Section Four: To Australia? (2/2)

Aah!

Eek!

Oho! I haven't been this slim in ages!

Huh? No way. I'm

Big nooow!?

...The hell's going on here?

Gray, what happened to the young King Gilgamesh? He was standing right here a second ago.

R-right.

He left immediately before a Heroic Spirit resembling Ushiwakamaru came and bopped you with a strange mallet.

I'm sorry, Sir! I had no idea that mallet had such power.

I thought she was just playing a silly prank...

Maybe she thought she was, but as far as I'm concerned, this goes well beyond a prank.

Haha, quite the mess, isn't it!?

My, that does take me back!

？！

Everywhere you turn, there're Servants who've been turned bigger or smaller!

This is getting a lot worse as it goes on!

I see Medea's here too... And she's bigger now!? Crap!

All that aside, I wonder what all these Chaldean Servants are doing here to begin with.

First, we found Ladies Jeanne Alter and Santa Lily in France as though it were the most natural thing in the world for them to be there...

And now, Lady Mash tells us this beach we are on is somewhere in Australia!

Isn't that just how minute Singularities are? A bunch of Heroic Spirits always show up, shenanigans ensue.

Honestly, I'd bet for most of them, it just feels like some kind of drunken stupor dream.

Talk about a goddamn pain in the ass way to dream.

Well, this is definitely the stuff of nightmares.

It really sucks being shrunken and turned into...this, but it can't be easy being suddenly turned into a kid or an adult, either.

Hmmm.

Well, never mind that for now!

It looks like all these transformations only just happened, so Evil Ushiwaka should still be nearby!

Come on! The sooner we find her, the sooner we can stop her from doing any more damage!

Senpai, I'm seeing a magical energy signal up ahead! It seems to be the Mallet of Fortune activating!

!

What the hell!?

Wh-what happened to me!?

Whoa, check out my biceps! This is great!

Huh? Oh my, what happened to me?

Hmm. This would never happen to me under normal circumstances...

...but maybe I just underwent a sudden...shrinking spurt?

... ...

It looks like everyone who was transformed has a counterpart who underwent a similar but opposite transformation.

Well, everyone except you, Sir.

No surprise, seeing how there's only one of me. Dammit, why did I have to materialize with this infuriating Spirit Origin!?

Ugh, this is ridiculous!

I can't even tell who's who anymore, since nobody looks like they're supposed to!

This does seem to be just like the trouble Lady Jeanne Alter experienced, just on a larger scale.

Maybe I should keep my distance. I don't want that mallet anywhere near bopping distance of me.

Why? Scared we'll find out what you look like as an old hag?

C-come on, Cú, don't look at me like that. Even you can't get away with that!

Besides, I'm the eternal queen, the embodiment of beauty itself, right? I'd never get old.

If anything, I'm scared of being made younger.

I mean, a baby version of me would be absolutely adorable, but that's all I would be, right?

Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.

Hm? What's going on over there?

Hey guys, check this out!

Yes? What is it?

What's this about?

Did you figure out a way to turn us back to normal, Alexander!?

Nope. No idea.

Right. Of course.

But more importantly, I just had a thought!

(More importantly!?)

Remember how there were big and small versions of us all around this beach?

And now, thanks to that strange mallet, grown-ups have become kids and kids have become grown-ups.

Pretty cool, right!?

Oh yes, it's very cool!

Not to me it isn't!

I wouldn't mind staying like this, myself...

Well I sure as hell would!

N-now, now, let's just take it easy, okay? Getting worked up isn't going to solve anything.

So, um...

Hahaha, get to the point, won't you?

I can understand why you'd find this so entertaining, but you can't just voice every thought that crosses your mind, or we'll be here all day.

Go on, spit it out. What is it you want to do?

I wanna put this body through its paces!

Be more specific!

I want to fight!

Now you're talking!

No! Now you're NOT talking!

(Yikes, that was close. I almost got carried away and said, "Now you're talking!" myself.)

(Yes, that was much too close. This is definitely no time for frivolous antics!)

Now, now, don't worry. I'm sure those two are the only ones who would be interested in such a

I know what you mean. I can tell this Spirit Origin is even more skilled at magecraft than my own.

Honestly, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to see what it can really do.

I, um... I can also tell I have even stronger magical energy than usual in this body...

...and I think I might also like to put it through its paces.

Hehehe. You're right, that does sound like fun.

Besides, it's rare for us to get to experience real, observable growth like this.

Huh? Is that really how it is for Heroic Spirits?

Yes, it is. Though in my case, even before I was a Heroic Spirit, I was...

?

On second thought, never mind. My point is, now that we're all grown up, we should make the most of it!

B-but, this top barely covers anything, and it feels really weird looking exactly like my mother!

You both look beautiful, Illya. I'd love to see what you can do in that body.

Ulp. Well, in that case...

We'll just have to do our best to impress her, won't we?

Ahh, it's been so long since I've been this small. Everything old feels new again...

Am I really the only one here who wants to get back to normal as soon as possible!?

Like hell you are. I'm right there with you. Master! Give me a hand!

I want to calm these Servants down so we can figure out what's going on here!

？！

All right, let's do this! And Cú, I'm counting on you to back me up!

If I feel like it.

Ooh, you are just too cool!

I see. So that's what Celts consider cool...

And just what is that supposed to mean, Lord Jason!?

D-don't tell me you've got a thing for Celtic women?

Eeeeee! Medea's looking at me with Medea's face! DO something alreadyyy!

Hehehe... I'll say this for you, Jason.

You've got guts, saying that in front of me.

Eep...

Lord Jason is going pale! No, white as a sheet!

Then we have no time to lose! Let's have at them! Yaaah!

Oh no you don't, Mini Ushiwaka! You stay back and provide support! Now, come on, Master of Chaldea!

Aah!

Ow!

Eek

I-I mean, phew. I'm finally back to normal. Hmph...

"Eek!"

You all heard that, right?

I did indeed.

Yep.

I'm not sure.

？！

Oh, I'm back to normal too. Thank goodness.

All right, time for the next group!

Let's see... Who's up next, Professor El-Melloi? ...Hm? Where did he go?

O-oh, um, Sir said there was nothing he could do against this lineup...

...so he asked Master and me to handle this fight while he went over toward the Illya group.

I don't know what that's all about, but if he's not here, we'll just have to make do without him!

Aww, so the kid isn't here then?

Well, that's okay. We were just going to lay waste to everything in our path, anyway. Right, King of Conquerors!?

Oh yeah! It's conquering time!

I do think I'm a little young for this sort of thing...but if I'm going to walk this path eventually, I may as well start now!

No! Absolutely not! A Heroic Spirit shouldn't even be joking about things like that!

Now, now. We should be sympathetic to the unique situation some childer, young adult Heroic Spirits are in.

They symbolize the possibilities the future holds, even as they themselves lack any future at all.

We cannot deny the value in how they perceive the world.

If you say so.

Shut up. Let's fight.

Bring it!

Very well then, here I come!

When will you get it through your tiny head that you need to stay back and NOT rush headlong into battle!? (Sigh) Come on, Master, we'd better get to it, too!

Welp, we lost that one. I guess it just goes to show there are no shortcuts with this sort of thing.

That body had amazing power, but I wasn't able to make full use of it.

How was it for you?

Me? Well, I'd say it was more like revisiting a path I've already walked.

It was a nice trip down memory lane, but it didn't change anything about how I fight.

If anything, I was on pins and needles watching you nearly throw your life away out of sheer recklessness! Hahahaha!

Ouch. That hurts, but you're not wrong.

All right, only three yet remain! Let us go after them!

All women, huh.

That's right. There's Iri, who now looks like Sitonai; Illya, who now looks like Fire Iri...

...and Sitonai, who now looks like normal Iri.

That sounds awfully confusing!

Not at all, Mentor! It's simple! I'll just cut off all their heads, then it won't matter anymore!

Will you stop talking about beheading people!? Especially while you're in that form!?

The disconnect between your innocent, doll-like appearance and your sheer bloodlust is just unsettling!

(I understand, Lady Kiichi! Indeed, I know just what you mean!)

Oh good, you're here. That'll be a big help.

Sir!

I can see why they were the crown jewels of the Einzbern family. Even with Zhuge Liang's power, I'm simply no match for them.

Will you help me, Master?

Thank you!

Stop putting weird ideas in my head! This is not a class I want to teach!

？！

Waaah!

Aww, I'm back to normal.

Eek☆

There, we did it! Kanra kara kara!

Phew. It's about time.

Sir! What a relief!

It looks like everyone's been restored to their original forms. Way to go, Senpai!

Lady Illya, Lady Sitonai, Lady Irisviel.

This may sound like a strange question, but did you see a Heroic Spirit who looked like me?

Oh my, you're adorable. Are you some sort of doll?

Have you all been shrunken down too, though in a very different way than I was...?

Well, I couldn't say for sure whether she looked like you or not...

...but I did see a Heroic Spirit carrying a small wooden mallet.

I-I did, too!

Me too. She's not here anymore, though.

One moment, she was smacking us with that mallet, and the next, she'd run off.

Then we'll just have to track her down with the needle again. Dammit.

It's all right, Mentor. I won't let her get away next time.

Just you wait, Evil Ushiwaka! Soon, your head will be mine!

U-uh...right.

Y-yes, I suppose it will.

？！

Not you too, Master!? What's got you all so creeped out!?

Uh, the fact that you have zero hesitations about cutting off your own head? Haven't we been over this?

Hesitate? Why would I?

My job is to offer the enemy's head to my lord, regardless of who that enemy may be.

Even if it's your own head?

Of course!

Shaaanaaa-ohhh! For the hundredth time, this is EXACTLY what I've been talking about!

Ow, ow, ow! What was that for!?