Prologue

All right, let's get this interrogation started, shall we? You're gonna end up spilling the beans anyway, so I suggest you do so sooner rather than later, if you know what's good for you.

You've got it all wrong! I'm totally innocent! I really didn't do anything!

Ooh, does this mean I'll get to say the thing the data said was all the rage a while ago? Yay!

Hang on, just give me a second. ...Ahem.

Are you suuure about that?

Fou fo fo, fo fou fooou?

Huh? Why're you staring at me like that, Ma-chan!? You look like Lord Medjed, and it's freaking me out!

Really? You believe me, Ma-chan? Yatta! I knew I could count on you!

？！

But, if she really didn't do anything... then how did this happen?

True. This might be an incredibly minute case as far as these things go, but that doesn't mean we can overlook the threat it poses.

It could be some old skeleton in our figurative closet that needs to be aired out. Let's go over the data again.

I never thought I'd have to see this sight again...

No, seriously, why is it still there!? I thought it had already disappeared.

Oh yeah, that takes me back. It almost makes that place feel like home again♪

But why is it there at all? I thought it had disappeared some time ago.

？！

That's what we thought too... But for whatever reason, it's back now.

Still, like I said, it really is an incredibly minute Singularity.

It's probably some kind of aftershock from the Csejte Singularity, but that doesn't explain why it's showing up now.

At first I thought someone might have brought it back intentionally

I keep telling you, it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!

The thing is, we already interrogated Elisabeth and Cleopatra, and they both came out clean.

So if you don't have any idea what's going on either, well... I'm not sure what to try next.

...If there is no culprit to be found, perhaps you could try framing one.

And by culprit, you mean me, right!? I mean, who else could it be!?

Hahaha.

Yikes! I know he's only joking, but that still scared the jigoku out of me!

？！

If you don't mind, that'd be great.

But I'm afraid the Ortinax is still in maintenance, so I'm going to have Mash stay here and help me out instead.

I'm sorry I can't go with you this time, Senpai.

Okay, I see how it is. While I'd rather just hunker down in my room, I suppose I can go with you.

Besides, the idea of my old castle popping up out of nowhere like this is a little...no, make that really creepy!

Seriously, what's going on here?

If somebody's behind this, who could it be? I didn't think anyone besides us knew that castle existed...

If you're willing to go along with Senpai, Osakabehime, that would be a big relief. Thank you!

Oh, come to think of it, what about Director Goredolf and Sion? Should we let them know about this?

Hmm, in this case, I think we can just go ahead with it and ask them to sign off on it later.

They're both on break right now, and something tells me that involving them with this incident could finally push them off the edge.

I totally get that.

So since we know for sure this Singularity's not that dangerous, I'll take responsibility for the Rayshift.

All right guys, keep your wits about you, and I'll see you when you get back. Good luck!

You think? Well, I guess I do remember it pretty well.

Besides, putting everything else that happened then aside, this is still where you and I first met... Hehe.

？！

Looks like the Rayshift went off without a hitch.

Are you seeing anything unusual nearby, Osakabehime?

Hmm? I don't think so...

Wait! Ma-chan, over there! There's someone here!

Oh, it's you two.

？！

Fou fou!

Heh.

Of course I remember you. I never forget a customer's face. Long time no see.

If you do not remember me, let me remind you.

I own the epoch-making space retailer that ships anything anywhere in the Servantverse with a single click and in the blink of an eye. I am...

The Amazones.com!

CEO!

All right, let's get this interrogation started, shall we? If you're just gonna end up spilling the beans anyway, I suggest you do so sooner rather than later, if you know what's good for you.

You've got it all wrong! I'm totally innocent! I really didn't do anything!

Huh? Why're you staring at me like that, Ma-chan!? You look like Lord Medjed, and it's freaking me out!

Really? You believe me, Ma-chan? Yatta! I knew I could count on you!

？！

But, if she really didn't do anything... then how did this happen?

True. This might be an incredibly minute case as far as these things go, but that doesn't mean we can overlook the threat it poses.

It could be some old skeleton in our figurative closet that needs to be aired out. Let's go over the data again.

I never thought I'd have to see this sight again...

No, seriously, why is it still there!? I thought it had already disappeared.

Oh yeah, that takes me back. It almost makes that place feel like home again♪

But why is it there at all? I thought it had disappeared some time ago.

？！

That's what we thought too... But for whatever reason, it's back now.

Still, like I said, it really is an incredibly minute Singularity.

It's probably some kind of aftershock from the Csejte Singularity, but that doesn't explain why it's showing up now.

At first I thought someone might have brought it back intentionally

I keep telling you, it wasn't me! I didn't do anything!

The thing is, we already interrogated Elisabeth and Cleopatra, and they both came out clean.

So if you don't have any idea what's going on either, well... I'm not sure what to try next.

...If there is no culprit to be found, perhaps you could try framing one.

And by culprit, you mean me, right!? I mean, who else could it be!?

Hahaha.

Yikes! I know he's only joking, but that still scared the jigoku out of me!

？！

If you don't mind, that'd be great.

The only problem is, Mash has a big physical exam coming up that she really can't miss, so she won't be able to go with you.

But she can still help me out here, so that's exactly what I'm going to have her do.

I'm sorry I can't go with you this time, Senpai.

Okay, I see how it is. While I'd rather just hunker down in my room, I suppose I can go with you.

Besides, the idea of my old castle popping up out of nowhere like this is a little...no, make that really creepy!

Seriously, what's going on here?

If somebody's behind this, who could it be? I didn't think anyone besides us knew that castle existed...

If you're willing to go along with Senpai, Osakabehime, that would be a big relief. Thank you!

All right guys, keep your wits about you, and I'll see you when you get back. Good luck!

You think? Well, I guess I do remember it pretty well.

Besides, putting everything else that happened then aside, this is still where you and I first met... Hehe.

？！

Looks like the Rayshift went off without a hitch.

Are you seeing anything unusual nearby, Osakabehime?

Hmm? I don't think so...

Wait! Ma-chan, over there! There's someone here!

Oh, it's you two.

？！

Fou fou!

Heh.

Of course I remember you. I never forget a customer's face. Long time no see.

If you do not remember me, let me remind you.

I own the epoch-making space retailer that ships anything anywhere in the Servantverse with a single click and in the blink of an eye. I am...

The Amazones.com!

CEO!

The CEO of Amazones!? What are you doing here!?

Oh, it's you. Thank you for using Amazones.com.

Uh, I wouldn't say it's THAT constant.

I know I bought a lot of stuff when I was living here, but your site doesn't load consistently for me in Chaldea.

It doesn't? I haven't seen any reports about connectivity issues... The website team must be slacking off. I'll have to see that they're severely disciplined.

Hmm. I knew about her from the database, but it's very different seeing her in person. She's just like in my big me's notes.

They said she's another one of those mysterious heroine types you're not supposed to think too hard about, and it looks like they were right on the money.

I remember you very well too, Ms. CEO.

So, um... May I ask what brings you here?

Yeah, did someone else order something from you guys?

Hmm...

I'm afraid the answer to that inquiry is somewhat complicated.

Normally, I would invite you all to my prized conference room, where I could give you a proper presentation complete with CounterPoint slides...

...but under the current circumstances, I'm afraid the best I can do is provide a verbal rundown.

？！

You see...I'm grappling with something of an issue at the moment.

You could even say this is something of a company-wide crisis.

What seems to be the prob

Every last one of my prized Amazones employees...

...is gone!

？！

Welp, guess another dot-com bites the dust.

I-I'm sorry, when you say "gone," what exactly do you mean?

Exactly what I said. They're gone. I have no idea where they went, and I've had no luck contacting them.

It's not that! I'm certain they're neither striking, nor defecting to another company!

I've always been gracious enough to let them rest until they wake up whenever they collapsed from exhaustion!

What more could they possibly want out of our perfect employee welfare program!?

It's not that! I'm certain they're neither striking, nor defecting to another company!

Amazones.com has never failed to provide its employees with the most valuable compensation there is: the satisfaction of a job well done!

？！

Yikes! I've heard of toxic workplaces before, but yours takes the cake!

Oh, please don't misunderstand.

Both myself and my employees receive gratitude from satisfied customers in the form of magical energy particles...

...which we then convert into the resources we need to operate as Servants.

Rest assured, my employees are well compensated, and their working conditions up to code.

Oh, really?

Incidentally, we've received a great deal of gratitude energy from the Servants on this rustic planet as well.

Thank you for your continued patronage!

I swear, I never know how seriously to take anything having to do with the Servantverse...

This may have been the work of some nefarious corporate headhunter.

I certainly have no end of rival companies bereft of good PR who view Amazones.com's explosive growth with envy.

It always feels like no sooner has my CEO Morning Star dried than I have to go and get it wet again.

I'm just going to try not to think too hard about what that means...

It means I go around beating my rival companies to dea

？！

So you figured your employees were being held captive somewhere then?

Right. Every Amazon who works for me is a fearsome warrior, capable of withstanding the most arduous delivery loads.

I cannot imagine they would be easily beaten in battle, but I also cannot think of any other explanation for this strange incident.

So I have been looking for them even as I continued to make my own deliveries, but to no avail.

But then, I was struck by a brilliant, innovative insight.

Since this incident is so strange, I would never find my employees by looking for them anywhere normal.

By definition, strange incidents occur in strange places.

And as far as I know, this building right here is the strangest place in the entire galaxy.

So I used an old order slip to track down its location and came here in search of my employees.

It wasn't me! Really, I didn't even know this place was here until a little while ago.

Though I guess it's possible somebody else could have used my old castle to keep your employees prisoner.

I already searched the entire interior, but unfortunately my employees were nowhere to be found here, either.

I'm not picking up anything on our instruments, either. Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle is definitely deserted now.

To be honest, I'm at a loss as to what to do next. I haven't been in such a tight spot since that hostile takeover bid I received from a rival fishing goods company back when I first founded Amazones.

I managed to get out of that dilemma with a CEO Morning Star that was twice as heavy as my normal one...

Hey, are we sure the "CEO" in her title doesn't stand for "Chief Execution Officer"?

But I cannot use that same solution to find my employees. And there are only so many deliveries I can make on my own.

At this point, our delivery pipeline is severely bottlenecked, and Amazones.com may never recover from this hit to its reputation.

The only way to salvage this is to find my employees ASAP, or to employ others in their stea

...(Staaare)

？！

I've got it. I have sworn never to resort to outsourcing, but the only constant in this world is change.

And being able to flexibly adapt to the needs of the times is the mark of a first-rate CEO.

Which brings me to my next question: Would any of you be interested in becoming official Amazones.com delivery person subcontractors?

As I recall, you have a giant robot on hand, correct? The one whose ownership remains unclear?

It doesn't have to be the giant robot, of course. Any delivery person capable of flying and atmospheric entry would be a precious Servant resource.

Huh? Well, sure, I guess we have more than our share of people with pretty high mobility.

Though I just want to repair this Singularity hayafast so I can get back to my room as soon as

Yeah, about that. Could I talk to you guys in private for a bit?

？！

Based on everything she told us, I have a feeling she might actually be the core of this minute Singularity.

It's entirely possible that she didn't come to this Singularity to look for her employees...

...but rather that the only reason this Singularity even exists is because her coming here to look for her employees energized its remnants.

Besides, Servants like her have an unusual causality about them. It's like they just naturally attract trouble.

So, um, what is it you're trying to say?

This is only a theory on my part, but I have a feeling this minute Singularity is directly tied to her goal of finding her employees.

That's probably why it exists in the first place.

So what I'm trying to say...

...is that this minute Singularity will probably not go away until her problem is resolved.

Majireally!?

At this point, I don't think it'll disappear even if she were to leave.

So yeah, I think this is the only way to take care of it neatly, without any leftover distortions.

You will? Wonderful. Then our first order of business is to resume delivery operations.

I appreciate that. But before we can do that, we need to take care of all these deliveries that have piled up.

？！

It will not do to find my employees if the company goes under and they have no jobs to return to.

Huh, that's really decent of you. You're a good company president, aren't you?

I am not the president! I am the CEO! It stands forWell, I will tell you what it stands for some other time. And not any time soon.

At any rate, we can look for my employees while we make our deliveries.

With luck, we may well end up finding them that way, and even if we don't, we could still find a lead that points us in the right direction.

Good point. I'll make sure to collect as much information as I can.

Now, before we finalize our contract, there is one last thing I need to take care of.

Ulp. I've got a yabad feeling about this...

Amazones.com may still be a startup, but it is also one of the finest companies in the galaxy.

So if you are going to be my first subcontractors, I need to make sure your performance is up to snuff.

Which means...you'll need to first pass my training program-slash-interview!

I knew it!

And just so you know, delivery work is serious business.

Every Amazones.com delivery person needs to be ready to accept any kind of order at a moment's notice and deliver it to anywhere in the galaxy.

Anyone lacking in either capability or mental fortitude who attempts to complete this task...

Will die.

Fou!?

The most important capability a delivery person needs is stamina! The second most important is also stamina! That goes for the third, fourth, and fifth capabilities as well!

So I will personally test you to see whether you have what it takes to be a delivery person.

For if you cannot withstand my morning star, you will never be able to withstand an entitled customer's complaints!

And with that...let the training program begin!!!

The CEO of Amazones!? What are you doing here!?

Oh, it's you. Thank you for using Amazones.com.

Uh, I wouldn't say it's THAT constant.

I know I bought a lot of stuff when I was living here, but your site doesn't load consistently for me in Chaldea.

It doesn't? I haven't seen any reports about connectivity issues... The website team must be slacking off. I'll have to see that they're severely disciplined.

I remember you very well, Ms. CEO.

So, um... May I ask what brings you here?

Yeah, did someone else order something from you guys?

Hmm...

I'm afraid the answer to that inquiry is somewhat complicated.

Normally, I would invite you all to my prized conference room, where I could give you a proper presentation complete with CounterPoint slides...

...but under the current circumstances, I'm afraid the best I can do is provide a verbal rundown.

？！

You see...I'm grappling with something of an issue at the moment.

You could even say this is something of a company-wide crisis.

What seems to be the prob

Every last one of my prized Amazones employees...

...is gone!

？！

Welp, guess another dot-com bites the dust.

I-I'm sorry, when you say "gone," what exactly do you mean?

Exactly what I said. They're gone. I have no idea where they went, and I've had no luck contacting them.

It's not that! I'm certain they're neither striking, nor defecting to another company!

I've always been gracious enough to let them rest until they wake up whenever they collapsed from exhaustion!

What more could they possibly want out of our perfect employee welfare program!?

It's not that! I'm certain they're neither striking, nor defecting to another company!

Amazones.com has never failed to provide its employees with the most valuable compensation there is: the satisfaction of a job well done!

？！

Yikes! I've heard of toxic workplaces before, but yours takes the cake!

Oh, please don't misunderstand.

Both myself and my employees receive gratitude from satisfied customers in the form of magical energy particles...

...which we then convert into the resources we need to operate as Servants.

Rest assured, my employees are well compensated, and their working conditions up to code.

Oh, really?

Incidentally, we've received a great deal of gratitude energy from the Servants on this rustic planet as well.

Thank you for your continued patronage!

I swear, I never know how seriously to take anything having to do with the Servantverse...

This may have been the work of some nefarious corporate headhunter.

I certainly have no end of rival companies bereft of good PR who view Amazones.com's explosive growth with envy.

It always feels like no sooner has my CEO Morning Star dried than I have to go and get it wet again.

I'm just going to try not to think too hard about what that means...

It means I go around beating my rival companies to dea

？！

So you figured your employees were being held captive somewhere then?

Right. Every Amazon who works for me is a fearsome warrior, capable of withstanding the most arduous delivery loads.

I cannot imagine they would be easily beaten in battle, but I also cannot think of any other explanation for this strange incident.

So I have been looking for them even as I continued to make my own deliveries, but to no avail.

But then, I was struck by a brilliant, innovative insight.

Since this incident is so strange, I would never find my employees by looking for them anywhere normal.

By definition, strange incidents occur in strange places.

And as far as I know, this building right here is the strangest place in the entire galaxy.

So I used an old order slip to track down its location and came here in search of my employees.

It wasn't me! Really, I didn't even know this place was here until a little while ago.

Though I guess it's possible somebody else could have used my old castle to keep your employees prisoner.

I already searched the entire interior, but unfortunately my employees were nowhere to be found here, either.

I'm not picking up anything on our instruments, either. Csejte Pyramid Himeji Castle is definitely deserted now.

To be honest, I'm at a loss as to what to do next. I haven't been in such a tight spot since that hostile takeover bid I received from a rival fishing goods company back when I first founded Amazones.

I managed to get out of that dilemma with a CEO Morning Star that was twice as heavy as my normal one...

Hey, are we sure the "CEO" in her title doesn't stand for "Chief Execution Officer"?

But I cannot use that same solution to find my employees. And there are only so many deliveries I can make on my own.

At this point, our delivery pipeline is severely bottlenecked, and Amazones.com may never recover from this hit to its reputation.

The only way to salvage this is to find my employees ASAP, or to employ others in their stea

...(Staaare)

？！

I've got it. I have sworn never to resort to outsourcing, but the only constant in this world is change.

And being able to flexibly adapt to the needs of the times is the mark of a first-rate CEO.

Which brings me to my next question: Would any of you be interested in becoming official Amazones.com delivery person subcontractors?

As I recall, you have a giant robot on hand, correct? The one whose ownership remains unclear?

It doesn't have to be the giant robot, of course. Any delivery person capable of flying and atmospheric entry would be a precious Servant resource.

Huh? Well, sure, I guess we have more than our share of people with pretty high mobility.

Though I just want to repair this Singularity hayafast so I can get back to my room as soon as

Yeah, about that. Could I talk to you guys in private for a bit?

？！

Based on everything she told us, I have a feeling she might actually be the core of this minute Singularity.

It's entirely possible that she didn't come to this Singularity to look for her employees...

...but rather that the only reason this Singularity even exists is because her coming here to look for her employees energized its remnants.

Besides, Servants like her have an unusual causality about them. It's like they just naturally attract trouble.

So, um, what is it you're trying to say?

This is only a theory on my part, but I have a feeling this minute Singularity is directly tied to her goal of finding her employees.

That's probably why it exists in the first place.

So what I'm trying to say...

...is that this minute Singularity will probably not go away until her problem is resolved.

Majireally!?

At this point, I don't think it'll disappear even if she were to leave.

So yeah, I think this is the only way to take care of it neatly, without any leftover distortions.

You will? Wonderful. Then our first order of business is to resume delivery operations.

I appreciate that. But before we can do that, we need to take care of all these deliveries that have piled up.

？！

It will not do to find my employees if the company goes under and they have no jobs to return to.

Huh, that's really decent of you. You're a good company president, aren't you?

I am not the president! I am the CEO! It stands forWell, I will tell you what it stands for some other time. And not any time soon.

At any rate, we can look for my employees while we make our deliveries.

With luck, we may well end up finding them that way, and even if we don't, we could still find a lead that points us in the right direction.

Good point. I'll make sure to collect as much information as I can.

Now, before we finalize our contract, there is one last thing I need to take care of.

Ulp. I've got a yabad feeling about this...

Amazones.com may still be a startup, but it is also one of the finest companies in the galaxy.

So if you are going to be my first subcontractors, I need to make sure your performance is up to snuff.

Which means...you'll need to first pass my training program-slash-interview!

I knew it!

And just so you know, delivery work is serious business.

Every Amazones.com delivery person needs to be ready to accept any kind of order at a moment's notice and deliver it to anywhere in the galaxy.

Anyone lacking in either capability or mental fortitude who attempts to complete this task...

Will die.

Fou!?

The most important capability a delivery person needs is stamina! The second most important is also stamina! That goes for the third, fourth, and fifth capabilities as well!

So I will personally test you to see whether you have what it takes to be a delivery person.

For if you cannot withstand my morning star, you will never be able to withstand an entitled customer's complaints!

And with that...let the training program begin!!!

Guuuh, I'm exhaaausted.

I don't blame you. I'm exhausted just from watching it...

Good, you pass. Indeed, I'm impressed that you're still able to stand after such a rigorous exam.

I believe you said your company name is Chaldea?

Then welcome to Amazones.com, Chaldea. You are now officially our very first subcontractor. I'll make sure your logo is added to our website's list of partner companies.

So, now that that's settled, what exactly is this job going to entail?

Hehehe. Worry not. I know what you're thinking. You want to know if this collaboration will be...

Win-Win!

...for both of our companies, right? Not a problem.

At Amazones.com, our outsourcers are nothing less than an extension of our corporate body. Now that the figurative ink on our agreement is dry, you and I are practically family or comrades in arms.

As such, I will ensure that your working environment is pristine, and I will match Amazones.com's prized ambitious workflow to match yours.

Rest assured that these will be the best working conditions in the galaxy; conditions that will empower all of you to do your jobs safely and securely, to enjoy doing them, and to enjoy a sense of fulfillment from them.

Now then, to begin with...

I think I will make this building into my new Amazones.com branch office, since no one appears to be using it.

Oh yeah, that makes sense...

Wait. Nani!?

Fou...

That's for sure.

I can see why you've gotten in the habit of praying whenever autumn rolls around.

So that's why he always gets this strangely sublime look of enlightenment on his face during Halloween season...

？！

There you are. Good. Everything is now ready.

Um... Just to make double sure, did you really renovate the entire interior of that building in the short time since we last spoke?

Yes, I did. Our technological acumen has had to constantly innovate to keep pace with the times, which made this task trivial.

Now then, I would like to make double sure of something as well. I believe you said there would be no issues with any rights holders, correct?

As I'm sure it goes without saying, we take IP rights very seriously. You will never find any pirated versions of anything on Amazones.com.

Personally, I'm not sure how much rights figure into a building in a Singularity...

...but everyone who seemed like they might have some claim to themnamely, Osakabehime, Cleopatra, and Elisabethwere all happy to give theirs away to help Master with his mission.

Ahahaha! What's going on with that!? That's the funniest work of architecture I've ever seen!

Look at it, Lord Apollo! It's got buildings on top of buildings on top of buildings!

And who are you?

Oh, I'm just your friendly neighborhood old man, and this here's my little brother. We're here to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Hey, you guys are sure this isn't gonna be a problem, right? This newly developed Eau d'Anti-Greek deodorant IS working, right?

When I heard we were dealing with a certain CEO, and that it's possible that, um, quirk of hers might be the same or even worse than the Amazon we know...

Well, it's kind of freaking this old man out more than I might let on, you know?

？！

... ...

... ...

Hmm. You two seem vaguely familiar... That's right. I remember now.

...!

Aren't you two the Shining Helmet and Little Angelic Devil of Planet Troy?

No, never mind. There's no way those two could be here now. You must just happen to resemble them, or be from another season.

(Gaaah, that was way too close for comfort! I seriously thought my heart was gonna give out!)

Then since this is our first time meeting, allow me to introduce myself properly. I am the CEO of Amazones.com. Here is my business card. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintances.

Oh, yeah, same here. Sorry I don't have a card myself; I'm just not important enough for that sort of thing.

Besides, I'm only here 'cause they thought it'd be a good idea to have someone who knows how to negotiate around.

I told them there's any number of other Servants who could talk circles around me, but they still insisted on me for some reason...

Well, we're not trying to "win" these negotiations, which means the professor, Holmes, Caesar, and the other usual suspects wouldn't be a good fit.

I just want you to make sure this'll be an environment we can reasonably help out in, and to give us the green or red light accordingly.

Well, that, and I also thought having you around might help things go more smoothly. You know, in case we run into any, um, trouble with our new business partner.

I mean, I do get that the CEO there isn't the same person as the one you guys know, but still.

You know, that reminds me. What is Chaldea's Penthesilea doing right now?

Well, I know I'm just making more problems for future me to deal with, but I didn't want her running into Achill

"Achill"?

(Ah crap! She's got the same hair trigger for his name as the other one!)

Oh, you know, I was just saying we could make "a killing" from this collaboration if it goes off without a hitch.

But for that to happen, there's a certain queen we don't want accidentally running into either a particular green-haired jerkface or another version of herself.

So I managed to convince her that this is the perfect season for working out indoors, and that she could actually double her gains if she never leaves her room.

I'd imagine she's probably taking that advice to heart and working her abs right about now.

I see... Thank you for being so considerate.

Ah, don't worry about it. I just did what had to be done.

So, PenI mean, Ms. CEO, could we ask you to show us the inside of the building now?

Very well, little boy who strongly resembles Little Angelic Devil.

You know, not that it really matters either way, but I kind of feel like you ought to pick one or the other?

Come with me. I will start by showing you around Amazones.com's prized warehouse.

？！

Fooou!

Wooow! Look at that, Big Brother! There're shelves as far as the eye can see here!

Well damn, this place IS impressive.

But try not to get too worked up, Paris. We're not here on a field trip, you know.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry...

Oh, that's quite all right.

After all, this is the heart of Amazones.com. We don't just deliver goods; we also deliver dreams.

It's perfectly understandable that children would jump for joy upon seeing all the many varieties of dream we keep in stock. In fact, something would be very wrong if they didn't.

Um, could I ask you something? No matter how I run the numbers, I don't see any way that this castle should be able to hold this much merchandise...

It's probably a spatial distortion spell, or some kind of technology we haven't discovered yet.

I'm really curious about how they pulled this off too, but we'll never get anywhere if we stop to pick apart every inexplicable thing... But man, I really do wanna know how they did this!

As our subcontractor, I'm happy and willing to cooperate with you in every regard, but I hope you can understand that we must reserve the right to keep some corporate matters trade secrets.

It's all about security, and risk management.

Now, as for what the work entails, when an order comes in, you will need to collect the products from this warehouse, pack them, and ship them.

It must take forever to find anything in a warehouse this massive.

Not at all. As a matter of fact, every product we carry has been stocked completely at random.

Our system uses barcodes to keep perfect track of every product's location, thus eliminating the need to sort them.

As employees, all you need to do is go to the specified shelf and take the specified amount of product.

This is the innovation upon which we have staked Amazones.com's future... The Random Stow System!

Now I get it. That sounds like something even I could do without messing up!

When making deliveries, you will use Amazones.com portals to warp to the gate nearest the delivery area...

...but from there, it will generally be up to each delivery person to determine their route to the customer.

You will be free to walk, drive, or ride that sheep for all I care. All that matters is getting the order to the customer, intergalactic traffic regulations be damned.

If anyone does try to give you trouble over an ostensible traffic violation, just show them your Amazones.com employee badge and it will usually work out.

That is exactly the sort of thing for which I pay such exorbitant corporate tax.

Besides, they know what will happen if they try to criticize an upstanding corporate citizen for exercising her gods-given rights as a taxpayer.

Specifically, what will happen is a morning star right to their heads. One with extra painful spikes.

Well, if everyone's free to choose their own method of transportation, that makes things nice and simple.

We've got a good number of Servants who can drive and fly and stuff, and they're not even all Riders.

That being said, I urge you all to remain vigilant.

The Amazones.com portals may get you most of the way there, but there is no telling what may await you on the remainder of your delivery route.

You may run into an enormous man-eating beast or need to make your way through a forest of death.

Other times, you may land on a planet with atmospheric pressures a thousand times greater than your own, or a gas giant that is almost completely uninhabited.

As I said during your training, anyone who fails to take this job seriously will die.

You may be Servants powerful enough to defeat a thousand soldiers on your own...

...but without enough gratitude energy, you will find yourselves utterly drained after but a single delivery.

Which is where this comes in!

？！

Amazones.com isn't content to sit around waiting for the rest of the galaxy to agree on workplace reforms.

We are undergoing constant evolution in order to better facilitate synergistic employee satisfaction.

Now, as our first subcontractors, I will make a special exception and grant you access to these facilities as well.

...Besides, they won't do any of my other employees any good, what with all of them still missing.

At any rate, forget employee welfare. What I am about to show you is nothing less than an employee paradise!

Right this way.

？！

Fou fo!?

Hmm. I can tell this place is also connected to the warehouse through, um, dubious spatial distortion means, but what exactly is it?

These are my company's prized comprehensive relaxation facilities. All Amazones.com employees are free to make use of them twenty-four hours a day.

They include a spacious hot spring bath complete with sauna, luxurious massage chairs, power nap beds, an arcade...

...and a food court-style group dining space staffed by first-class chefs.

As I alluded to earlier, this is a paradise designed to empower our employees to quickly get the R & R they need before sending them back to the war zone that is the delivery person's route.

I call it...The Great Amazones Hot Spring Story!

？！

Right. I've read about these in the database.

It said wellness resorts are general relaxation facilities from the late twentieth century where people could enjoy good food and soak in rejuvenating baths.

They were often used for business retreats as a place for corporate warriors to come together and recuperate from the stresses of the modern-day workplace.

I don't know how facilities such as these are commonly referred to on this planet, but this is indeed a place for warriors to come together.

It also ensures those warriors who come here stay healthy, one way or another.

Even a warrior on the brink of death from injuries sustained during an especially arduous delivery will be back on their feet and raring to go on a new route after one day spent here undergoing intensive recuperation.

Oh, I get it. So it's like recycling, but for people instead of plastics!

You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut at times like these, Paris.

How could you say that, Big Brother!?

Anyway, this place does look like a real sweet getup.

With all this space, and all the different things to do, I think even Chaldea's surprisingly expansive Servant roster ought to be able to kick back and relax here.

Well if you like it, that's plenty good enough for me!

I was always kind of anxious about being able to defend Troy back during the war...

...but you always said things would work out, and you were right. We managed to keep it safe for a really long time.

So I trust your opinion more than anyone else's!

Thanks, Paris, but ultimately, this isn't my call. Whether we go through with this, or not, is up to Master.

So, Master, what do you say?

？！

Fou fooou!

You got it, Master. If that's your call, I'll do everything I can to help.

All right then, let's get this whole delivery operation started.

I agree. I think this will be the cleanest way to resolve this minute Singularity.

It may not be much, but I promise to help in whatever way I can, too. This could be an excellent chance to learn what it takes to be an office worker at a major online retailer!

Okay, Fujimaru, if this is what you think is best, I'm prepared to support you all the way.

That said, we've never done delivery work before, and there's bound to be new, unforeseen challenges we don't have much experience with, so we'll need to be careful.

We'll probably want to assign Servants to deliveries based on their mobility as well as their fighting prowess.

So Riders will probably be our biggest asset. Then again, a lot of non-Rider Servants have all sorts of vehicles at their command, too...

Hmm, there's definitely a lot to consider here.

Being mobile isn't really my thing, so is it okay if I go back to being a shut-in now?

So every Servant in Chaldea is going to work together to handle these deliveries, right?

That kind of sounds like a festival! This is gonna be fun!

I don't know about fun; sounds more like a lot of hard work to me. Oh well, guess I'll just have to make sure I don't work TOO hard.

Anyway, you said you're gonna stick with the CEO, right, Master? In that case, Osakabehime ought to be all the security detail you need.

After all, there won't be much need for a bunch of us to cover a lot of ground this time.

I get the feeling this is all gonna come down to the number of Servants who can get around independently, and how light they are on their feet.

That means we're going to do the best we can to make deliveries too, right? Yay! I can't wait to get started!

So you just need me to be a bodyguard then? Sure, I can do that.

(So I can just let the CEO handle the front line and focus on keeping Ma-chan safe? Easy as pie!)

？！

Fou...

That's for sure.

I can see why you've gotten in the habit of praying whenever autumn rolls around.

So that's why he always gets this strangely sublime look of enlightenment on his face during Halloween season...

？！

There you are. Good. Everything is now ready.

Um... Just to make double sure, did you really renovate the entire interior of that building in the short time since we last spoke?

Yes, I did. Our technological acumen has had to constantly innovate to keep pace with the times, which made this task trivial.

Now then, I would like to make double sure of something as well. I believe you said there would be no issues with any rights holders, correct?

As I'm sure it goes without saying, we take IP rights very seriously. You will never find any pirated versions of anything on Amazones.com.

Personally, I'm not sure how much rights figure into a building in a Singularity...

...but everyone who seemed like they might have some claim to themnamely, Osakabehime, Cleopatra, and Elisabethwere all happy to give theirs away to help Master with his mission.

Ahahaha! What's going on with that!? That's the funniest work of architecture I've ever seen!

Look at it, Lord Apollo! It's got buildings on top of buildings on top of buildings!

And who are you?

Oh, I'm just your friendly neighborhood old man, and this here's my little brother. We're here to make sure everything goes smoothly.

Hey, you guys are sure this isn't gonna be a problem, right? This newly developed Eau d'Anti-Greek deodorant IS working, right?

When I heard we were dealing with a certain CEO, and that it's possible that, um, quirk of hers might be the same or even worse than the Amazon we know...

Well, it's kind of freaking this old man out more than I might let on, you know?

？！

... ...

... ...

Hmm. You two seem vaguely familiar... That's right. I remember now.

...!

Aren't you two the Shining Helmet and Little Angelic Devil of Planet Troy?

No, never mind. There's no way those two could be here now. You must just happen to resemble them, or be from another season.

(Gaaah, that was way too close for comfort! I seriously thought my heart was gonna give out!)

Then since this is our first time meeting, allow me to introduce myself properly. I am the CEO of Amazones.com. Here is my business card. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintances.

Oh, yeah, same here. Sorry I don't have a card myself; I'm just not important enough for that sort of thing.

Besides, I'm only here 'cause they thought it'd be a good idea to have someone who knows how to negotiate around.

I told them there's any number of other Servants who could talk circles around me, but they still insisted on me for some reason...

Well, we're not trying to "win" these negotiations, which means the professor, Holmes, Caesar, and the other usual suspects wouldn't be a good fit.

I just want you to make sure this'll be an environment we can reasonably help out in, and to give us the green or red light accordingly.

Well, that, and I also thought having you around might help things go more smoothly. You know, in case we run into any, um, trouble with our new business partner.

I mean, I do get that the CEO there isn't the same person as the one you guys know, but still.

You know, that reminds me. What is Chaldea's Penthesilea doing right now?

Well, I know I'm just making more problems for future me to deal with, but I didn't want her running into Achill

"Achill"?

(Ah crap! She's got the same hair trigger for his name as the other one!)

Oh, you know, I was just saying we could make "a killing" from this collaboration if it goes off without a hitch.

But for that to happen, there's a certain queen we don't want accidentally running into either a particular green-haired jerkface or another version of herself.

So I managed to convince her that this is the perfect season for working out indoors, and that she could actually double her gains if she never leaves her room.

I'd imagine she's probably taking that advice to heart and working her abs right about now.

I see... Thank you for being so considerate.

Ah, don't worry about it. I just did what had to be done.

So, PenI mean, Ms. CEO, could we ask you to show us the inside of the building now?

Very well, little boy who strongly resembles Little Angelic Devil.

You know, not that it really matters either way, but I kind of feel like you ought to pick one or the other?

Come with me. I will start by showing you around Amazones.com's prized warehouse.

？！

Fooou!

Wooow! Look at that, Big Brother! There're shelves as far as the eye can see here!

Well damn, this place IS impressive.

But try not to get too worked up, Paris. We're not here on a field trip, you know.

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry...

Oh, that's quite all right.

After all, this is the heart of Amazones.com. We don't just deliver goods; we also deliver dreams.

It's perfectly understandable that children would jump for joy upon seeing all the many varieties of dream we keep in stock. In fact, something would be very wrong if they didn't.

Um, could I ask you something? No matter how I run the numbers, I don't see any way that this castle should be able to hold this much merchandise...

It's probably a spatial distortion spell, or some kind of technology we haven't discovered yet.

I'm really curious about how they pulled this off too, but we'll never get anywhere if we stop to pick apart every inexplicable thing... But man, I really do wanna know how they did this!

As our subcontractor, I'm happy and willing to cooperate with you in every regard, but I hope you can understand that we must reserve the right to keep some corporate matters trade secrets.

It's all about security, and risk management.

Now, as for what the work entails, when an order comes in, you will need to collect the products from this warehouse, pack them, and ship them.

It must take forever to find anything in a warehouse this massive.

Not at all. As a matter of fact, every product we carry has been stocked completely at random.

Our system uses barcodes to keep perfect track of every product's location, thus eliminating the need to sort them.

As employees, all you need to do is go to the specified shelf and take the specified amount of product.

This is the innovation upon which we have staked Amazones.com's future... The Random Stow System!

Now I get it. That sounds like something even I could do without messing up!

When making deliveries, you will use Amazones.com portals to warp to the gate nearest the delivery area...

...but from there, it will generally be up to each delivery person to determine their route to the customer.

You will be free to walk, drive, or ride that sheep for all I care. All that matters is getting the order to the customer, intergalactic traffic regulations be damned.

If anyone does try to give you trouble over an ostensible traffic violation, just show them your Amazones.com employee badge and it will usually work out.

That is exactly the sort of thing for which I pay such exorbitant corporate tax.

Besides, they know what will happen if they try to criticize an upstanding corporate citizen for exercising her gods-given rights as a taxpayer.

Specifically, what will happen is a morning star right to their heads. One with extra painful spikes.

Well, if everyone's free to choose their own method of transportation, that makes things nice and simple.

We've got a good number of Servants who can drive and fly and stuff, and they're not even all Riders.

That being said, I urge you all to remain vigilant.

The Amazones.com portals may get you most of the way there, but there is no telling what may await you on the remainder of your delivery route.

You may run into an enormous man-eating beast or need to make your way through a forest of death.

Other times, you may land on a planet with atmospheric pressures a thousand times greater than your own, or a gas giant that is almost completely uninhabited.

As I said during your training, anyone who fails to take this job seriously will die.

You may be Servants powerful enough to defeat a thousand soldiers on your own...

...but without enough gratitude energy, you will find yourselves utterly drained after but a single delivery.

Which is where this comes in!

？！

Amazones.com isn't content to sit around waiting for the rest of the galaxy to agree on workplace reforms.

We are undergoing constant evolution in order to better facilitate synergistic employee satisfaction.

Now, as our first subcontractors, I will make a special exception and grant you access to these facilities as well.

...Besides, they won't do any of my other employees any good, what with all of them still missing.

At any rate, forget employee welfare. What I am about to show you is nothing less than an employee paradise!

Right this way.

？！

Fou fo!?

Hmm. I can tell this place is also connected to the warehouse through, um, dubious spatial distortion means, but what exactly is it?

These are my company's prized comprehensive relaxation facilities. All Amazones.com employees are free to make use of them twenty-four hours a day.

They include a spacious hot spring bath complete with sauna, luxurious massage chairs, power nap beds, an arcade...

...and a food court-style group dining space staffed by first-class chefs.

As I alluded to earlier, this is a paradise designed to empower our employees to quickly get the R & R they need before sending them back to the war zone that is the delivery person's route.

I call it...The Great Amazones Hot Spring Story!

？！

Right. I've read about these in the database.

It said wellness resorts are general relaxation facilities from the late twentieth century where people could enjoy good food and soak in rejuvenating baths.

They were often used for business retreats as a place for corporate warriors to come together and recuperate from the stresses of the modern-day workplace.

I don't know how facilities such as these are commonly referred to on this planet, but this is indeed a place for warriors to come together.

It also ensures those warriors who come here stay healthy, one way or another.

Even a warrior on the brink of death from injuries sustained during an especially arduous delivery will be back on their feet and raring to go on a new route after one day spent here undergoing intensive recuperation.

Oh, I get it. So it's like recycling, but for people instead of plastics!

You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut at times like these, Paris.

How could you say that, Big Brother!?

Anyway, this place does look like a real sweet getup.

With all this space, and all the different things to do, I think even Chaldea's surprisingly expansive Servant roster ought to be able to kick back and relax here.

Well if you like it, that's plenty good enough for me!

I was always kind of anxious about being able to defend Troy back during the war...

...but you always said things would work out, and you were right. We managed to keep it safe for a really long time.

So I trust your opinion more than anyone else's!

Thanks, Paris, but ultimately, this isn't my call. Whether we go through with this, or not, is up to Master.

So, Master, what do you say?

？！

Fou fooou!

You got it, Master. If that's your call, I'll do everything I can to help.

All right then, let's get this whole delivery operation started.

I agree. I think this will be the cleanest way to resolve this minute Singularity.

It may not be much, but I promise to help in whatever way I can, too. This could be an excellent chance to learn what it takes to be an office worker at a major online retailer!

Okay, Fujimaru, if this is what you think is best, I'm prepared to support you all the way.

That said, we've never done delivery work before, and there's bound to be new, unforeseen challenges we don't have much experience with, so we'll need to be careful.

We'll probably want to assign Servants to deliveries based on their mobility as well as their fighting prowess.

So Riders will probably be our biggest asset. Then again, a lot of non-Rider Servants have all sorts of vehicles at their command, too...

Hmm, there's definitely a lot to consider here.

Being mobile isn't really my thing, so is it okay if I go back to being a shut-in now?

So every Servant in Chaldea is going to work together to handle these deliveries, right?

That kind of sounds like a festival! This is gonna be fun!

I don't know about fun; sounds more like a lot of hard work to me. Oh well, guess I'll just have to make sure I don't work TOO hard.

Anyway, you said you're gonna stick with the CEO, right, Master? In that case, Osakabehime ought to be all the security detail you need.

After all, there won't be much need for a bunch of us to cover a lot of ground this time.

I get the feeling this is all gonna come down to the number of Servants who can get around independently, and how light they are on their feet.

That means we're going to do the best we can to make deliveries too, right? Yay! I can't wait to get started!

So you just need me to be a bodyguard then? Sure, I can do that.

(So I can just let the CEO handle the front line and focus on keeping Ma-chan safe? Easy as pie!)

？！