The Melancholy of Katsushika Hokusai

Oh?

...There seems to be some sort of commotion. Let's go see what it's about.

That don't make a lick of sense.

Askin' to trade places would be one thing, but you want me to hand over all of my club's space?

That's right. As it stands right now, I just don't have enough.

If I don't have enough, I'll have to take what I need from others. Every ServantFes exhibitor knows that.

But don't worry, I'm nothing if not fair. If I lose, I'll be willing to give up my space.

I mean, you were so popular at the last con that you ended up crowding out other clubs' spaces, right?

Ha! Don't be ridiculous! Of course a famous artist's gonna have people linin' up.

Normally I'd tell you to take a long walk off a short pier...but I ain't one to run from a fight.

Bring it on then, sister. What sorta contest did you have in mind?

Heh. We fight to see who's the strongest, of course. That's what being a Servant's all about.

Huh...? But, that's not fair. You've got so many others fighting for you!

And what's wrong with that? They're here because of my charmin other words, my power.

So, I take it it'll just be the two of you then?

Settle down, you pigheaded oaf. Me an' Toto-sama can handle you and your little army just fine.

You're going to face them all by yourself, Hokusai? But, you can't...!

You an' me may both be Foreigners, but that don't mean we're cut from the same cloth. I can't go lettin' a dainty little girl get caught up in a scrap.

Fine with me. Come on, my Good-Looking Braves!

It's totally fine! Why, you ask? 'Cause I'm Medb, dammit!

Hmph, I should've known you Chaldeans might show up!

But fine, this works out nicely. Now I can take my revenge for last year.

？！

So let's have a straight-up, head-on, fair-and-square fistfight!

Hooray! Now's our chance to take her head for ourselves, Master.

？！

You really are obsessed... Anyway, there sure are a lot of these punks here, huh?

All these men love me from the bottom of their hearts. That alone gives their lives value.

That's a laugh. As far as you're concerned, men are nothing more than walking used tissue paper, right?

Well I never. What an inelegant analogy. That's not to say you're wrong, though.

You know how your fingers get dirty after a good meal? Well, someone's got to be the tissue if you're going to wipe them clean.

(I-I've never heard such an alluring, enigmatic, unabashedly empty metaphor before...)

So yeah, they're scraps of paper. But they're not just any old scraps of paper. They're a storybook.

A story that's all about my love for them.

The only way they die is if I lose my special gleam, or if I'm disgraced in a spectacularly ugly fashion.

That's never going to happen, of course, but hey, you've got to have insurance juuust in case.

？！

You. Shut it.

Anyway, that's why I decided to make a photo album. A record of my love that would remain for ages to come.

Master, I'll admit that much of this is over my head...

...but could this photo album truly be worth more than one of Lady Hokusai's books?

In which case, that's still no reason for Medb to try and steal another's space.

I like that. Very individualistic. In which case...

？！

Hmm, I see how it is. So you Chaldeans are siding with the little artist, huh?

Of course we are. Lady Hokusai and I share the same Japanese roots; I know without a doubt that she would never draw something obscene!

Uh... I don't know. Wouldn't say love scenes (read: porn) are that easy to draw...

...but Toto-sama's, well...

Doesn't matter to me much either way. Ah, whatever.

This new class has me feeling pretty belligerent myself, really.

Huh? You're blaming that on your class?

？！

What're you doing, taking the enemy's side!? Enough of this crap! Let's just get her already!

Great! I appreciate the help! Now that we're in the same boat, it's all hands on deck!

I said, I'm going to fight too!

Fine with me. I'll take you all on at once.

And when I win, you're all going to address me as "Queen"! Got that!?

So...you want us to call you Queen Medb Queen?

Ugh, you know what? Never mind. Not worth it.

Dagnabbit, they just keep comin'!

What's wrong with you guys? You better not be runnin' outta steam already!

I told you, none of us are running out of steam! Not with all the training we've put in!

Ugh, this is endless! Why won't you just give up already!?

All right, that's it, I'm done for today. We'll settle this in four days, at the Medb Contest!

And we'll do it fair and square!

What was that?

Look at you all well informed. That's right! And when it comes, I'll mop the floor with you guys.

？！

The next time we meet, you'll be begging me to take your space!

...Right?

That's the spirit! Think positive!

Just what I like to hear!

？！

All right then, see you all around. I've got a lot of relaxing and other environmentally friendly endeavors to pursue, and not nearly enough time to do it.

Hooohohoho!

She's got that stuck-up evil rich girl act down to a T, doesn't she. Even more than before.

？！

Phew, you lot really saved my ass. Thanks, Master.

Yes, thank you so much, Master! If there's anything I can do to repay you, please don't hesitate to ask.

Oh... Right.

This seems like as good a time as any to bring up our request. After all, we do need to sell as many copies as possible.

I can't go givin' up our club space, but anything else is on the table.

Well... Uh...

?

If you've got time, I was hoping you could give me some art lessons. For my manga.

...But what am I saying, of course you don't have time.

Never mind. Forget it.

Don't be ridiculous. Of course I'd be willin' to help.

I may not got a lotta time, but I do gotta return the favor you just did me. So I'm joinin' your club.

Are you sure!?

I mean, you're a professional artist, right? Don't you have, like, trade secrets to protect?

Ah, don't worry 'bout that. Toto-sama here used to take hundreds o' pupils, and I used to tutor people to help with the bills.

Nothin' I can teach you can make you a good artist by itself. Still gotta put in the work.

And above all, actin' all modest and stuff don't suit you. So go ahead and ask me what you really want!

...You asked for it.

Teach me how to draw better, Katsushika Hokusai!

You got it.

By the time I'm through with you, you'll know the greatness of Japanese paintin' through and through, or my name ain't Katsushika Hokusai of Tentacle Iron Bar!

... ...

...Um... I don't suppose you could reconsider your club's name...?

You'd, uh...hafta ask Toto-sama about that...

Fou...