Section 2: Let's Make Some Delicious Stollen!

...Okay. I understand the situation, chirp.

I'll handle things in the kitchen. And I'll get Lady Raikou to help too, so we should be all set.

Unfortunately, the Enma-tei only just started serving Christmas food...

...so I don't have any tips I can pass on.

Still, I'm sure it's going to be a very fun day, chirp. I can't wait to see what you come up with, Martha.

Thank you! I won't let you down!

All right, while it looks like getting the ingredients we need is going to be more of a hassle than I thought, I think we should still start with the menu.

Good point. Let's let Martha decide that.

What do you want to make for the party, Martha?

Don't worry about the mashed potatoes. I'll have a big batch all ready to go.

Hmm... Well...

I think we should have something everyone can snack on before we start the meal in earnest.

So, appetizers then?

We could also do sweets, woof. They'd be a big hit with the children and childlike Heroic Spirits.

An early course of sweets and tea, huh. I bet we'll see a lot of people showing up early, so that sounds good to me.

And since it's Christmas, we should probably do some kind of traditional Christmas treat, like fruit cake. What about...stollen?

Usually, we'd need to give it a lot of time to rise, but we can fudge that with magecraft if we have to.

Stollen sounds great, and I'm sure the children would love it, too.

Yes, that's a great idea! Stollen is really yummy, isn't it?

...Wait. Hm? What's stollen like again?

I don't seem to have very clear memories of anything that isn't from my own time in this Spirit Origin.

Aww, you poor thing. That Spirit Origin must be such a hassle. There, there.

...!

(I always used to take care of my younger siblings, so I've never had someone look after me.)

(Huh, it turns out that getting my head patted by a kind adult like this is...)

(...kind of nice every now and then...)

？！

Eep!

U-um, Master? Were you watching just now? Well?

You weren't, right? Please say you weren't. It'd make me really happy if you said you weren't watching.

Phew.

Thank you, Master! I knew I could count on you!

？！

Oh gosh, oh gosh...

(Whispering) Please forget what you saw! Please!

Otherwise, I... I...

I won't be able to stop myself from unleashing a technique even I've never used before to pummel you!

？！

Phew.

I'm glad to hear that. Thank you, Master.

Um, please understand that I might be shorter now, but I'm still me, okay?

I'm the same dependable big sister Martha you've always known, okay?

What are you two whispering about over there, hmm?

Can we get back to talking about the stollen now?

O-oh, yes. Of course!

Stollen is a kind of German bread that's often made around Christmas.

It's a sweet bread made with fruit and nuts. Kids love it.

I suspect it might have been a staple at your home, eh, Sir Percival?

I honestly can't remember... But I do at least know what it is.

Hm?

I may be a British knight, but my legends also seem to have deep ties to Germany.

If anything, I think you might be better known there than you are in Britain.

The same could be said for Sir Lancelot in France. Trust me on that.

I'm not entirely sure I know what you're talking about...but I do get what you're trying to say.

It's like how Master now works here at Chaldea, even though he's from an entirely different country!

Mmm, close!

...Is it, though?

...Really!?

？！

Anyway, it sounds like we're all in agreement. Shall we start with stollen then?

Yes, that sounds perfect!

Okay then! Let's start making stollena traditional fruit cake!

Yeah!

So you've decided on the first dish for your menu? Stollen, huh... Hmm, so that's stollen, chirp.

I'm looking forward to trying it now. Okay everyone, good luck out there.

Here we are: the basement storehouse.

Whoa, whoa! Settle down, Cat!

Anyway, like I was saying, this storehouse and the kitchen are the lifeline for all of human history right now!

We do grow some foods in the underground garden, but this place is the heart and soul of Chaldea's food supply.

Exactly. But, unfortunately...

It also looks like there's something strange going on here thanks to Scáthach-Skadi "helping."

True, there's usually nowhere near this much space down here. Ahaha.

And it's cold, too! Super cold! So cold I can't stop myself from running around like crazy!

Look at me, zipping around without a carrot in the world! I'm going full throttle, woof!

Oh, right. You're a cat, aren't you? No wonder you don't care for the col

Oh, that? Hey, this cat's still a foxy canine, you know. I've got tail to spare, even if my Master were to take a job by himself up in the Antarctic.

Um...

I...don't know what that means...

？！

S-so...it's a matter of sensibilities then? Is that right?

She's just excited, that's all. It's nothing for a Servant.

Personally, I'm more worried about you, Master. Are you sure you're properly dressed for cold environments?

？！

The storehouse is always kept cold, but this is something else entirely.

In fact, it's TOO cold.

Please be careful, Master. There's no telling what kind of dangers might be inside.

Aah! Something's here!

Please get behind me, Holy Maiden.

I don't think these things are Scáthach-Skadi's familiars, but whatever they are, they're definitely hostile.

Looks like we've all got a job to do then. Let's get them!

Got it!

I'll dice them up like frozen tuna!

Th-then, I'll help you out by cooking for all of you!

You can't fight on an empty stomach, now, can you?

I knew it!

Yes, I am!

？！

Tarasque! Tarasque, I need you!

(I'm here, Big Sis!)

？！

I want to cook something that will help everyone perform at their best! Will you help me, Tarasque!?

(Hell yeah I will!)

...That ought to do it.

Great work, everyone! Here you go! The food's all ready!

I did my best to make something really scrumptious!

Oh wow, so you did! It looks amazing!

(Munch, munch, munch) Hmm, that's quite the flavor. The closest analogy I can think of is...

...it's like those shounen manga where characters are always having big cooking showdowns for some reason...

That's it! It tastes just like the thrill of one of those manga battles! I'm gonna call it "Carnage Cuisine" then!

This IS really good. (Munch, munch) I'm impressed you managed to fit an oven in there, Tarasque.

(Ehehehehe.)

Thank you, Tarasque. What a good boy you are.

Oh?

There's a distortion in space up ahead. What's going on?

Those are my runes at work. They'll lead you to a more appropriate location.

Well that's nice. But, hang on. You're the one who remodeled this place in the first, uh, place.

I did. What of it?

Not even the faintest bit apologetic... That side of her reminds me a lot of Lancer Scáthach.

Hello, Senpai? Can you hear me, Senpai?

？！

That's right. Mash here. I'll be doing everything I can to support you guys!

Although, I'm afraid Scáthach-Skadi said this is the last area where we'll be able to communicate.

And I'm told that the areas ahead of you are a lot like Reality Marbles.

Unfortunately, that means I won't be able to support you much from here. I'm sorry...

That is why I sent a number of guides there to lead you around. You should start by tracking them down.

Guides?

You'll know them when you see them. All right then, have a good journey!

？！

Oh my, it's so beautiful!

But it's still a little cold too, isn't it? Honestly, it's strange that I don't feel colder.

All part of being a Servant. Now then...

Looks like we're not welcome here. I'm sensing hostiles up ahead!

Is it more of those ice beasts?

No, it looks like these are bipedal. ...Here they come!

？！

Understood! I'll lead the charge!

And that's the way the gingerbread cookie golem crumbles! Who'da thunk they'd have dried fruit inside!?

Not to worry though, for these cookies are free of raisins! Once you pop, this cat can't stop. (Munch, munch)

Ugh, I can't believe you're literally feasting on the corpses of our enemies. Although... Hang on. We WERE just attacked by giant, walking food...right?

So this is what she meant when she said the freshest ingredients await us...

Now I see. This area is populated by hostile ingredients.

So then, all we have to do to secure the ingredients for stollen is go around defeating enemies here.

Not so fast!

You're right about the ingredients used to make the gingerbread golems also being perfect for stollen.

However!

Oh?

Oho.

A Servant signal?

If you're going to hunt golems for goodies anyway, then why not hunt the rarest and tastiest golem of them all!?

Er... Ahem. What I mean is, if you're going to hunt golems for goodies anyway...

...then why not hunt the rarest and tastiest gingerbread golem of them all!?

That's me! I've been charged with serving as your guide for this first area...

So that's exactly what I'm going to do!

I don't think we'll have too much time together, but I hope to be helpful while I can!

Ehehe, that's right.

She spotted me while I was walking down the hall and asked if I could help out!

That's wonderful.

Absolutely wonderful, Gareth! Fulfilling fair maidens' requests is at the very core of chivalry!

Even as a Heroic Spirit, you continue doing the Round Table proud, exemplifying everything we knights stand for! Bravo, Gareth!

I have to say, I'm deeply touched. The strength you will lend us is the equal of more than a hundred knights!

Y-you're blowing this way out of proportion, Sir Percival! I just happened to be in the right place at the right time!

Still, now that I'm here, I'm certainly going to do the very best I can!

Just leave everything to me!

？！

No problem!

？！

Okay, so! This area right here is full of special ingredients for cakes, cookies, and other assorted sweets!

All the gingerbread golems you see here are composed of ingredients you can use...

...but one of them is a rare gingerbread golem with especially tasty ingredients.

So relax and let me guide you on the road ahead. I'll make sure you find what you're looking for!

This way, everyone! And please, watch your step.

Here, milady, give me your hand.

Thank you, kind knight. But what about you? It must be hard for you to move around in that heavy armor.

Thank you, milady, but don't you worry about me! I've trained to get around in armor under all sorts of conditions.

(Nodding in hearty approval)

Bravo once again, Gareth. Protecting fair maidens is one of a knight's sworn duties. You're a credit to us all.

Y-you're far too kind, Sir Percival!

Looks like Martha's getting along well with our guide. I'm still a little surprised Scáthach-Skadi thought to hire Servant guides in the first place.

I guess it's nice that she planned ahead like this, but it would have been so much nicer if she'd just poofed the ingredients into the kitchen.

Oh well, I guess life is rarely that simple. Or maybe the queen just doesn't want to make things too easy for us.

You know, it's possible to be TOO accommodating, woof. That aside, I'm sorry to bring this up again...

But this whole place is just begging for me to run around in it!

If I didn't skitter around like crazy here, I could never call myself a cat again, woof!

Ah! Cat, wait!

...Aaand she's gone.

Hell, you could even say she's what freedom would look like if it took physical form. Or would that be going too far?

It's all the more confusing how she has "Cat" in her name, but sometimes ends her sentences with a bark...

？！

Well, at least she went running in the right direction. We're heading that way too!

The rare gingerbread golem sits and meditates over there.

It meditates?

I heard it does that to make itself even tastier.

...Huh?

So, it's trying to reach cookie enlightenment? Who in the world comes up with this stuff?

I know it sounds bad that these ingredients are technically treated as enemies, but I'm told they're really just normal, albeit high-quality ingredients with built-in defense mechanisms.

As long as you're authorized to approach them, they should go back to being ordinary ingredients again.

Hm?

Wait. Did they attack you earlier? Really?

They did!?

That's strange. That doesn't fit with what Lady Skadi told me...

？！

？！

？！

Oh, hello, Sirs Golem Three.

These people are fully authorized, so you can just go back to being ingredients now.

...Sirs Golem Three?

I wouldn't get any closer to them if I were you, Gareth.

Huh? What's wrong, Sirs Golem Three? Can you not hear me?

Yup, they're hostile all right! I had a feeling they were going to attack us again!

Everyone, get ready for battle! Cat, youOh, right, she's not here. Master!

？！

I'll start cooking again!

Please do! Your food was great!

And even better, it looks like it damages our enemies, too!

Ehehe. I'll give it my all!

All right, it's been a while since our second ingredient fight...

...and I'm sensing another Servant up ahead. Is it Cat?

Hey, guys! Over here, woof! Hmm, so that's the difference in flavor!

There's a gingerbread golem here doing zazen. I'm pretty sure it's the rare enemy we've been looking for!

Zazen... That's a Far Eastern word, right? What does it mean again?

It's basically when you sit cross-legged and meditate. Anyway, I know the circumstances are unusual, but I still never thought I'd see a golem doing zazen...

Maybe it's grappling with the question of whether it's food, or a golem...?

There. I think I see it.

That has to be it, right, Master? That golem sitting in the middle of that snowy field with its back to us?

No, wait. It's standing up now...and it's turning toward us!

Is it headed this way? ...No, it's still just standing ther

So, you've come.

I am the solitary Rare Gingerbread Golem. I have achieved enlightenment, and in turn, the ultimate flavor.

I knew it!

？！

My flavor is fit for the heavens themselves. What's more, I am told you are all searching for ingredients for a grand Christmas party.

Then look no further, chefs, for I am the best ingredient you shall find anywhere!

O-okay!

Now, show me the strength of your resolve! Should it be sufficient, then you may use me as you see fit!

But, if not...

...I will scatter your remains across this snowy plain like powdered sugar!

He's...really fired up about this whole thing!

Well said! Chivalrous knights that we are, it is only right that we respond in turn!

Go on, Gareth! I leave this in your hands!

Understood!

We hear you loud and clear, Sir Rare Gingerbread Golem! Hazy though your reasons may be, it is clear we would be doing you a grave dishonor if we were to refuse!

We of Chaldea will meet your challenge with all our heart and soul!

I swear to you here and now that we WILL be leaving with your delicious ingredients for our Christmas party!

Now...have at you!

Well done. Well done indeed...

You fought magnificently yourself, Sir Rare Gingerbread Golem.

As did you, all you other gingerbread golems!

Victory is yours. Go on. Take my ingredients.

That was a great battle! But man, I'm so jealous, Gingerboss!

I can't believe you're gonna be used for a Christmas party. Our hero!

Us ingredients get used for all sorts of things. Meals, snacks, rations, party food...

But if we had our choice, we'd definitely want to be party food. Too bad we're just not tasty enough...

(Chomp)

Huh!?

Got you, ingredients!

Don't worry. I'm going to find a use for every last one of you.

When I'm done, you'll all be part of the tastiest stollen ever!

Really? You'd do that for us?

Of course. The more the merrier!

Aww, my internal Like count is off the charts... This is a picture-perfect, paw-print emoji reaction moment.

This all feels like it's wrapping up nice and neatly, but...is this really for the best?

？！

I guess you're right!

(Maybe so...but simple programs like these shouldn't have personalities, let along feelings.)

(Sure, it's possible to imbue inorganic creatures with artificial personalities, but you need a soul to act as the personality's base before casting the spell.)

(Powerful as Scáthach-Skadi's magecraft might be, I'm pretty sure she doesn't use souls.)

(Oh well... We don't need to explain what's going on right now.)

(That can wait until later.)

Great! That takes care of our first ingredient!

All's well that ends well, woof!

Whoa, whoa, nothing's ended yet. We're only just getting started.

Well, this is as far as I go. I wish you luck with the next ingredients!

Really, though...

...I can't help but wonder why the ingredients attacked you in the first place.

？！

No, Lady Skadi said this shouldn't involve any fighting; she said all I'd have to do is lead you to the best ingredients and to just think of it as going for a walk.

She calls this a walk, huh. She seems to have a walk mixed up with combat training.

No, no, don't be silly. We're not talking about Lancer Scáthach here.

We'll just have to check in with her ourselves, then. Why don't we head back to Chaldea for now, Master?

？！

Got it!