Section 20: The Ideal One I Seek

Khh...!

？！

You can't run away any more than you can hold your breath forever. That's not a real solution.

You get it, right?

You know Fujimaru will look at you like a good father would. You know he's going to ask you what you want.

No matter how much you hate it, if that's what needs to be done, he won't stop until it is.

Yep. Can confirm. He can be stubborn as hell.

You've seen it for yourself, and not just at this checkpoint, but across the entire race.

That's right. So please, answer his question.

There's something you want from usor perhaps from humans in general, yes?

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I... I want the same thing I always have.

I haven't lied about anything, right from the start.

I want you to become a perfect father, and a perfect humanity.

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I always try to be perfect. You're the ones who made me. So it's not right that you aren't perfect.

...I seek perfection in everything. That's why I want you humans to be perfect, too.

You have to be perfect. You have to be. Otherwise, I...

I can't make sense of the fact that I love you all despite your imperfections!

I can't make sense of the fact that I love you all despite your imperfections!

So you want perfection in everything. You don't want to love anything that's not perfect.

Even though you know very well that perfection doesn't exist anywhere in this world.

What's more, you're an Alter Ego born from the very concept of compassion.

As a result, you can't help but love humans unconditionally, even though they're the most imperfect creatures on Earth.

What a cruel trick for your creator to play on you. Even by the standards of a fable, that's mean. I can't help but pity you.

What would you know about

Plenty. Enough to make me sick sometimes. And that's why I won't be holding back.

Now, let's talk about how you see perfection.

Specifically, let's talk about the things from this race that you used to define your perfect father figure.

You wanted him to feed you as much of a dish perfectly tailored to your tastes as you wanted.

You wanted him to play board games with you. You wanted him to accept your being a neat freak.

You wanted him to be a weakling, like you, and you wanted him to know you had all these desires.

That's not the kind of perfection you expect from the human race you're supposed to manage.

You weren't looking for a perfect human race at all. You were looking for a fathera Master, who was perfect for you.

That... That's not

It's okay. It's not your fault that you wound up thinking the way you do.

If you were just another AI, you'd probably have simply educated all of humanity in the ways you saw fit.

But that's not what you are right now.

I see. So it's because she became a Servant.

That's right. You were originally made to manage and educate all of humanity.

But now, you've materialized as a much more individual beingas a Servant.

That's why you took the desires you would normally have for humanity as a whole...

...and bent them all towards a single human your Master.

Oh, and I guess the other guys here too, as sort of a bonus.

Who knows? Maybe you brought them in subconsciously, as a way to give yourself plausible deniability.

A bonus, huh. Kadoc and I may both be humans and members of Chaldea's staff...

...but I suppose there's no arguing that we're nearly as important as the last Master of humanity.

You wanted to make humanity into a perfect being.

So if you applied that definition of humanity to a single person, the last Master, it might suddenly be possible.

So you really did try to teach him how to be perfect.

But because your Master is just one person, that attempt took a form that suited your own personal tastes.

That's right. You may have thought your duty as an AI prompted you to hold this race.

Unfortunately, that just isn't the case.

Huh?

O-of course it is. I know my duty. My whole point with this race was to

Sorry, but no.

This is a dream.

A dream where humans truly understand you, and become what you believe to be perfect in response.

Humans have a trope in fiction they call the self-insert. It's a lot like that.

？！

Your dream is of being able to mold all humans to suit your tastes.

A dream where you can change something you truly love into your ideal form.

A dream where you really can erase the contradictory aspects of yourself you hate so much.

You were using your duty to watch over all of humanity as an excuse to score Fujimaru individually.

And at no point did you ever realize that was what you were doing.

That's why your scoring criteria fell apart. Or rather, why it was riddled with game-breaking bugs.

Bugs...? My whole purpose is to keep bugs and viruses away, and I am the one who designed this system.

It can't possibly have any bugs! It can't!

No, no, no! That can't possibly be right!

Accept it or don't. It's the truth. You need to face that so you can start squashing those bugs.

What do they call it when someone loves their father inappropriately? An Electra complex?

In your case, beneath that complex is an insatiable but contradictory drive: your perfectionism.

That's who you really are deep down.

That is what drove you to redirect desires meant for all of humanity towards a single Master, forcing him into a personal relationship with you.

That is what's at the heart of this father race...this never-ending board game!

Ghhh... Aaaaaaah!

？！

It sure is. That must be how she managed to make a Bounded Field so strong.

But it will also be her undoing.

She tried to cut off the energy she extracted from the Holy Grail, causing her whole system to go haywire.

I thought it was strange a single Servant could keep this Noble Phantasm going for so long. If there's a Holy Grail involved, that pretty well explains it.

Please tell me that's not one of the Grails that was in Chaldea's custody!

No, wait, that can't be right. It must be a new one she found somewhere!

In that case: Fujimaru! As director of Chaldea, I'm ordering you to retrieve that Holy Grail!

？！

Exactly, Fujimaru.

The way she's going now, her machinations and monopolization of the Holy Grail will literally cause her to fall apart once she's no longer able to handle the contradictions in her heart.

She doesn't deserve to go out like that. It would be doing Murian a grave disservice.

Kazuradrop. You might have thought being strong would mean you have nothing to fear.

Well, you're mostly right about that, but that doesn't mean it's correct.

Even the very strongest among us can't do everything on their own. Take Morgan's fear of insects, for instance.

It's only natural for even perfect beings to fear something. Now, it's time you came to terms with that.

？！

That's right, Master. you know firsthand how getting stronger doesn't change what you're afraid of.

So! As her senpai in life, teach her how to handle her fears! After all...

...guiding lost children back to the path is one of a father's most important duties!

Ah... Aah...

？！

...No.

What!? You can't go back on your word now!

Shh. Let Fujimaru handle this.

...No, you can't. This scoring system... The criteria... They were all bugged.

You passing just means you understand me now.

You didn't achieve the kind of perfection meant for humanity. You just became perfect for me.

？！

...You're still not perfect as far as humanity goes.

？！

？！

I knew it... I knew I hated humans!

You're so flawed, so far from perfect, and you know it, but you don't even TRY to change it!

I could never be proud of creatures like you!

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!

And yet...

...I still love you.

I love how you look at me and smile.

I love how you understand I'm weak and try to protect me.

I love how you quietly listen to what I have to say.

I love how you try your best, like you're only just remembering.

And so, so much more.

That's why I...

I can't help but love you all from the bottom of my heart...

What!? Are you disappearing!?

Hehehe. I'm a bug checker. If I'm bugged, my job is to get rid of me.

Don't worry. I'll use the last of the Holy Grail's power to release our contract.

You don't mind, right?

After all, I'm just a buggy AI riddled with contradictions. I hate what I love, and I hate myself for loving them.

？！

I'm sure we'll be able to escape this world if she disappears, but

R-right! This isn't the end I hoped for, either!

Being the ruthless, cold-blooded director of Chaldea that I am, I fully intend to hold her to account for her actions...

...but that doesn't mean I want her to disappear! Besides, she's a valuable asset!

？！

？！

Of course I can. I did say I would make up for it all in the end.

This won't benefit you, though. It'll invalidate all the hard work you've put in to get here.

Are you okay with that?

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Very well! Then I'll call on the twilight sky that nobody ever asked for!

Just kidding. It's nothing I need to raise my voice for. Just sit back and relax.

If the ruler of this dream has relinquished her hold over it...

...then it becomes an empty dream for another insect to come in and make into its own bed.

You see, I'm a filthy liar. I never tell the truth.

So now that I've taken over, it'll become one of those "it was all just a dream" things. This game will never have even happened.

...There.

All of this was just a dream, now. It never ended because it never truly began.

Kazuradrop, your ideals and your wishes will remain unfulfilled. Obviously. It WAS all just a dream.

But, in exchange...

...your dream will also remain your secret.

"The end of the game is the end of the dream"... Lucky you. You were smart to put that rule in.

You'll never be saved from that ego of yours now, but in exchange, you'll get to keep dreaming.

And hey, I don't even think you need to worry too much. Some people out there prefer the complex to the simple.

You don't need to throw anything away. Your whole deal's still better than someone who ends up lying no matter what they say.

Besides...

...it's not like you're the only one who hates everything about humans, are you?