Escape 1 - Results

Huh, this looks like...some special kind of basement. Not only that...

Well this is disappointing, seeing the rest of you here.

Huh, I guess all of our escape tunnels just happen to converge in this room.

Eh, it's fiiine. We'll just treat it like another of the race's checkpoints!

What's more, each of you got here at slightly different times.

I'll make sure to take that into account when tallying up the results, so you have nothing to worry about there!

All I want you guys to focus on is taking care of the problem in this room and getting back to the race.

Is that the Scorpion lady? Compared to what we saw of her in the courtyard, she seems rather...

I'll say it! She's huge! Beyond huge! She must have been chowing down on all sorts of goodies in here!

...Now I see. So that is the real body. So they're keeping her completely chained up in here.

I found it strange that a Servant of her caliber would not attempt to break out of here, but now I understand.

With that enormous frame she would have no hope of escaping this cell. On top of that, it seems she's bound with chains of divine steel.

Even if the barrier were to disappear, she would still have no way of escaping. That is why she has no interest in our prison break.

No doubt the only joy she would have in all this is watching with smug satisfaction as we fail to escape.

At last...the time has finally come.

...Don't do this.

Oh, but I must. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this day.

What's going on here? It looks to me like those two have some sort of secret history.

Though I suppose that sort of thing is inevitable when it comes to wardens and prisoners.

What a tremendously volatile situation. There is a great deal of hostility here.

Still, her chest and navel ARE flagrant violations of public decency. Perhaps the guard has finally begun to properly punish such transgressions!

Prepare yourself. I have awaited this day for many years, ever since I swore to safeguard hygiene and cleanliness.

And now...at last!

The reptile-safe antibacterial spray I ordered has finally been delivered! It's perfect for snakes!

...

...Uh? (Head tilt)

Khh... Are you truly a Heroic Spirit? Are you even human? Not even the cruelest of the Erinyes could come up with such a horrifying torture as this!

I'm begging you. Don't do this. Please! I'm shaking over here! My precious scales are trembling in fright!

I will admit...I am deeply ashamed of the way I have behaved until now. I knew about those reptilian parts of yours, yet I still looked the other way.

I told myself they weren't human parts... That they were strange and mysterious... That we didn't have the necessary medical equipment for them... That there were other, more important things I needed to tend to first.

Much as I may have tried to pretend otherwise, the fact remains...

Failing to sanitize some body parts just because they happen to not be human goes against everything I stand for as a nurse!

However, that all ends today.

I may have had trouble getting enough medical supplies in Crimea, but in this wonderful modern era, one can order anything and have it delivered right to her door!

Now, I have everything I need. In addition to this spray, I also made sure to read the "Snake Care for Dummies" book I had delivered with it from cover to cover.

As long as one is knowledgeable, and prepared with appropriate medical supplies, one has nothing whatsoever to fear.

Until now, I may not have been able to do anything about your snake parts...but today, I will finally sanitize them. Thoroughly.

When I'm done, you will be the cleanest, safest, most hygienic snake in the world, free to proudly show your face wherever you please!

Khh...

...Incidentally, I also believe that the spaces in between scales are prone to collecting grime or getting caught on this and that.

It may be worthwhile to shave them off for sanitization purposes as well.

And yes, I did read in "Snake Care for Dummies" where it said that unlike fish, snake scales are bonded to their skin. So what?

This cell was made especially for you, with generous amounts of divine steel provided by Fionn mac Cumhaill. There is nowhere for you to run.

It does sound like I've been hearing voices behind my back for a while now, but as they have nothing to do with hygiene, I won't pay them any mind.

Damn... Looks like I've got no other choice. You there! Help me stop her!

...

(Light bulb)

I don't know... We're just passing through here. It's not like this has anything to do with us, right?

Indeed. Scorpion, to the best of my recollection, we have never been friends, nor have you ever been in a position to give me cleaning orders.

Umu umu. At best, we were targets for you to vent your frustration upon in the exercise yard.

Uh. You mocked us. Said we would fail. You're mean.

Grr... You villains! It was clear for anyone to see what you were trying to accomplish!

Very well then, I'll make you a deal. Help rid me of this guard, and I will help you escape in return!

Now I see. We scratch your back and you'll scratch ours, eh. Shoulda just saved us all some time and led with that, dumb Orochi!

We have other things to worry about. We can't afford to waste our time here.

Our top priority is to make it outside... If you can help us do that, I am willing to assist you.

Indeed... Besides, it is summer. A season that comes but once a year.

If I were to remain in this dim hole, my new custom-fitted swimsuit would be all for naugh

No, no, that's not it at all! I must get out in order to uphold my duty of maintaining decency in summer!

Either way, we can't turn back now.

We need to take out that guard and bury the evidence that we were here! If we can get a powerful prisoner in our debt on top of that, that's great too!

You know, when she puts it like that, it makes this whole business sound incredibly shady...

(Sigh) ...

What's the matter, boss? Why the long face?

I was just thinking about those...things that have been paved all across my kingdom.

Ah, you went on another patrol? I think it's great how you're so enthusiastic about your work, yes!

Well I don't! Hmph... How dare they cover Connacht in those eyesores!

This is MY land, dammit.

At least they haven't made their way to this prison yet, but if they do start showing up here, then...

(Murmur) Hmm, I don't think we have to worry about that.

(Murmur) Those aren't being used to control this place. They're just making a track to race on.

(Murmur) A circuit, yes!

Ugh, just thinking about them pisses me the hell off. Hm? Did you say something?

Nope, no dije nada!

By the way...how's the interrogation going on those prisoners I captured the other day? They seem like they'd know something, but since I've been letting you handle the whole thing, I have no idea what you might've learned.

Bien! Of course it's going great! I've been putting them all through rigorous interrogations every day.

Unfortunately, they're so tough that I haven't learned anything yet, no! No wonder those Heroic Spirits managed to conquer your nation.

I'm sorry, Medb. I'm afraid I'm going to need more time to get something conclusive out of them.

I know there's no possible way they could ever escape this prison, so technically, we can afford to take our time...

But I just can't stand the thought of those things being plastered all over my kingdom.

Hurry up and get them to tell you how to peel those things off as soon as you can!

Understood. Your wish is my command, boss.

Grr. This whole thing has me annoyed... Actually, I'm horny. Hey, you're still training the prisoners, right?

Naturally! Pounding the art of lucha into as many people as possible is the primary reason that I'm here, yes!

Then bring me your most promising trainees right now. I'll take them on myself.

Oh gosh... To be honest, I'd really rather not squander my most promising trainees' potential like that.

If they go up against you, you'll either break them, or they'll get so caught up in your nighttime lucha that it'll throw off their training balance.

...Hmm, then again, if that's all it would take to stop them, they might not ever be able to become true warriors anyway. Wait right here while I go and get them!

Whew.

Great job, boss. Feeling better now?

Of course not. This didn't help resolve the problem outside the prison walls at all.

Did make for a good workout though. And hey, look at the time. I'd better get back to my office for a shower.

Hm hm hm hmmm♪