Section 4: Dark, Sweet, and Evil

Well, Hello, Master!

Sorry. It's a bit of a mess.

But this was the most wonderfully decorated room for a tea party with the Choco-Servants...

Oh, you brought out some nostalgic decorations, didn't you?

Yes, the shining ones are always the better ones! Right, Uncle Shakespeare?

The moment you hear "Uncle" from a little child, there's this sweetness and an "Oh no, I'm old!" feeling, right Master?

Well, well, anyways. Would you please give those Choco-Servants back to us?

Why?

They are lifeforms based off the Valentine chocolates made by the female Servants.

If they don't go back, the ladies won't be able to finish making their chocolates.

No way, you can't take them! They will enjoy a tea party here with me.

There are many kinds of people in Chaldea but there's nobody that will enjoy a tea party with me like this!

Jack stumbles around and disappears during the tea parties and Andersen just writes bad endings!

I even asked the Red Person to secure this wonderful tea for me...

Yes, that's right! I've tried really hard! I won't give them to you.

By the way, can you reserve this room?

It's all right. I think that you can just sleep with Mash, Master.

Oh...Master. I am at my wits' end.

The love of a child is completely different than that of romance. A type of emotion that's different at its core.

So what shall we do?

Hmm... No, no way.

If you insist, then I will have you join me at this tea party.

Oh, really? If you say so Master...

Okay, I will think about it if you join my tea party.

？！

Let's begin the tea party, then. What's important is the pastries, tea, and picture books.

We will eat pastries and read those books while partaking elegantly in tea!

M-Master, I do write stories with happy endings from time to time, but...

A fairytale world like this sure makes me want to write a bad ending.

？！

Ah, Master, it's dangerous. I really want to write that ending now!

Hey, my right hand, settle down!

...Oh, being an adult sure is tough. Even so, why do we have to become adults?

You would be so much happier if you could just eat snacks and drink tea along with these chocolates.

？！

Once you're at Alice's tea party, just go ahead and leave your names behind like everyone else.

Hmmm... Eternity might be too difficult. So at least just for the duration of Valentine's!

？！

Hehehe. I have no choice.

If I do this, the chocolates won't get eaten, and I can enjoy the tea party.

It's a happy ending for everyone! This so fun! Wonderful!

...Oooh, you can call my name even as you're starting to forget yours!

Aren't you the best Master of this era!

Oh, you called me! No one writes bad endings better than me!

...If I say that, a certain boy with a blue hair might get offended, but that's that.

Shakespeare, here I go! Well, although I was drinking tea next to you until a moment ago...

？！

Hey, don't get up all of a sudden! You'll spill the tea!

Oh, my apologies.

Well, not only me, but you Master Fujimaru will be in a tight spot if Valentine's is left unsettled.

Listen well, Master. Let me tell you what this looks like to a bystander if you keep enjoying this tea party.

"From today until the end of Valentine's Day, I will be spending all my time with Alice only!

Not only that, I am not telling any of the other ladies about it!"

Senpai, you're the worst.

？！

I see you're motivated now, Master! Yes. It always comes down to violence.

It's sad but inevitable. Just like water always flows to lower ground, and birds always fly towards the sky.

Yes. Inevitability. Every part of a bad ending is created by inevitability.

If things stay the same, not only will Master, but even the little girl here will face a bad ending.

？！

Heh heh, I will tell you everything when the battle is over. Let's save everyone, Master!

Ugh, so you want to fight! What a bad person... Fine! I don't care anymore.

Master and the uncle who only writes difficult stories, you will all be the Decapitating Bunny's prey!

That's mean, so mean! Flicking my forehead actually hurts!

Now this is the end.

FINE! But I am still not giving you the Choco-Servants!

Heh, heh, now I, Shakespeare shall tell you the cruel reality!

You know, little girl. Tea parties are fun.

If you have them together with sugar-packed tea, sugar-packed pastries, and sugar-packed chocolate...

It will envelope you in a sweet sugary joyfulness.

Unfortunatelywe must not be allowed to enjoy this forever.

Even if the most beautiful time of the year can be kept, there's a price to pay for enjoying anything for eternity.

"When sorrows come, they come not in single spies, but in battalions." That's just how it is.

Wh-What do you mean? Stop saying stuff that I can't understa... Ouch!

That's right. As the price to pay for all those sweet pastries and tea, you'll

...get cavities.

Nooooo!

I hear that cavities hurt like hell before dental technology was established!

It's painful. It hurts!

H-H-Hell... No way, that's terrible. B-But you know? I am a Servant!

Why yes. If you'd been eating normal candy, there's no way you'd get cavities...

However, what if a Servant has been eating candy made from another Servant's power? What do you think will happen then?

I-It's just your imagination. My tooth doesn't hurt at all. It doesn't tingle at all, it doesn't sting at all.

Tea doesn't stain my teeth when I drink it!

？！

Time for the finishing blow! Summon Chaldea's number one dentist!

Eh, eh, eh!?

YEAH!

Huh!?

？！

So, where's my patient? Ohhh, is this adorable young lady my patient?

Come, open your mouth wide...

Raise your hand if it hurts, OK? (Doesn't say it won't hurt.)

Eeeeeeeek. That smile looks so scary!

Relax, young lady. With this Caladbog, AKA dental drill, any cavities will be...

SMASHED IN ONE SHOT!

Nooo! Help, Tooth Fairy!

Phew, it's fixed now. You can go home, Lord Fergus.

Hmm. I feel guilty about threatening an innocent girl, but I can't let bad things go.

I will happily take on the part of the villain if my Great Spin of Heaven and Earth can be useful, HAH, HAH, HAH!

See, I prevented a bad ending, right?

？！

I was bluffing about 50% of the time, but it seemed to work out after all!

After this, we will have retrieved most of the chocolates.

We're still short on some, but you can recover those at your leisure.

Now people can get back to making their chocolates. I am sure the ladies (and some men) among the Servants will be happy.

Master can have an easy mind now and receive those chocolates.

I can have an ease of mind now that I have the idea necessary for the manuscript of my Valentine Anthology.

？！

Don't worry about it, Master! Servants have to enjoy themselves even during off time.

Come now, you have no time to waste on someone like me.

Master... Numerous chocolates are waiting for you!

Hehehe. Indeed this is "To be or not to be, that is the question."