Shop 40: Even If It's Thin

Paraíso!

There really IS tengoku on earth! From now on, I'm shutting myself away in here!

Whoa, they even have a new doujin from my favorite artist! I can't believe I didn't hear about this one! You're mine!

So...this is a bookstore?

？！

Exactly! Doujin, by definition, usually circulate entirely through cons.

As passion projects produced by small groups, their very existence is fundamentally at odds with the concept of widespread distribution.

But then, someone had the brilliant idea of coming up with bookstores like this to make up for that flaw!

I, uh, I see. Thanks for filling me in.

This store is a little more posh than I was expecting, but I can feel it pulsing with doujin power where it counts.

If true paradise exists, this is definitely it.

Oh man, this is so excitiiing!

Whenever I hear the word "doujinshi," I always think back to that summer in Luluhawa.

Umu, that was a festival of the arts for the ages.

It is just a shame that I was prohibited from distributing the book I made myself.

(Huh. It sounds like everyone here knows a lot more about this stuff than I would have thought...)

Doujin... Primarily comics made by professional and amateur artists alike simply for the joy of making them, right?

From what I understand, it sounds like people care about them the same way I do about sculptures and dolls.

Since it's common for one person to find value in something another person made...

I'm guessing this place was made to collect and display many such works to make it easier for people to buy and sell them?

Exactly! Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check all the shelves here to see what they've got (and just not look at the price tags for now) before I

？！

Senpai is right, Osakabehime. I'm afraid I have to ask you to do your shopping later.

How much later?

Do you think you can wait until after the Singularity has been repaired?

But, that'll give me barely any time before it closes! Iyadaaa!

I am the one who stands atop this store's org chart! They call me...the Doujin Sage!

Batty was so shocked by the sudden appearance of this mysterious new character that she unwittingly began narrating her own thoughts in third person.

You come here in search of a trial? Then a trial you shall have.

In this store, instead of pitting our customers against each other to earn points, we ask them to complete a challenge.

All you need to do is clear the owneI mean, Lord Doujin Sage's challenge, and the points are yours.

We hope you'll consider taking part! Oh, but please be aware that some challenges may require certain qualifications.

I see. So what's this, um, trial involve?

Hohoho. Well you see, I've been blowing off work to read doujinshi ever since Akihabara was a barren wasteland

(That doesn't sound very sagelike to me...)

Which is why I want nothing more than to see doujin culture flourish for many years to come.

And to make that happen, we need to train a younger generation to carry on our traditions.

Go on.

If you want to earn points in my store, you will need to prove that your eye is discerning enough to merit them.

My true goal, you see, is to unearth new and promising talent.

...So, um, what exactly is it you want us to do?

I want you to find the best doujin in this shop, bring it to me, and explain your reasoning for choosing it.

Huh? Isn't that kind of vague? What do you even mean by "best"?

There are so many ways in which to evaluate a work of art. All I seek is an answer I can accept.

But I will warn you up front: any shallow choices, such as picking the most expensive book in the shop, will be disqualified!

Hmm. Okay, I'll just think of this as a kind of challenge run then.

It shouldn't be too hard to find a rare book one of the industry's current biggest artists put out while she was still making douji

Stooop!!!

Gyaaah!

You can't fool me. There's no need to unearth a warrior who's already in the thick of battle!

What you need to be doing now is drawing! In fact, what are you even doing here in the first place!?

You should be back in your room pouring your heart onto your drawing board, not out here with your canvas still blank!

Now you're hounding me about my deadline, too!? You've got it all wrong! This is just my input time!

True, I will admit that input is in many ways just as important as output.

But your experiences in the trenches do mean you're a poor fit for this challenge.

I want to see new, future possibilities. Not the cold, calculating moves of a seasoned doujin artist, but the raw, unfettered power of youth!

Now, let me see which of you IS qualified...

You two have the faces of assistants who have looped through the hellish summer of doujin creation multiple times.

That makes you pros in your own right, which disqualifies you from this challenge.

You mean Senpai and me? Wow, you really do have a keen eye!

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to sit this one out. This is all way outside my area of expertise.

All right, I've made my decision. You two will be the ones to take part in my point challenge!

Me? Very well. To be honest, I do not know very much about manga, but I have absolute confidence in my eye for art!

Me too? I don't have much confidence when it comes to evaluating two-dimensional works of art myself...

Umu! Worry not! With me here, this challenge is as good as won!

(I hope those two'll be okay...)

(I-I'm sure they will be. They both know a lot about art, after all.)

Thank you, Fujimaru. I hope I can properly apply my sensibilities about three-dimensional works...

？！

Come, Galatea! Let us begin by looking over every book on these shelves!

All right. I'll do the best I can...

It looks like they found a book they agree on. I wonder what kind of doujinshi it could be...

So you've made your choice?

Umu. Here you go.

Yes. This is it.

(Let's see what they picked... ...?)

(A doujin of an anime that used to be popular decades ago with, um, kind of an old-fashioned art style?)

(It's definitely not winning any awards. Even its cover and binding aren't all that memorable.)

(A-are they sure about this? I have a hard time believing this is really the best doujin in the shop!)

(Then again, they do say not to judge a book by its cover...)

...This is your choice?

We found no end of books with well-drawn art.

Between my fine Roman sensibilities, and Galatea's Greek sculptor's eye, there were plenty of worthy candidates.

However, they all lacked something moresomething that definitively set them apart from all the other books.

...Then why did you settle on this one?

To be perfectly honest, this book cannot compete with the others at a technical level. It is still rough and unrefined.

But, according to Galatea...

As I thought, I don't know enough about manga to distinguish a good one from a bad one.

But I can tell when something is made with love.

It was the love of another that gave me life, so I recognize how precious it is.

And so, I can say this with absolute certainty:

As old and amateurish as this book may be, it was made with more love than any other book in this store.

That's why we chose it for our submission.

While I do not have the same certainty as Galatea, as a lover of the arts, I too can sense the passion that went into this book.

As such, I have no qualms about choosing it as the best one in this store.

Now, what is your verdict!?

Did you...know?

?

?

No? ...Hehe, it looks like it really was a coincidence. Well, I'll be damned. You got me good.

This is the very first doujin I ever drew. (Blushing)

Majireally!? I thought you were just a fan!

Boy, this takes me back. I didn't know the first thing about drawing, and I was so nervous I second-guessed every creative choice I made...

But even though I was just copying things from all the other books I'd read, my passion was so great that I couldn't put my pens down until I'd finished.

Yes, that's right. I put every bit of love I had into this book.

It marks the momentous turning point in my life when I went from just being a passive consumer to a creator in my own right.

(That would've been kind of touching if he hadn't gone on for so long...)

So, do we pass?

...Ahem. Yes, I suppose you do!

You did it, Galatea and Nero! You really came through!

All right! Sakusen success! Now I can finally go back to shopping for

However! I still have a lot more to say!

Isn't it pathetic that this decades-old derivative doujin of mine was made with the most love out of everything here?

It just goes to show that young artists today simply don't have the same kind of passion for doujin that they used to back in theHey, are you listening to me?

Anyway, as I was saying, it's great that young artists like yourselves have all gotten so good at drawing, but I can't help but feel that it's all just cold technique instead of drawing with the feelings that led to them wanting to create in the first place. I'm not saying no one should ever change genres, but if you go around chasing every new trend that pops up left and right

Waaah! Not another rant about the good old days! Onegai! I just want to go back to shopping!

(I have to think that would be better for our bankbooks, too...)

Welcome back, ladies!

Wrong.

Sorry?

I am an empress.

I am a grand duchess.

I-I see. I'm so very sorry for the mistake, um...

Empress, and Grand Duchess?

(Visibly satisfied)

So, um, are you both here on your own?

I'm afraid we're very busy right now, so we have to ask that you either wait until two tables open up...

...or that you sit together.

Hmm. We are here at the same time by coincidence, but this is not the first time we have met.

I suppose a grand duchess is qualified to sit at the same table as an empress, if only just.

As long as you do not fear my hand slipping and poisoning your tea, you may join me if you like.

Oh, I'm not worried. Not with Viy looking out for me.

If anything, I feel like I should apologize to you now in case I inadvertently end up turning your tea into sorbet.

Heh. That is quite all right. There are some poisons, such as fire coral, that burn like raging flame.

...Well, that is not to say fire coral is actually on fire. It simply makes you feel as though you were burning alive until it kills you.

Teehee...

(I have no idea if they're hitting it off or plotting each other's death...) V-very well then, Empress, Grand Duchess, right this way, please♪

It really is busy here, isn't it?

I see plenty of familiar faces as well. Hmph. Don't they have anything better to do?

...Are we really in a position to judge? (↑Nothing better to do)

Don't say it... (↑Nothing better to do)

Thanks, everyone♡ If you liked the show, please be sure to stick around for the next one in thirty minutes♪

That was amazing! Bravo! Well done!

I've never seen song and dance performed in such wonderfully frilly frocks before!

Coming here was the best decision I've made all week!

It WAS a lovely show, but I'm not sure it warranted a standing ovation...

Then again, I suppose there's nothing wrong with showing performers how much you appreciate their work.

I don't know. I have a feeling your standards for entertainment are a little low.

Oh, not to say those girls were bad or anything. I actually think they did a really good job, too.

Nnn. What do you expect, Pārvatī and serpent of the West? I love singing and dancing, but I've not seen much of either.

If you think I'm reacting too strongly, goddess of grace, then by all means, favor me with as much of your song and dance as you like.

After all, I've heard the stories of you "shaking your booty" in victory on top of Shiva after defeating

Th-that was Kālī, not me! I mean, I can't say I have nothing whatsoever to do with that, but still, it wasn't me!

No matter. You can just introduce me to someone else then. I know, what about Sarasvati, the goddess of music?

I thought I sensed something of her inside that, um...Leviathan(?) girl...

Surely you can bring the real thing here, not just a fragment, no? What do you say?

No, I can't. I'm sorry...

You just don't care who you get your entertainment fix from, do you? Knock it off. Pārvatī's got enough on her plate as it is.

Oh? Does that mean you're offering to take her place, then? That's fine with me; I'd be just as happy to see a Western goddess demonstrate her performing arts.

Ugh. You really are shameless, aren't you?

I guess we should just be glad she's not getting her kicks by getting in people's way anymore...

Let's see... I think I'll have a sandwich, a piece of cake... Oh, and I can't forget the lychee juice!

You don't mind, right, GranI mean, Sister Nite-Brite?

Hold it. When did I say this was to be my treat?

Aww, you mean it isn't? I guess not all grandparents love to spoil their grandchildren, then.

Too bad. I was really looking forward to this mini family reunion, too. (Sniff)

Oh come now. We may technically be family, but it is not as though we are related by blood.

Okay, I'll give up on the cake... And I guess I'll have to settle for the more basic sandwich, too...

(Twitching in frustration)

Oh, all right! I cannot stand to see an emperor's wife weeping over her lunch! Just order what you like!

I will show you just how generous the empress who united all of China can be!

Really? Yaaay! You're the best, Sister Nite-Brite! I love you!

Stop that! This is not about love! Now get off me, or I'll have you tortured for impropriety!

My imperial pride simply will not permit me to let my grandson's wife go hungry, no matter how irritating she might be.

That is all there is to this, nothing mo

Don't be silly, Sister! Torture doesn't suit this town, and it doesn't suit you anymore, either!

Now, on a different subject, did you look at this free Akihabara guide I picked up earlier? There's so much to see here!

Hmm, where should we go next? This store looks like it has lots of interesting manga, and I'd love to take home some of these cute cosplay outfits, too!

(Don't tell me she expects me to pay for those as well?)

Oh look, I think they're about to do another show! Ooh, this is such fun! All those pretty outfits and beautiful songs make me feel like I'm back in the palace again!

In fact, I'm enjoying myself so much I'm tempted to jump right in with them while we wait for our food!

You want to sing and dance alongside those girls? Don't do it.

Your talent for the performing arts is so great that you will shatter their confidence in their own skills and drive this café out of business.

Teehee, does that mean you like my performances then? I'm so glad to hear that!

Yes, well, my ability to accurately assess a person's talents served me well as empress. At any rate, the food is here now, so go on, eat up.

Ooh, I know. Why don't we take turns feeding each other?

It's okay for me to feed you, right, Sister?

Members of the palace household are supposed to take care of the emperor's (or empress's) every need, after all. Now go on, open wiiide.

Stop that, you fool! Where are your manners? You cannot just treat me as though I were your little sis(munch, munch)

(Eee! She's so cuuute!)

(...Looking around)

Welcome home, Master. Is this seat okay?

...No thanks. I'd prefer somewhere less conspicuous.

Huh? Okay then, right this way, please.

Now, if you'd like to have a private conversation with one of our maids, the rules for doing so are

No, no need for that.

All I want...(whispering) is a parfait.

I'm sorry?

You don't have to repeat my order back to me. This is a matter of both utmost secrecy and urgency.

I understand this is risky, since, a captain must maintain his dignity at all times, no matter the cost...

But when you live on a submarine, it's also essential to occasionally relieve stress and engage in self-care while on shore leave.

So please, keep this on the down-low.

O-okay... But, um, we're supposed to cast a charm on every parfait we serve to customers, so...

I appreciate the thought, but that won't be necessary either. I don't want to attract any kind of attention.

All I want, is a parfait. Please.

C-coming right up! (Why even bother to come HERE, then!?)

They do all seem to be enjoying themselves. What do you think of this place, Empress?

Heh, it is not bad. I appreciate that these maidservantswell, just maids, I supposeare so attentive.

Though they are better than my dour retainers, they are still a bit too ostentatious to wait on me in my throne room.

Here you are, Misser, Empress! One omurice filled with love♡

Very good. ...Yes? What is it?

The finishing touch! I'm going to cast a spell to imbue it with even more love so it tastes super-duper scrumptious♪

Behold the magic of Akiba! Looove...infusion♡

There, that should Um, is something wrong?

Heh... Hehe, hahahaha! I cannot believe you had the gall to cast a spell on my food right in front of me!

Terribly reckless of you. Had I sensed even a hint of ill will behind your spell, you would have died before the words left your lips.

Such spells are like poison. They are meant to be cast in the shadows, away from prying eyes.

Nonetheless, I must commend your bravery. Would you like to enter my service? Or perhaps become one of my doves?

Eep! U-um... Th-that's v-very kind of you, but, um...

It's okay. Don't mind her. You can go now.

O-okay... Well, um, enjoy your meal!

Hmph. I never thought she would turn down an invitation from me... Perhaps I should have left out the dove thing?

Beats me. Oh, hang on. Don't touch your omelet just yet. Here, get in closer.

Huh?

Go on, look at Viy.

...Oh, don't worry. He's not using his Mystic Eyes. I'm just going to have him take a picture with the camera I had installed on him. Go on, say "cheese."

There. Now I'll upload it to the cloud...title it "Lunch with a friend at a cute café"...and post it to Servantgram.

Oh wow, it already got a comment.

"Glad to see you're having fun. I hope I can join you on the next one."

Do you think it's meant for you? It was sent by "Your Friendly Neighborhood Priest."

H-how should I know!? Besides, I never gave you permission to use my likeness! Take that post down at once!