easily rivals anyone here! (Swagger)

I am trying to hold my tongue regarding this discussion of goddesses and beauty. Such tragedies that decision has wrought...

Gyaaa! When did you get behind me!? Are...are you some kind of cat too!?

By the way everyone, haven't you noticed something a touch...odd, given the topic of conversation?

...?

Yes, now you mention it. ...She is being quiet.

All thanks to me being close by and covered her ears before she could hear anything...

But it'd be reeeally nice if someone were to trade places with me... If she gets worked up, I'll be the first casualty, you know. Any takers...please?

I heard these hot springs do wonders for your skin! Move aside, little girls!

First I've heard of it. No matter. I'm only here to relieve the stresses of battle.

(Wow! She just sashayed in here cool as you please and slipped right into the best spot in the bath!)

If there is any truth to these springs being good for the skin, I wonder why that may be the case...

It must be the essence... Yes, the essence of so many young Servants soaking here before us... (Stare)

H-hey! Could you NOT give me that creeper stare for a bit!? And you sound, like, super sketch right now, Carmie!

I see. I suppose that means I should let the little girls keep their spots for the moment.

Except the one with fox ears. She looks like she's just desperately pretending to be a high school girl rather than actually BEING one...

If I could just sit beside a Servant who is TRULY young and absorb her essence...that would be

Stop that, Medea, you're embarrassing yourself. Besides, I don't think skin is THAT important.

Who cares about luster, or elasticity, or vitality? Those things just slip away with age, right?

And we all look to be different ages, so I don't see the point in worrying about it.

Don't you lecture me!

Hey! Stop that, Medeas! No fighting with yourself!

Hahaha, this is the best show I've seen in ages. I wonder which of my pupils I should cheer for?

I can't decide. Maybe I'll just turn them both into piglets and be done with it.

Uh oh.

Of course you don't understand now! But you will!

One of these days, you'll see that your beauty is a resource far more valuable than any magical energy...

...and one that fades over time whether you use it or not...!

...! Did you say "beautiful"? You did, didn't you!?

Yes! And I am!!!

...I see. Very well, then. Carry on.

So someone on the level of an emperor shouting at the top of her lungs is actually able to reach her in her berserk state!? You really do learn something new every day!

I'm just glad it all worked out. I don't know what I would do if a Berserker went, uh, berserk here.

It's just not a proper bath unless you can take the time to soak and relax. Six roots purification, six roots purification...

Neroooooo!

Ugh, just hearing her voice from the women's bath set him off!

Not again! We only just got Darius to settle down!

Are we ever gonna get to actually RELAX in this bath!?