Section 2: Mother, Drama, and Chocolate

... ...

？！

Wait, hold on, Master. I know how you feel, but please listen to me.

Due to my special nature, I am familiar with modern events such as Valentine's Day.

Therefore, shouldn't you view my actions as a way to remove any elements that might cause you trouble?

That's why they call you the most overprotective Servant in Chaldea. We understand your motives now, but can you share the details with us?

I object to that overprotective statement... But fine, I'll ignore that for now.

Master. The people trying to send you chocolates are not normal humans.

That's right They are Servants, heroes of the past! They are a group of people abnormal in all kinds of ways.

Capability, mentality, skill, and berserk level, they are the best in almost everything.

There's no way they would simply make some chocolate, send it to you, and just end it there.

I am certain. Something bad will happen to you. Without a doubt, it'll be GG for you!

To stop my Master from walking into a minefield, it's obviously my duty as a Servant

No, my duty as a friend who has a heart. I understand the consequences greatly. I had lady issues, too!

As I thought, you're an overprotective Servant.

Hmm. My words alone are not enough to convince you? I thought as much, so I brought over a special guest.

Hmm, a guest, you say? A guest who has gone through multiple lady troubles... That can only be...

Chocolate is dangerous, Master!

？！

I know right?

That's very good!

I didn't think too much and accepted some chocolate during a certain Holy Grail War! Then an intense confrontation unfolded right in front of me!

I could have stopped it if it was just a fistfight.

But there's no way I could stop two people from stabbing each other with words while smiling.

What awaited me was endless stomach ulcers...

Chocolate is dangerous, Master. It will mislead people!

Thanks, beautiful, young warrior. I really appreciate your life lesson.

Well, meditate on the wisdom of pioneers like this and be patient.

Master. Don't forget that the future of mankind depends on you.

？！

...Oh boy. It seems we can't convince you. In that case, we will stop you with brute force.

Kill one to save a hundred I hate that idea, but I will believe it to be the absolute justice in this case!

That's right, unknown Archer! For an Archer Class we sure do think alike!

Master! Even if I, Diarmuid, must point my blade at the one I serve

I will spill blood for the sake of my Master! That is the sure way to reduce casualties!

Hahahahaha! I guess that's what happens! All right, let's do it Master!

Ugh, I guess this is the end...

Your idea is noble but tainted by evil thoughts. I believe that's why you lost.

I don't remember having those evil thoughts

？！

If Lord Emiya feels like it, he can effortlessly make a chocolate.

In the event that Master does not receive chocolate from anyone... Since Master would look bad if that happened...

He was going to say "You might not want one from your guardian, but here" and then give you a chocolate.

That was the kind of beautiful ending he was going for.

The feeling of not receiving anything, I... I understand that feeling all too well...

I made this chocolate using leftover ingredients, but I thought it would be better than nothing...

It's the last insurance on Valentine's Day. Well, in Master's case, there is Ms. K.

I see, it makes me happy that you like it... But I guess that's just me being nosy...

？！

...By the way, Lord Emiya. Do you know that Red Saber over there?

Red Saber? I don't remember calling her here

IT'S ME!

IT'S ME!

...I think you have transcended the joke and became the stereotype. ...Red Saber?

As usual, is this part of your scheme? Just how convenient can you get?

I had no choice, nom nom.

Chocolate is the treasure of calories, nom. When you say calories, it can only be me, nom.

Well, there is a possibility that Altera will show up, but right now she's busy making chocolate...

...while mumbling "Chocolate is civilization... Wait... Is it?" So I left her alone.

If I try to deceiv... I mean persuade her, she'll fire beams at me! No questions asked!

NO MORE VIOLENCE! Shouldn't we make that into a slogan and post it everywhere in Chaldea?

The pen is mightier than the sword but the sword is quicker than the pen.

Unless you can see that... Remember, beams, no questions asked.

？！

Well, although it feels like I am just a pawn in the hands of the mastermind, it doesn't matter since chocolate is delicious. It's fine!

？！

That's right, the mastermind!

You see, even without relying on someone great like me, I'm sure you can tell there's a Servant that appeared recently...

...that will make you think "Can't we just blame everything on this guy?"

...Ah yes. That guy.

The kind that would make you say "It's for the best..." with a sorrowful expression.

That one that feels like "That one may smile, and smile, and be a villain."

Now go, go chase that person down! I am going to stay here and enjoy more cocoa.

Hmm, sweet. This is good poison.

？！

Nom nom nom nom nom...

I know, I know, but Can't stop, won't stop!

Well, Emiya! Diarmuid! Let's show them the power of the Three Knights Class!

Hold on. Are you dragging me in?

As I've said, chocolate is dangerous, Master!

All right, all right! I've lost!

...But, I've burnt up all of the calories in those chocolates with this fight, right?

A Servant's physique doesn't change, you know...

Even if by some skill you may change your physique, this amount of exercise won't do a thing.

A healthy diet can be adopted only after leading a regimented life, getting proper exercise, and appropriate food.

...Hmm, now that we're at it. Let me fix that unhealthy body of yours.

Er, hold on. Why are you grabbing my hand?

Fuyuki Citizens' Marathon Flame Course, I will have you join me as well! Ready... BOOM!

Boom! Did you just say "Boom?" Just how forceful can you be? I don't even have time to comment!

But, please wait! Physical labor does not fit my image... Oh, I can feel the burn! My fat is burning!

Ow, this hurts! Help me, Diarmuid! At least ready the chariot!

Friendship between two men... How wonderful! Please let me join you as well!

You too, Diarmuid!

？！

They will be fine. Lord Caesar's true quality comes out after he dies. At least that's the way I've written about him.

...Are we still missing some chocolates? Aren't you curious about the "mastermind" Lord Caesar mentioned?

However, haste makes waste. Let's call it a day!