Section 1 "Directored Away"

...Phew. It looks like we're here. I'm glad we didn't end up falling from a great height again.

？！

Fou.

Hmm... No bus stop anywhere, let alone a fancy hotel. It looks like nothing but woods in all directions...

Indeed. I see no sign of the resort lodgings Lady Sion told us about anywhere.

I don't care about the hotel as long as I'm with Master...but it is odd that there isn't even a road.

Does this mean she deceived us?

？！

...It looks like it's just us here.

I don't see Director Goredolf, or Diarmuid, or Fionn mac Cumhaill...

Me neither. I don't even sense them anywhere nearby. We've clearly gotten separated from each other.

This is the first time we've Rayshifted with these facilities, right? Maybe they accidentally ended up at a different destination than we did.

Th-this is an emergency! I'll contact Chaldea right now and

And...

Oh no. I just realized I don't have any means of contacting Chaldea from here! Sion never gave us any!

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh... What are we going to do now, Senpai!?

？！

Easy there. Don't get yourself worked up. Director Goredolf's the one with the comms device, remember?

It's unfortunate that we're currently separated from him, but don't worry. I'll take care of that.

First we get out a peck of rice, and... Hey, ho, where do the winds blow?

"Separated: The one you seek is not far. Encounter: Before the day is out."

And there's our fortune☆ So you see? There's nothing to worry about, Mash.

I-I'm impressed, Tamamo. True, if Director Goredolf is close and we can meet up soon, we should be fine...

Given that Lord Fionn is nowhere to be seen, it would seem safe to assume he is still with Lord Goredolf.

I suggest we trust in Lord Fionn and Lord Diarmuid's battle prowess and continue on our way.

What's more, there is a brook here. When one is lost in the mountains, one cannot go wrong following water.

What do you say, Master? Shall we see if we can reach the top of this mountain?

？！

...Wait. Did you hear that?

That was a cry for help! I'm sure of it!

It's just like the sound Master makes whenever he runs away from me!

？！

I agree! It could be Director Goredolf!

Chirp, chirp, please stop! You're hurting me!

Chirp, this tofu is Mr. Tiger's dinner! Chirp, you monkeys can't have any!

Ook eek! Ook ook eek!

I-it appears to be an...adorably plump sparrow...

It's surrounded by a pack of monkeys. And not just any monkeys, either.

They're enveloped in some kind of demonic power. I expect they're probably monsters in disguise.

...

(I'm not sure why, but...there's something about that sparrow that makes my blood pressure rise...)

But I can worry about that later! What would you have us do, Master!?

？！

Naturally! I do not know where these demonic monkeys come from, but I will not let them gang up on a helpless sparrow!

Perhaps it was fate that brought us together. Come, Pleasure Trip Crew, let us render our aid!

Ook eek! Ook eek eeek!

And the winner is...Kiyohime♡

Compared to the bond Master and I share, those monkeys were hardly worth my notice.

Chirp, thank you so much! Chirp, I can't tell you how grateful I am!

You must be famous, chirp, powerful gods to chase away monkeys like that!

Did you come here from Izumo to soak in the hot springs? Chirp, that's certainly the impression I get from the fox lady.

Chirp, are you a friend of Magistrate Tiger's, perhaps?

"Eat the things that are weaker than you." That's the impression I get of the fox lady, chirp.

Fou. Fou fou.

How rude. I'll have you know I'm not going to eat you, nor do I have any tigers or monkeys among my friends.

More importantly, did you just say hot springs? You wouldn't happen to work at a hotel, would you?

"Whole tell"...? Chirp, what's a "Whole tell"?

She simply wishes to know if there is an inn nearby, as do I.

Oh, an inn! Then, chirp, you ARE guests! One, two, three, four, five...

Chirp chirp, five new guests! The madam's gonna be thrilled! We're gonna make a bundle!

Oh, wait. May I ask where you all are from? Because we don't accept gang members, chirp chirp.

If you mean to stay at our inn for the purposes of testing your skills, collecting materials, or property destruction, then I can't show you the way, chirp.

Testing our skills... That sounds straight out of an RPG side quest...

Um, Master? Just to confirm, this is a pleasure trip, right? We are not here to repair a Singularity, right?

？！

Right! Sion even said we could leave this Singularity alone without a problem!

This time, we're only here for sightseeing and recreation, not fighting!

Hehe, wonderful. It would be quite a mood killer if we had to spill blood on our pleasure trip, after all.

Little sparrow, while we do all carry dark secrets, we are still ardent followers of the way of the Buddha.

You may show us to your inn assured in the knowledge that none of us are damned or cursed.

Chirp chirp! In that case, I'd be happy to take you there! It's the least I can do to thank you for saving my life!

The, uh, sparrow(?) just spread its wings and flew off!

Although, it's flying so close to the ground that it doesn't seem any faster than walking...

At least we should be able to keep up with it without too much trouble.

...Sparrow... A sparrow apprentice... Something's nagging at me, but I can't put my finger on it...

Never mind that now. Come on, we need to follow it.

Rescuing an employee of the inn we'll be staying at bodes well for the rest of our trip.

If we play our cards right, we might even get to stay in a suite for free!

Hmm... Maybe you're just oblivious to it thanks to your natural optimism, Kiyohime...

...but I've had shivers going down my tail for a while now...

We're almost there! Chirp, not much farther now!

Once we pass the Bounded Field around the forest, chirp, you'll be able to see much farther around you!

？！

...Wooow!

Aah!?

Aaah!?

Aaaaaah!?

This is incredible! I've never seen such a magnificent building built on top of a mountain like this!

So this is what a Japanese hot springs inn is like! I'm genuinely at a loss for words!

Oh no... Oh no... Oh no, oh no, oh no!

Please tell me this isn't what I think it is...!

Chirp chirp, honored guests! This is the most extraordinary resort in Buddhist hell, where weary spirits can rest and recuperate in our secret waters!

While we have branch locations throughout the world, this is still the original place where humans are spirited away! Welcome, chirp chirp...to Japan's one and only Enma-tei, run by Madam Beni-Enma herself!

Gaaaaaah!!! I knew iiittt!!!

Chirp?

I'll show you inside now, chirp. Right this way please.

Thank you, Sparrow. Um, if you don't mind my asking, could you tell us your name, please?

Chirp chirp, my name? It's Toshi.

You'd really call me by my name? Chirp, are you benevolent gods?

Chirp, this is great! It's just like old times again!

I see, chirp. Then you're lost humans who wandered here by mistake, since gods don't like using names.

？！

It's a pleasure to meet you, Toshi. I've never been to an inn before, so this is all very exciting for me!

Hold it, hooold it! Just stop right there!

Lady Mash. Lord Fujimaru. Can you really not see how incredibly suspicious this building is?

I mean, just look at it! It defies the laws of architecture! You just know it's got to be full of monsters and demons!

We know the Rayshift experiment worked now, right? So how about we turn around and go back home, right now?

I agree. Please, Teacher, don't give this unworthy one any more deten

Uh, I mean...!

Th-this inn is obviously too rich for our blood, so we best look for another! Isn't that right, Kiyohime!?

Hehe. Hehehe. Hehehehe...! Please. Forgive me. Forgive meee!

Kiyohime is sweating like crazy! It's as though she's suffering from a severe PTSD flashback!

？！

Noooooo! Don't do iiittt!!!

Madam! Madam! Chirp chirp, I brought new guests back with me!

I saw the report, chirp. Now go bring the tofu to the kitchen.

Welcome to the Enma-tei, chirp, honored guests.

The Enma-tei is a hot springs inn where all inhuman creatures are equally welcome; a place humans can only find by losing their way.

I'm Beni-Enma, the Tongue-Cut Sparrow and the inn's proprietress.

On behalf of the entire Enma-tei, chirp, I thank you for the kind rescue of one of our sparrows.

Beni-Enma, the Tongue-Cut Sparrow... What a powerful Spirit Origin! Would you happen to be a Servant?

Servant? I make sure our guests have great service, but that's all, chirp.

I'm allowed to be here as a Heroic Spirit, but I'm technically just another tormentor demon of hell.

I used to help Mother with Children's Limbo, chirp, but one thing led to another, and I eventually took over the Enma-tei.

Now my job is to look after the guests who visit the Enma-tei...

But first! You three, chirp, front and center!

Y-yes, ma'am! It's good to see you again, Ms. Beni-Enma♡

I haven't seen you since you visited the Throne of Heroes to teach your traveling class. It's so, uh, good to see you haven't changed a bit. Hohoho.

Come to think of it, I do believe that I'd heard you were running an inn now. I'm so very...very pleased to run into you again like this. Hohoho.

I still remember all the many secret techniques you taught me, Teacher.

So please, rest assured there is no need to test me on them again. Really, none whatsoever. Hoho. Hohoho. Hohohoho.

What was with the look just now, Tomoe? Chirp, I don't recall teaching you secret techniques.

You had a long way to go to just master the basics. Have you eliminated the bad habits in your prep time?

Y-yes, of course! It's just like you taught me: rinse raw veggies well to instantly bring out their flavor!

...(Sigh) In a way, I suppose that's impressive. I guess a little rinse is all it takes to make anything edible for you.

Boar meat, tree roots, rock salt...you would just dump it all on the plate as is. Chirp chirp, perhaps you should consider renaming that "dish" to Raw Gozen?

O-oh, right! I'm sorry! Before I serve, I should cut everything in half so it's easier to eat!

...

？！

Chirp! I'm sorry, where are my manners.

You must be Mr. Fujimaru and Ms. Mash my sparrow told me about.

You two are free to go on to the dining room. We sparrows never forget a good deed.

But not you three. Though our time together may have been limited, you are still my pupils.

As such, I must see for myself just how far your skills have come!

She just took out a katana...!

No! That's Enjaku Battoujutsu, First Form!

Oh yes. Ms. Beni-Enma is an incredibly skilled chef. She can wield a cooking knife as well as a first-class swordmaster wields a blade!

Once she pulls out her sword, she can cut any tongue down to size no matter how skilled an orator it belongs to. It's the quickest, smallest, shortest sword-drawing technique in the world!

And it's exactly what makes Beni-Enma's Jigoku Kitchen the scariest place in the world to learn how to cook!

Hehe. Its full name is actually Enjaku Saihou Battoujutsu. It means "Hell Sparrow Sewing Sword-Drawing Technique."

It's not clear whether she became an expert swordsparrow thanks to her cooking, or an expert chef thanks to her swordsmanship...

...but the bottom line is that Ms. Beni-Enma's battoujutsu is so fearsome, it's enough to make even the King of Hellthe Supreme Judge's hair stand on end.

？！

Chirp, stop your chatter and come at me!

One's skill in the kitchen manifests in the body. I can measure how good you are by seeing how you move.

Now, come! Chirp, demonstrate just how much you've improved!

Pathetic. This is, chirp, absolutely pathetic, Tamamo.

There's not a hint of spice in this entire meal.

You may have covered the basic food groups, but it's the same boring meal everyone's seen before, chirp.

You realized in the middle of cooking that you used ingredients your Master couldn't eat, so you took the ones set aside for tomorrow, am I right?

Cheep cheep, I see you cut your ingredients smaller than usual. It's obvious you burned them because you couldn't tell when they were done.

How shameful, thinking you know all there is about cooking as soon as you reach the intermediate level! This would never have happened if you had been more careful in the prep stage!

A failure to manage ingredients before you even get to the cooking, chirp. In warfare terms, your army was routed because you failed to supply them properly!

Now every last one of your infinite imaginary future Masters that might have existed in parallel worlds has been slain! Chirp!

I can't believe it! What have I done...!?

There's barely any color to these greens. You forgot to blanch them after boiling them, didn't you?

Cheep, these yams and pumpkins are falling apart from being overcooked. And what were you thinking, cutting the vegetables into shapes? Trying to be cute?

Most egregiously, you were supposed to cook fish for your assignment, but I see none!

A parasite popped up while you were cleaning the fish, so you set the whole thing alight with your dragon flames, am I right? How many times must I tell you to leave your fire at the kitchen door?

Chirp, if you are going to roast a fish, at least make sure to dress it properly first!

As for seasoning, you can add them without measuring only once you're on the same level as Tamamo! You must measure your teaspoons and tablespoons properly!

Y-yes, ma'am...! I promise to take your advice to hornI mean, heart!

Reading the recipe in the middle of cooking... Using whatever's at hand to substitute missing seasonings...

Thinking you can just triple the cooking temperature to cook a ten-minute recipe in a third of the time...

Chirp! I haven't seen a student try so hard to create a fool's dish in a long time, Tomoe Gozen.

You will get no mercy from me whatsoever!

These horns of the battlefield you prize so greatly have no place in the kitchen!

Huh!? I don't understand why you're so upset, but whatever it is, I'm very sorry!

I promise I will do better with the next dish! Probably!

As long as I keep cooking, I am sure one of them will turn out well eventually!

...It's been quite some time since you all completed my sixty-day Home Economics class.

I was hoping you would have improved somewhat, but it seems to have been a foolish thing to hope for.

We're so sorry! Waaah! (Ugly crying)

Still, it's not all bad news. Chirp chirp.

It looks like you've been diligently applying yourself, Tamamo. Chirp, if nothing else, you can now more than hold your own in the kitchen.

I'll even give you full points for both taste and presentation. But be careful not to make it too fancy.

That's just misusing your feelings. Love should be used as a spice, not the main course.

The most important thing is to make sure your Master stays healthy, chirp chirp.

Teehee.

Kiyohime, your hands are so smooth. Do you hate washing them with cold winter water that much? Hm?

You can't shirk from water, fire dragon or not, chirp, if you're going to cook a meal full of love.

There are plenty of great gloves these days, and the culinary arts never stop advancing. You should pay more attention to your tools.

Chirp chirp, you ARE as good with heat control as I expected. I'm glad to see you're improving yourself.

Oh my... Thank you, Teacher. It's so nice of you to praise me in front of Master♡

As for you, Tomoe

Yes, Teacher! I am ready and eager to hear your words of guidance and encouragement!

Please tell me, just how have I improved since we parted ways!?

I wonder, where do you get all that confidence from? It's as though you see ingredients as little more than an enemy general to be vanquished.

Chirp, I'll be reteaching you everything from scratch later. I suppose we'll have to start by developing your palate...

The fact that your meals are so rough around the edges shows that your palate has become dull.

The only flavors you can taste are from modern-day snack foods, am I right?

(How did she know!? Gaaah, this is so embarrassing!)

(I-I have become decent at making confections by following recipes, but I just cannot handle normal human meals!)

All right, that's enough of that. Thanks for waiting, Fujimaru and Mash.

Your meal should be ready by now, chirp, so let me show you to the dining hall.

You're our first new guests in a long time, so I promise we'll do all we can to make your stay a pleasant one.

I see. So Earth was turned an endless white after you restored humanity.

I knew the human realm was tumultuous, but that's well beyond anything I could have imagined.

And you "Chaldeans" are trying to set things right?

That's a huge responsibility for someone so young. I'm impressed, cheep.

The Enma-tei is primarily an inn for gods. We don't usually let humans stay here very long.

But since you two have found your way here by accident, I can't turn you away now.

I can't leave the Enma-tei myself, chirp, but I'll do whatever I can to ensure you have a pleasurable time.

Here, help yourselves to this freshly caught yellowtail sashimi. We also have Japanese seerfish broiled with miso and yuzu, if you'd like some.

？！

This is really happening, isn't it... I really am having a meal in a Japanese-style dining room, with tatami mats and everything...

The storied architecture, the fresh, colorful, delicious food wrapped in timeless tradition...

Now I know how Urashima Tarou felt! I'm comfortable declaring this to be the Tamatebako of dining!

Fou, fo fou.

Indeed, indeed. I can't even remember the last time anyone ate in the Enma-tei's dining room.

And for those latest someones to neither be fallen gods, nor monsters claiming to be gods, but humans, well...I've never heard of such a thing.

Hohoho, life certainly is full of surprises, isn't it? I haven't seen the Madam have this much fun in ages.

Aah! Who are you, and where'd you come from!? Don't you know it's rude to try to take food off someone else's plate!?

I only did so in jest, I assure you. Oh, allow me to introduce myself. My name is Moneyed Monkey.

It's been five hundred years now since I first came to the Enma-tei. I enjoyed it so much I extended my stay.

Before I knew it, I had mysteriously forgotten the way back to where I came from. I am but an oddball that decided to live here.

Suffice to say I'm a guest at this inn just like you. Or at least, I will be until my wallet runs empty.

I suppose that's one way to put it.

What actually happened was he used all the money he had to pay for five centuries of accommodations up front, all because he "didn't want to work anymore."

So I wouldn't say he forgot the way home so much as he irresponsibly decided to begin his retirement early.

Hohoho. Have you ever cared for a bunch of monkeys before? It's an exhausting endeavor, I assure you.

They only ever do whatever they feel like and leave anything difficult for someone else to take care of.

I had more than enough of that for one lifetime, so now, I would like to live out the rest of my days in peace here at the Enma-tei.

Now come, let me pull up a cushion and join you as a fellow guest.

Here, young oni, would you care for a glass of Sparrow's Dance, Enma-tei's famous local wine?

Hoho, down it all in one gulp, and it's just like dying and going to heaven.

No, thank you. I never drink while I am on duty, and besides, I have no tolerance. More importantly, did you say you used to take care of monkeys?

We ran into a group of demonic monkeys attacking a sparrow on the way here. Are they the ones you

Them!? Perish the thought. Those demonic monkeys and I may as well be different species altogether!

Those foul apes have been making all sorts of trouble in and around the Enma-tei as of late.

They steal food from the pantry, and valuables from the vault. They attack any sparrow they come across out in the mountains... It's chaos.

As a fellow monkey, I did try to lecture them on the error of their ways, but to no avail.

They simply ran off again, not even sparing me so much as a glance.

Would you please not speak of this, Moneyed Monkey? I'm trying to make our new guests feel welcome.

Oh, yes, of course. Hoho, I do beg your pardon.

If I hadn't said anything, Madam, you would never have brought it up. Poor taste though it may be, I feel it is important they know what's been taking place.

Besides, these fine people seem capable of handling themselves in a fight. I imagine they must be quite accustomed to performing good deeds on their travels.

Isn't that right, Ms. Fox Courtesan? Surely you must be a famous Divine Spirit, no?

Stop it. I'm just your everyday beautiful shrine maiden fox, a heroine who has never been in a fight in her life.

If the inn has problems, the inn's employees can handle them. We're just here to relax and have fun.

We're not looking for any trouble. We're not even here to repair this Singularity.

Hehe, I see you're still just as assertive when you need to be, Tamamo.

Cheep cheep, she's right, Moneyed Monkey.

I'll take care of the demonic monkeys once I have some spare time, so please be patient until then.

I see... I was hoping to make your life at least a little easier, seeing how you already work too much as it is, but

I don't work that hard at all. I enjoy myself each and every day thanks to the other sparrows.

Now, never mind all that. Would you like another helping, Mr. Fujimaru? Ms. Mash?

It must be fate that brought you here. I'd love to hear more stories about the outside worl

!

Madam! Madaaam!

Chirp, what's going on?

Bandits! Bandits in the shrine! Chirp chirp, there are three bandits raiding the Tribute Hall even as we speak!

They say they're from a place called "Chaldea," chiiirp!

Oho. I knew I smelled something good this way. Feast your eyes, gentlemen!

A veritable mountain of meat, fish, wine, and fruit, along with fixtures I don't quite recognize!

What else could this be but a feast prepared in our honor? What do you think we should do, Diarmuid?

(Munch munch) Hmm... This fish is good. Really good.

There's plenty of fat, and it's salted to perfection. Mmm, I need something to wash it down. (Glug glug)

(He's already digging in!? This Saber Diarmuid's practically overflowing with vitality...!)

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Both of you, hold it right there!

I know we've been lost in the mountains for three days ever since we Rayshifted here.

(Since I lost the communicator Sion gave me,) we're all physically and mentally exhausted, and our magical energy is just about gone.

As such, I can understand why you would enter a building that appeared before our eyes without a second thought.

Especially since nobody responded when we called out, and the back door was already open.

And believe me, I want to jump in and feast on this mountain of delicacies we now see before us just as much as you.

But even so! Even so!

Don't you think it's very likely this banquet is distinctly not meant for us?

It might be the kind of enchanted food you can't put down until you realize you've turned into a pig!

Hahaha, this is delicious! I can't put it down! Here, Fionn mac Cumhaill, you must try this!

This is ramen noodles served with cubed stewed pork! I learned about it in Chaldea! And this pork and veggie stir-fry! I had this in Chaldea, too!

Hm? I don't know about this... It's not that I'm being overly cautious like Goredolf, but

Hahaha, come now, surely there is nothing for the captain of the Knights of Fianna to fear!

Here you go. Pork is highly nutritious, easy to digest, and goes well with all sorts of things. As ingredients go, it's a solid B in every aspect.

Go on then, eat up. (Chomping away) Eat it. (Guzzling wine)

It tastes so good, you'll forget all about everything else.

You know, my lord, I've thought for a long time now that you have a tendency to overthink things.

We Celts don't need to think. We merely need to act. Now go on. Go on.

W-well, if you insist that much, I suppose I can't refuse. All right, I'll have some.

...Hm? Hmmm?

What the!? I've never tasted anything like it! These ingredients are impossibly sublime...!

This is bad. It's so good I can't stop. My thumb is warning me this is dangerous, but I can't stop!

It is no exaggeration to say there is something divine in this flavor! It can't possibly be evil!

Diarmuid, I would next like to try that sumptuous looking dish over there. Yes, that's it. The great big roast bird with its wings fully spread out.

Perhaps it's a phoenix? Whatever it is, it's clearly been cooked to golden-brown perfection. Would you get me some?

Of course! The more you dig through this mountain of treats, the more unusual delicacies you find!

Nooo! Now the heavens shall wreak terrible vengeance upon us! I had no idea Rayshifts were so dangerous!

N-now now, hold it together, Goredolf. Staying cool under pressure is the mark of a capable commander.

You're a mage, aren't you? Then you can take stock of this building and determine your current situation.

First, there's this mountain of food, and a box with Holy Grail-like power emanating from the inside...

This has got to be an offering to Divine Spirits, a relic that acts as the very heart of this building...!

Not to mention that disturbing magical energy flowing into the box every time those two eat something.

What if the box ends up exploding? It certainly wouldn't be the first sort of engine trouble I've encountered!

I say, you two.

That's quite enough. Stop this at once, before you put my life in further danger.

Here, I'll give you this beef jerky I've been holding on to as a secret last resort.

So stop eating that food and fill yourselves up on this.

...I'm too late. They've both gone full wildman Celt! How does that boy manage to keep them in check!?

That does it, I'm getting out of here! I need to at least save myself if we're going to

Ooh, what's this? Do we have some new faces getting a jump on the rest of us?

A human with a couple of Heroic Spirits at that! As I live and breathe!

Gaaah! Wh-wh-who are you, and when did you get behind me!?

Me? Why, I'm Chief Snake. Don't tell me you've never heard of the Enma-tei's three famous freeloaders?

Well, there's no problem. I just came down here to sneak a teensy bit for myself.

And lucky me, now I get to drink while feasting my eyes on these two luscious hunks. Mmm mm.

How about you, hon? Maybe you're not hungry, but surely you can still have a drink or two?

H-huh? Then, does that mean it's all right to eat this food?

You're sure it's not poisoned? We won't be cursed or punished by the gods?

Of course not, silly man. All that matters is that the offering's been offered up.

The rules say anyone can eat anything once a day has passed, you know?

Although...there is something strange about the offerings box. This could be pretty bad, in fact.

It might have some not-so-good stuff built up inside it. Could be reeeally bad for those two if it blows up, you know?

Y-yes, I was just thinking the same thing. What would you do, Chief Snake, or whatever your name was!?

Me? Why, I'm just a little old snake charmer. I don't know much about this sort of thing at all.

Still...if it's about to blow up, wouldn't it make sense to open the lid?

That's it?

(I thought you were normally supposed to keep things of that sort closed, but I suppose they do things differently in Japan. Good to know.)

In that case, I have this well in hand. All I have to do is open the lid, you say? Hup!

A brilliant ten-point landing for the commander! And now, the opening! Bahaha, and now all's right with the world!

Now I can dive into these piles of food with no reservations! Lancer! Make sure you save some of that roast phoenix for

Huh? Now the box is glowing! Does this mean I'm going to end up turning into a pig after all!?

？！

Y-yes? Oh, if it isn't Fujimaru and Mash Kyrielight.

I see... So you two are all right, too. I mean, I had a feeling that was the case, but still.

Can we catch up later? What the hell happened here?

Plates of food scattered everywhere... Divine aura fading from this room as we speak...

Are you the bandits that broke into the Enma-tei?

(Gasp)...! How deeply embarrassing. To think I lost control due to such overwhelmingly bright light...

It must have been some ancient curse overflowing with life and vitality.

Not even a Servant could take it head-on and emerge unscathed... How are you faring, Diarmuid?

My eyes are still recovering, my lord, but I am otherwise unfazed. It helps that I feel nice and full right now, for some reason.

...Nonetheless, I must apologize for my actions. Lord Goredolf did warn us, but, the food was just...

And then, when the box started to glow...some fish got caught in my throat...

？！

Do you mean to tell us you all barged in here uninvited and helped yourselves to the offerings!?

Not to mention messed with the offering box, too.

I... That's...

...

Heh. Well, if you only look at the outcome, then yes, I suppose that's right. Indeed, I did open that box.

An offering box, you said it was? Whatever it's called, I sensed something wicked lurking within.

So in order to protect these two, as well as my own safety, I opened it up to vent some of its pressure.

Surely there can't be any issue? As you can see, we are all safe, uninjured, and remain distinctly human.

As for the food, I will of course be happy to apologize, and to compensate for the loss as best I can with the funds currently available to me.

What do you think, Madam? Cheep cheep, is that okay?

...Sadly, no. It'll take more than an apology to solve this problem, chirp.

You have no idea what you've all done.

H-hm? What is it, young lady? Hmm, strange. Despite her stature, she's just as imposing as my head maid.

Who is this young lady, Fujimaru?

？！

She is!? Then, the tiny madam really does exist!?

Never mind me, chirp. Right now, I need to tell you all about the Tribute Hall, so listen up.

This hall is the heart of the Enma-tei. It is dedicated to all the different Shinto gods.

Whenever a guest finishes a stay here and goes home...

...it's customary for them to deposit their gratitude into the box, chirp.

Now do you understand? That box contained every "thank you" we collected the previous year.

The box contained gratitude...? Wait, you mean that

Kiyohime, shush! She's obviously talking about cold, hard QP! Don't make her spell it out!

Well, some customers are certainly more grateful than others, but generally, Tamamo is right, cheep cheep.

Once we've collected a year's worth of gratitude, it's then customary to convert it with ritual prayers...

...and offer it up to the gods of Izumo so that the next year will be safe and peaceful.

But now that you Chaldeans have set it free, chirp, we can't let you leave...

Oh? And why is that?

Because if we do, the gods will end up punishing you.

There are two weeks to go until the offering day. If you can't replenish the gratitude that escaped by then, you'll all be turned into pigs. Chirp.

Khh! I knew it!

...This is all so sudden that I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it, but let me see if I have this straight.

Mr. Goredolf released the magical energy that you planned to offer up to the gods in two weeks...

...so now, we need to store up the year's worth of gratitude that was lost before those two weeks are up?

That's right. Believe me, cheep, I understand that it's a lot to ask.

I am afraid there is little I can do to help gather the gratitude you lost. It must be gathered by those who lost it and were cursed in the first place.

If you don't want to turn into pigs, you'll need to find a way to fill the offering box up again.

Hmm, I see, I see. So we need to recover last year's worth of gratitude in the span of two weeks.

Surely that's not even possible? Isn't that well out of the bounds of what my limited funds could cover?

Besides, how are we even supposed to fill an offering box with gratitude!? Do we need to polish it every morning with a song in our heart or something!?

However you fill it is up to you, chirp. All I can say is this:

Work.

Gratitude is collected from all living things staying at the Enma-tei each and every day.

If you all work here, you may be able to increase the amount of gratitude by ensuring the other guests are happy and satisfied.

Um... Ms. Beni-Enma? When you say "you all," does that include us?

Of course. If you don't do something, every Chaldean will end up a pig, chirp chirp.

That goes for you, Fujimaru, Mash, the oni, the dragon... You'll all turn into pigs together.

S-Senpai too...!?

？！

Chirp chirp, you are our first new guests in a long while, so of course I never wanted this to happen.

However, I cannot pay my employees with sympathy. Therefore as a tormentor demon of hell, I'll be as ruthless as I must.

Toshi, show our new guests to their rooms, chirp. We can at least let them stay in the nicer ones.

Well, everyone, whether you all spend the next two weeks as guests or employees is something you'll need to decide for yourselves.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to our other guests.

If you decide to work, just let one of the sparrows know. Tamamo and the other Servants can at least chop firewood if nothing else, cheep.

Hmm. This is quite a pickle to start the new year off with, isn't it, Fujimaru.

Still, we're all on the same team here. What do you say we all work together to make the best of it?

Hey! Why are you looking away from me!? Are you upset that you need to work over the New Year's holiday?

I can certainly understand how you feel, but pouting like a child won't accomplish anything!

Of course! Putting the circumstances that led to it aside, I think this will be a wonderful experience.

I can't imagine anything more fun than working at a hot springs inn together with you, Senpai!

？！