The Fanfare Is for Us

Welcome, ladies and gents, to Singularity Idol!

We've got a real treat for you today, folks! An exclusive interview with none other than Virtuosa!

Umu! Go ahead! Ask me anything!

All right, don't mind if we do the Huh? Um, Emperor Nero?

This here interview was s'posed ta be for all of Virtuosa...

But I don't see hide nor hair of Shuten-Douji or Euryale.

Shuten decided to take a nap after her morning wine and bath.

And Euryale said it was such a nice day that she was going to spend it visiting the Parthenon on Asterios's shoulder.

I swear, I have had it up to here with them and their whims! It is as though they have no idea at all what it means to be a responsible adult!

(Can't say "responsible adult" and Nero quite go together, either...)

Well, that ain't so bad! The great thing 'bout broadcastin' live is ya never know what's gonna happen!

So, y'all at Virtuosa been rackin' up a nice string of victories on the way to the final round of the Grail Concert

Tsk tsk. Nice? They were not merely "nice." Our victories were the stuff of legend!

That they were. So as you've been racking up these legendary victories, were there any other idols you've faced who truly stood out?

Good question... We have certainly competed with a number of formidable rivals.

Ultra-Dimensional Shikisai Kitan, Heian Enbu, Bharat the Eternal, Otome SHOW-Nen, Valhalla X Girls...

All of them were worthy opponents, and I love everything about them. In fact, I want them for myself!

Which is why my agency is negotiating a buyout as we speak!

Really!? That's a huge scoop! Are you sure you can talk about that here?

Oh yes, it is perfectly fine! There is no one out there who would not accept my conditions, anyway!

I have the full weight of Rome's coffers behind me! I just have to drop that on them!

Brr, this bitter wind is chilling me to the bone... I cannot believe how quickly my agency's share price tanked!

They even came and seized my golden arena (read: headquarters) before I knew what was happening.

This is truly the dark side of living in the information age. One sound bite taken out of context, and suddenly the whole world is against you.

Your remarks were aired live and unedited, so I'm not...really sure that's what happened here...

Oh, never mind what may have happened in the past! Always look on the bright side of life, I say!

Damn. You take livin' in the moment to a whole new level, don'tcha!? Nothing wrong with that in my book though!

Anyway, we certainly cannot continue the interview segment like this, but worry not! I have an idea!

So that's why you came to my house now, huh? Ahaha, that's hilarious.

I thought we could take this program in a whole new direction by making it more of a talk show.

By which you mean your budget got cut to nothing, huh? Well, that's okay with me. So what did you want to talk about?

I'd still like to hear 'bout how Virtuosa became Virtuosa.

What do you mean?

You know! You guys burst onto the music scene out of nowhere and took the charts by storm, right?

You three are the only ones who know what led to that first appearance, and I'm sure I speak for lots of fans when I say we'd all love to know more.

Ahh, now I get it.

For example, you're all quite the collection of, uh, strong personalities, so how'd you get together?

There's a whole lotta people out there wondering why you'd want to form a group in the first place.

So you wish to know the story of how we met, hm? That does bring back memories!

It was the year my favorite chariot racing team accomplished a miraculous V9. I will never forget it...

Hmm hm hmm. It seems the Forum Romanum is in full swing! I love it!

And yet, my heart is still downcast, for I have yet to find the kind of people I seek!

If only there was someone out there as skilled and charismatic as me! Someone else with the makings of a super idol!

Little bird, little bird, sing your song of the East♪ Sing of the home to which I can never return♪

Oh my, what a sad, soulful singing voice.

Oh, if it isn't Her Imperial Majesty. Would you care for a drink of water?

I just fetched it from the Tiber.

Ahh, what a dreadfully shabby-looking girl! You there. Are you from the East?

Yes, I am, Your Imperial Majesty. I am but a poor oni from the East who had to flee her homeland to escape wicked samurai.

All I have to my name now is my penchant for singing...

That is it! I have finally found the diamond in the rough I have sought for so long!

Me, an idol? Surely you jest, Your Imperial Majesty.

Not at all! As Rome is my witness, I will make us both into legendary idols if it is the last thing I do!

Huh, so that's how that went down... Hmm? Hang on. Something about that story doesn't add up.

Oh, sweetie. The emperor here loooves her tall tales.

No, we actually met for the first time back when the cherry blossoms of the capital were in full bloom...

(Whine, whine)

Ahaha, looks like we've got a couple of stray pups here. Where'd you two come from?

We have crossed the sea to come here from the faraway land of Rome, woof! In fact, I used to be emperor there, woof!

And I'm Arf Arf, an ex-Greek goddess, arf. Arrrf arf arf.

I couldn't just leave those poor things to fend for themselves, so I decided to take them in.

All right, just hold your horses. Ain't no way that's how it went down.

Definitely not. That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard.

Whoa! Now we've got the goddess here, too!

Oh, if it isn't Euryale! Are you all done visiting shrines for today?

I hurried right back after I found out about the mess you made. I had to make sure you didn't ruin our reputation before the final round even starts.

Phew, finally, somebody with a lick of common sense. Maybe now we'll finally get a story we can believe.

Oh, you want to know about how we met? That's easy.

One day, I was playing by the water on the island of Crete when two babies in a basket washed up on shor

I take it all back!

Y-your story changes more every time you tell it... What's your problem? Are you all lying liars from the land of lies or something?

I prefer to think of us as "entertainment driven." We are not trying to deceive anyone.

Hehe. We're just playing a game. A game to see which of us wins.

A game?

Not a siiingle one of us remembers how we got started.

Either we just kind of started doing it, and the whole thing blew up, or we started out trying all sorts of things and narrowed it down over time.

But that's just a boring story, right? So we decided we just weren't going to bother with any kind of fancy origin story.

As you know, we are always fighting amongst ourselves. Even our fans are divided into three factions.

So we decided that whoever of us ultimately ends up dominating Virtuosa will be the one to write our history.

That's why we can't say anything for certain right now. All we have are the different pasts we've each come up with. That's the game.

I see...

So you three are just treating Virtuosa like your own private plaything.

Our time is over. We will never again be a part of history. That is why we are contenting ourselves with this game!

And of course, if any idols even stronger than us were to appear, it would be fun to leave the rest to them, too.

Who cares about historical accuracy? Leave that for the academics!

So, you haven't yet decided what the true Virtuosa story is, and you don't even want to.

You got it. Sorry we can't give you the kind of answer you were looking for.

No, that's okay. Just hearing that much is plenty. Now I'm even more excited to see what's next for you all!

Before we sign off, can I ask how you're feelin' about the final?

Umu! We are going to win, of course! After all, we

... ...?

What's wrong, Nero?

Come to think of it, who is our opponent for the final round?

That depends on who wins the B block semifinals: ∞QUEEN, or Saint Mahatma Operatic.

Hmm... I see. Yes, of course. But, you know, there's something...

Huh. Guess I wasn't the only one who thought something was off then.

No, you're not. It feels like...something is missing.

Some really cute idol who should have been in this Grail Concert, but wasn't.

How strange that we should all be thinking of the same nonexistent person.

Someone I swore I would pay back someday.

Um... Is this some new Virtuosa backstory you cooked up or somethin'?

No, this is... Gnn, I do not know! But I wish to know! Badly!

MC, focus the camera on me! Ahem!

I do not know who I am saying this to, but no matter! Whoever you are, I order you to comply with this wish I hold deep in my heart!

Come find us, adorable idol! We await you on the stage of glory!

It is there that we will all once again sing, dance, and shine brightly together!