Section 6: Floating Singularity ○○○○

Hi there! It's me, Wandjina.

... ...

Hmm... I wonder if they're onto me.

Fun should last forever and ever. At least, I think so.

But the other me doesn't agree, which is why she's chasing the Holy Grail.

Let's see, where did they go this time... Oh? That's a lot of pumpkins!

... ...Do they really need so many?

Oh, hi, Puppy. What are you doing here? Halloween is still a ways off.

Wait, don't tell me. You just couldn't wait another second for Halloween, could you!?

Hi! What's Halloween?

Huh? Who's this?

Come on, what is it?

You want to know that badly, huh? Okay, I'll tell you.

Halloween is a grand yearly reckoning! A huge annual festival where we ward off bad fortune and bring in good luck!

We live for Halloween, and we'd die for Halloweewell, I might not go THAT far!

But as far as events go, it's easily bigger than Christmas and Valentine's Day combined. Easily!

Oooh. Sounds like fun!

Oh yes, it's very fun! Although, that reminds me...

Could you help me with something, Puppy?

？！

You know how Halloween tends to attract lots of dead spirits, right? I was just thinking I want to tidy them up before the festivities begin.

So it's a good thing you showed up now! Come on, let's get to work!

I suppose it shouldn't come as any surprise that Elisabeth Báthory would be so unfairly selfish with our time...

Oh, well. I suppose it's not a problem for the time being. Come on, everyone. Prepare for battle.

There we go. That looks much better. Thanks, Puppy!

？！

Um...Elisabeth?

Yes?

Well, um, I can't say I'm too surprised, since this happens fairly regularly...

...but as you said, Halloween is still a ways off.

So why is all...this, here right now, along with Castle Csejte?

Good question. You don't even have a Holy Grail.

Sure I do. I found it lying on the ground. See?

You, what, tripped over it?

Ugh, everything about you is obscenely unfair, isn't it!?

Awww, stop. You'll make me blush.

I wasn't praiNo, wait. Maybe I am! Look at how Mash and Master are just going along with this!

？！

Anything goes with Elisabeth...

Well, never mind that now! EllyI mean, Elisabeth!

Just stay right where you are, okay? Don't move. And whatever you do, DON'T let go of that Grail!

Wait. Huh? Wh-why're you all creeping toward me!?

And why are you all looking at me like that!?

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!

Slowly... Slowly...

Everyone...get...ready!

Huh? What the...!? Eee! Eee! Eeeeeeeee!

？！

That's one hell of a grip!

I'll go after them. Zerco!

Oh boy. Are you going to mix me and Zerco up in the confuno, you didn't! You've grown so much, Altera!

Waaah! It got away agaaain!

Sh-should we be worried!? What if it grants her wish!?

No, I don't think we have to worry about that.

I can only guess, but I believe Elisabeth's wish was already granted.

She also seems to be genuinely distressed by her sudden flight...

But anyway, we should go after her. Wandjina, get ready to

Hold it!

I feel bad for Elisabeth, but before you go running after the Grail again, I want to make sure of something.

...And to be clear, I really do feel bad for Elisabeth here!

？！

Sion and I have been investigating this Singularity ever since you all arrived.

It's bigger than any other Singularity we've ever seen. Big enough that it actually made us wonder if it covered the whole earth.

But it doesn't. If it did, the distances wouldn't make sense.

That's right. Distances.

Oh, so you figured it out too, did you?

？！

So, the distances we've been flying didn't make sense?

Not a bit.

For example, the distance from Australia, where you started out, to America, is about fifteen thousand kilometers.

And yet, you got to America from Australia in less than ten minutes. The same thing happened with the tropical island and that vaguely Asian desert.

But, that was the real Grand Canyon.

You're right, it was. And so was Sydney and everything in between. They were all real.

Which means the only difference between this place and the real world is, you guessed it, the distance between places.

In that Singularity, I'd estimate there's no more than ten kilometers between Australia and America.

And not just them, either. This would apply to everywhere you've visited as well.

Th-then...does that mean this Singularity is shrinking Earth?

If it is, then the damage it could cause until we can restore it will be absolutely catastrophic!

N-no! It's not like that!

Wandjina!?

Ah, so you did know. I thought you might.

Urk.

All right, you, you're going to tell us everything you know now.

Oh, but don't worry. We're not concerned about you secretly betraying us or masterminding this whole thing or anything.

If you were, I suspect Yagyu's sword would have had something to say about it already.

I will not cut her down. From what I have seen, Lady Wandjina is far from evil.

And if she was?

Yikes.

So let me just make sure.

This Singularity isn't shrinking the earth, nor is it having any detrimental effects on the real world.

Do I have that right?

Of course! I'd never destroy this planet or its people!

Oh, but...since I didn't tell you any of this before...

...I wouldn't blame you if you don't believe me...

Wandjina...

Ho ho ho.

Don't worry. I know that you're a good girl.

Santa can tell if someone is naughty or nice with just a glance. I call it my "Santa Eye."

Thank you...

I know you're a good kid too. You might not be aware of this, but we actually go way back.

...?

But that's a Dumuzid mystery for another time. Please, don't mind me.

Okay, now that we've laid the safety concerns to rest, let's put a pin in this discussion...

...and go after Elisabeth!

？！

I'll look for it now! Hmm... Found it!

It looks like it's flying north of here!

Can you catch up to it?

Of course!

？！

There they are!

Puppyyyyyy! Save meeeeee!

？！

Are you NUTS!? Look how high I aaam!!!

What about your wings!? Are they just for show!?

...Oh, right. But at this speed, they might as well beee!

？！

I do think you'd manage if you fell, but I gather you don't care to find out, hm?

Of course nooot! Wait. Huh?

H-hostiles are still trying to stop us even in these circumstances! The Holy Grail just spawned several Demonic Beasts!

Hmm. The lack of terrain up here puts us at a severe disadvantage.

Don't worry! I'll make something for you to stand on!

Th-then we might be able to do this!

Okay! Here goes!

We've defeated the Demonic Beasts!

Way to go, Puppy! Double high five!

...Oops. I let go.

？！

Altera!

I've got thiiis.

Eeeeeeeee! I'm gonna end up grated all over the mountainside like so much cheeeeeese!

I've never seen a single Servant with so many attributes crammed into them. Maybe this is a good time to clean house? I suggest dying and getting re-recruited as a hero of the underworld next.

That's...actually not a bad idea...

There we go.

Th-that was a close one...!

Thank you, Altera! Oh, and would you mind roasting that sheep on a spit for me later?

Not at all. Okay, Master, this problem's taken care of!

？！

Right. I'm afraid the Holy Grail took advantage of this opportunity to escape again.

I'd like to go after it...but for now, I think we should pick up where we left off earlier, Wandjina.

Okay. I'll take us down.

Oh man. I really thought I was gonna die...

But you didn't, so it's okay!

Hey, yeah! Okay, I'm gonna head back to Castle Csejte now!

Thanks, Puppy!

Well, she seemed no worse for wear...

I am glad to see she is as full of pep as ever. Indeed.

All right, Wandjina, will you tell us what you know now?

Okay!

So, um, like I said earlier...

...this Singularity isn't shrinking the earth or anything like that.

It's just that... Um... This Singularity is located in... Well...

？！

What is it, Jina-Jina?

Does your tummy hurt?

No, it's not that! I'm trying to say this Singularity is...um...

...ide.

？！

I'm so sorry, Wandjina, but I didn't catch that. Could you repeat it, please?

It's...inside.

Inside...?

Inside what?

... ...My tummy.

...?

Y-yeah! This whole Singularity...

...is inside my tummy!!!

？！

Tummy!?

...How?

Ah. I see. So that Wandjina let the cat out of the bag.

That sounded like

Hello, everyone.

I guess I should say it's nice to meet you.

...This is the real me. The real Wandjina.

？！

Hey, no fair! We're both the real Wandjina!

Oh, sorry. Let me rephrase.

This version of me is also the real Wandjina.

Okay... So, um, Wandjina, when you say we're inside your tummy, do you mean

I mean exactly what I said. This whole Singularity is inside my stomach.

...Hm. I guess it would be hard to tell from the inside.

Here. I'll show you what it looks like from the outside.

Is that

？！

Are you...floating above the Bleached Earth!?

This is me.

The floating Singularity Wandjina in all my 832 kilometer tall glory.

D-did you say "eight HUNDRED"!?

That IS big.

I'm the great spirit charged with protecting the seven water stars. Of course I'm big.

I protect and cherish the water stars and the people who live on them.

And I am so very glad I got to meet all of you. Which is why...

That's why...

...I hope we can continue to have fun together.

The other Wandjina just vanished!

I think she's like a...terminal? Or an illusion?

So, we are standing inside your body right now...

Well, I suppose when you are over eight hundred kilometers tall, it is not so strange to have a Singularity inside you.

... ...Wait, no. It still is. It absolutely is.

So, we're in your stomach? Your intestines?

No, I don't think you're in a specific organ or anything like that. I'd guess it's more of a...conceptual tummy.

That's right!

That makes sense. I wouldn't have any notion of what to do if this turned out to be your liver or some such.

？！

She's me, too. The me who got stuck to that Holy Grail.

But she's enjoying it, and I don't think that's a good thing.

So then...are you her...er, your conscience?

Conscience?

Good guess, but I don't think you're quite right.

Let's see... You know how whenever you're enjoying yourself, there's a part of you wondering if there might be something better you should be doing with your time?

I think she's that part of Wandjina.

I...guess? Maybe I am...

？！

Yeah. She keeps saying how much fun she's having.

...I can sense her feelings, so I can tell.

After all, I've never interacted with any humans like this before.

Everything I do here is just so much fun. Breathing... Watching... Being surprised...

Eating together... Sleeping in tents...

It's all so much fun I can hardly stand it.

I see. As a great spirit, all this time, you've been

Alone.

Yeah.

But it wasn't hard. It wasn't even boring.

...I'm sorry. I wasn't totally honest.

So, I made a Singularity. I copied the real world, only much smaller.

That way, everyone would be able to live out their lives inside me, peacefully, always having fun.

？！

I know...

I know what you want to say. That's why I'm here.

I'm the sleeping great spirit Wandjina's... Um... What's the word for this again?

？！

Yeah, that's it!

... ...Okay. I understand.

But then, what do we have to do to stop your real body with the Holy Grail backing her up?

I think we just have to keep going after it as hard as we can.

What happens if we don't go after it?

I'd really like you to.

We can't refuse the chase now. All she wants is to keep playing with us.

You are correct. We are engaged in something not unlike an elaborate game of hide-and-seek.

Yes, exactly!

All right, we can make this wish of yours come true. I am Santa, after all. Ho ho ho.

I'll come along, too. I'll show you all that there's more to sheep than just counting us to fall asleep.

？！

Yeah! Let's have more fun!

That's easy! We've been having lots of fun already!

Thank you! ...Okay, it's this way! That's where my Holy Grail self seems to be!

Hey, don't go off on your own! Come back!

...All right. We may as well get going. At least now we know what the real problem is.

All that's left is to figure out a solution to the last thorny question.

What question is that?

How do we get this other Wandjina to agree to end her fun?

A thorny question, don't you think?