4th Night: Merry Christmas in the Labyrinth

Here are the plates!

Mister, is there anything else I can help with? Oh, noisemakers! Those are important, right?

Mister... Well, I guess that's right. If I tell her not to call me Mister then I'll sound even older.

Oh hey you two, wait. Be careful with the noisemakers.

The sound will echo in a labyrinth. You need to be mindful of your neighbors, especially at festival time.

Okay!

Sheesh... I had hoped to avoid a repeat of last year by spending this year alone in a quiet labyrinth.

Um... Sorry.

Don't worry. You got roped into this, too. Don't be so timid.

I know this is foreign to you, but it's a celebration, so try to embrace it wholeheartedly.

Master and I are almost from the same era. Our generation has always gotten really excited about holidays and events.

Don't worry about me. Make noise, and have a good time.

Okay. Chriss...mas. Is...name?

Guess what, guess what! This year we asked Santa for a doll!

That's very unlike you... Ahem, erm, sorry, I mean, such innocence is just like you!

They say the dolls of us are super popular! So we want one as a present!

Oh? Wait a minute. That's no doll, it's an action figure

Me too! Me too!! I asked for a book! But a new tea set would be nice too!

What did you ask for, Asterios?

Huh? Nothing...really

Huh!? What a waaaaaaste!

Ask for something! Or we'll dismember you!

...Dismember? Oh, she means this'll be something to remember!

We'll help you! Asterios, what do you want?

Hmm... It's...secret...

We hope your wish comes true!

We'll pray that your wish comes true!

Thanks. Hope...you...get...wish too...

Okay, food's ready. All that's left is

To wait for Santa!

...Oh. Someone...is here...

It must be Santa!

Let's go meet them!

So much energy.

Asterios, while they're going to see Santa, let's get ready.

Plates on...table... Okay...got it.

...Humph. A confidential message from Chaldea...? I didn't know they had my private contact info... Hello?

...We're lost, aren't we?

Yeaaah... Maybe I was wrong to think I could just figure out the labyrinth...

I-I had a revelation that this was the right way! But...maaaybe it was just my imagination!

？！

Hey, someone's here! Good, it must be the people who asked Santa for presents!

Hello! I'm Jeanne d'Arc Alter Santa Lily! Now, your present is

I'MMA GONNA EAT YOU UP!

Gyah!

I don't have any er...ro...arrow presents like that! That kind of stuff is, um, will have to wait until you grow up!

Reindeer, i-it's gonna eat us!

？！

Santa! Santa!

Wheeere aaare yooou!?

...Those voices! The sweet voices of innocent children calling for Santa!

Come on, let's shout back, Reindeer!

We're heeere! Where are yooou?

Oh good. We finally found you!

Are you okay? We heard a big scream.

W-we're fine. Everything's fine. Anyway, were you the one who asked Santa for presents?

Yep! ...Wait. Are you Santa?

Where's last year's Santa?

...Oh!

This year, I am the one true Santa: Jeanne d'Arc Alter Santa Lily!

Too looong!

It's a fun name, like spam!

Spam!?

But that's too bad! I wanted to thank last year's Santa.

Yeah. She gave us lots of presents.

Altria Santa gave you lots of presents?

Yup, it was me and Jack's first Christmas, so she gave us lots of presents!

We got to be friends with Reindeer, too!

The last Santa did that...

Now, are you ready?

Huh? Ready? Ready for what?

Aww, don't try and fool us! We know!

You only get presents after you beat Santa in a fight!

F-fight...?

Well, I guess being Santa this year has been looots of fighting...

Butbutbut! Santa spreads love, not battles!

It's what the Adult-Me stopped spreading. ...Stupid Adult-Me!!!

I-I'm sorry. When I think about my future, I just can't help it...

Hey! Don't call me "Little"!

？！

She's flirting with Master. Bad Santa!

I am not flirting!

Christmas is a time for children like us! I won't let couples steal it!

Let's get lots of presents, Nursery!

Let's do it, Jack!

Now, let's all gather round for story time! If you're naughty on Christmas, Krampus will come for you!

Let's treat our weird Santa Claus guest to our best hospitality!

We lost...

Waaaahh!

Huh? Wh-what happens if you lose!?

If you lose, you don't get presents! Christmas rules!

The rules...

But I do have presents for you...

Huh!?

...This is... A rose Black Key!

？！

When he hears both the sobbing and cheering of little girls, he comes running...

I am... Santa Island Mask!

？！

I'm here!

My mentooor...!

Humph... It would be rude to tell them they're wrong about Christmas.

Don't worry. Here's what you do. (Whisper whisper)

Um... But isn't lying bad...?

Christmas is a day where lies are okay! April Fools? What's that?

I-I understand!

G-gwah! I. Have. Been. Defeated!

Hwah?

Huh?

Yes, um... It seems like...um... You used... Damage over time! Yes...

I'm so weak... I can't move another step...

I have no choice but to give you these presents, I guess...

？！

Yaaay!

We won! We won! I'm so happy! I'm so super-duper happy!

Okay! Now it's time to dismember you!

Please don't.

Oh, you're alive!

See? It worked, right?

R-right!

But somehow, it just doesn't feel right...

Is that masked person Mommy?

No, unfortunately, I am not your mother.

But in a way, Christmas is a day when everyone is your mother. Isn't that wonderful?

Lots of mommies on Christmas? Really?

？！

Hey, don't shout, Reindeer Master!

Heheh, now that I've ticked Master off, I shall bid you adieu!

My mentooor...!

Okay, new Santa! It's time...

...to invite you to our tea party!

Th-thank you very much. I'll give you your presents there!

It took you a while. I assume you had to fight some weird Christmas battles.

Oh, Master... And you're the new Santa?

That's right. This is the new Santa! She's going to give us presents!

Her name's um... Um...

Jeanne Spam d'Arc Spam Alter Spam Santa Spam Lily Spam, right?

What... That's... What?

Take the spam part out, please!

Oh, so it's like a code name. But it's still long...

Emiya... You didn't request a Christmas present, did you?

Unfortunately, I'm too old for that.

And in my homeland, the parents and guardians are the ones to give the presents.

Asterios didn't make any requests, either. Don't you have anything you want?

I do... But it's...okay...

Hmph. You might think I'm not a really real Santa 'cause I'm young.

I may not look it, but I'm a full-fledged Santa Claus! Now tell me what you want!

...I want...days like this...to last. As long...as...possible...

Huh...?

Getting...summoned...like this... Going...lots of places... Fighting

Someday...will...end... Sometimes...hard, but...

...It's fun...right now... Even...labyrinth...is fun.

Like...a dream...

...Um, that wish... I'm sorry... I can't grant it.

Yeah... So, it's okay...

Want...some food?

...No. I'm Santa. No food for me.

Too bad... It's good...

How long have you been Santa?

Th-this is my first year.

Hmm. So your Spirit Origin base was Jeanne d'Arc?

E-enough talking about me. Now, let's give these two their presents!

What kind of present is it? I can't wait! I just can't wait!

A dolly! A dolly!

...It'll be fine. I'm sure this will be useful... For you two...

That's...

Huh?

...What's this?

What is it?

A Hermitage is a quiet place where monks do special spiritual training...

...It's so you can go someplace quiet... and study instead of just playing all the time...

I just thought studying... Would help Jack and Nursery Rhyme...

Um... Well...

It would be good for you... No, it wouldn't. I-I'm sorry!

？！

Sh-she ran away...

What do we do? Santa got sad! On Christmas!

Is it our fault?

No, it's not your fault. Have some food before it gets cold.

Okay...

What...do we do...? Th-this...is a problem...

Right, then... You, shady-looking guy in the mask who's been creeping in the corner this whole time.

You got a solution?

Let's see...

Before we start thinking about a solution, shouldn't we begin by identifying the problem?

That's fair enough.

Jeanne d'Arc is one thing, but... Jeanne Alter... Especially in Lily form...

No, I think I know the cause. There's something she's missing.

Missing, huh...? Hmm. What is it?

... (Sigh)

Saaantaaa!

Who-wha!?

Oh, there you are!

Wow, you're so fast! Were you going to leave your Reindeer!?

I-I was not!

I-I don't have anything else to say to you once I've given you your present. I have to go give the rest out...

We don't need that present!

Uguh!

Y-you're right... You don't need it, do you?

Yeah. Studying in a quiet place wouldn't be enough for us.

So we're giving it baaack!

Hic... Ohh...

Instead! Instead, we want you to grant our wish!

You had a wish...? Um, wasn't it a doll, and

Nope! We don't need that!

We don't need a doll, or a stuffed animal, or cake, or a tree, or a star, or a party, or anything!

Huh? Th-then what do you want!? There's nothing else I can give you

There is! There is something, Santa! We want

We want to see the sea!

We wanna go see the beach!

Th-the sea? When you say the sea... You mean the ocean?

Um... I've only heard of it... But is it the place where it blows and roars, and is totally different than the land...

We don't know the complicated stuff! We don't know, but Asterios brags about it!

He says it's big! Suuuper-big! Ultra-big! He says we're like pebbles next to it!

If we're pebbles, is Asterios a big rock?

We've never left London, and never seen the sea!

We died before we could.

Me too! I've never seen the sea!

Asterios went with Reindeer, and I hear they all rode on a boat and had a big adventure on the sea a while back!

I'm jealous! I'm so really really jealous!

Sea... Boat... Big adventure... That's...

Wait a minute. Are you saying that going to see the sea

Yup! That's our request!

You took back our present, so Santa will have to grant us our wish!

Of course she will! She's Santa!

B-but But that's...

Oh, a rose Black Key.

Santa Island Mask, at your service!

My mentor! Please, tell me!

What should I do!?

Well, you should grant their request. You've taken back their gift.

Which means you have to grant them another wish.

But children are selfish.

So, if you don't grant their request, they'll keep throwing anything you give them right back in your face! They're such returnaholics!

...That's how it goes with kids. So, that's why you should at least start by granting their wish.

I promise you that if you do, you can be a real Santa Claus.

...I-I understand!

Jack, Nursery Rhyme. I'll use the Llamrei Mark II to carry you to the sea!

Yay!

Okay, let's go!

Reindeer Master!

Uh... It's not like I forgot about you.

Oh!

...It's okay. I didn't forget you. I would never leave you, Reindeer Master...

？！

I think she totally forgot.

It completely slipped her mind!

B-be quiet! Okay everyone, hop on the sleigh!

The Llamrei Mark II is taking off! Oh, my mentor!

Yes?

Thank you! I'll do my best!

Thank you, huh? Oh, I wouldn't thank me... Heh, heh...

Why are you acting like a bad guy? Don't you have to go ahead of them? Let's get a move on.

...I just wanted to end on a bad guy note, that's all.