Section 2: Snatch, Steal, Straight

Earlier, I was robbed of my ability to fight.

It seems the curator and his Servants weren't lying about that.

However, it also seems my ability to fight is the ONLY thing they took.

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Yes?

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This? This is my phantom thief attire.

Oh. ...Well, I guess you are still pretty young, so...

Hahaha. Don't think I can't see that look of pity in your eyes.

I think you look cool.

No comment.

Thank you, Master. Phantom thief Amakusa Shirou Tokisada, at your service.

Hahaha, I assure you, Master, I'm taking this very seriously.

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Ahem. Now, as I was saying.

Since my combat abilities have been sealed away, I, of course, can't currently use my Noble Phantasm, Twin Arm - Big Crunch.

But fortunately, I have two other Noble Phantasms that aren't used for combat:

Right Hand - Evil Eater, and Left Hand - Xanadu Matrix.

And those still work just fine.

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Well, to make a long story short...

As a Servant who should by all rights have been summoned as a Caster, rather than a Ruler...

I can use all kinds of magecraft to support you in various ways.

As long as you aren't fighting, there is nothing you can't do.

That being said, just because you can fly through the air or smash through a wall doesn't mean you should.

At the risk of repeating myself, let me say once more that our only goal is to steal that Holy Grail.

Which means our first order of business is to disguise ourselves.

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Come now, Master, don't you remember? Security already knows what you look like.

As for the rest of you, I'll go ahead and strengthen your disguise charms.

That should ensure you all look like ordinary humans, at least as long as you don't do any fighting.

Of course, the jig will also be up if you do anything to draw suspicion to yourselves.

From there, it will all come down to our smarts, our courage, our planning, and our prep work.

Jing Ke, I'd like you to keep using Presence Concealment to monitor everything that goes on in the museum.

Got it.

Keep an especially close eye on the security guards' patrol patterns, and let us know if you see anything else that seems odd to you.

You ARE the assassin who tried to kill one of the most powerful emperors in history...

...so I'm certain your keen eye and attention to detail will be crucial to success in this heist.

... ...

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Shut UP, Master!

Sanson, I'd like you to pretend to be a doctor on vacation and go learn anything you can about the museum.

The food stands outside should be a good place to start.

Hmm. Well, I don't mind doing that...

Are you certain no one will be able to tell I am a Servant though?

Oh yes. You've had a charm cast on you already, and I'll improve it, so I don't think you'll have anything to worry about.

Beyond that, you'll just have to trust me.

...Hmm.

Fortunately, no one on the museum's side knows which of us are Servants, apart from me, of course.

They have figured out there're more besides me, but it should be impossible for them to determine who exactly we are.

All right. I'll trust you on this, Amakusa.

That said, I'm not exactly hopeful about being able to find out much in the way of useful information...

Ah, but that's because I still have one more important thing to tell you.

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I want you to conduct yourself as though you truly were a doctor.

You need to act as though you're not here to harm the museum, or to steal anything from it. In fact, you should forget you're a Servant altogether.

If you can't convince yourself you're just a doctor, and nothing more, you'll probably blow your cover.

I see. Understood.

In that case, it would probably be better if I don't know about the rest of the plan.

Would you mind keeping it a secret from me, Amakusa?

Not at all.

So what should I do?

You and Master are going to stick together, Voyager.

Me and Master?

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Between the two of you... Hmm, I think you'll be the more natural fit for this, Master.

I'm going to dye your hair blond.

I'm going to dye your hair blond. I'll also give you some color contacts to make your eyes match.

From now on, you and Voyager are going to be siblings.

Ooh. Siblings...

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You're going to pretend to be tourists visiting the museum every day.

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Not at all.

It's a very big museum, and it's filled with all sorts of relics and artifacts related to heroes throughout history.

I'm certain you can pull off a convincing big brother who's only there because of his younger brother's hero obsession.

I know lots about heroes.

Especially the ones who became constellations.

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For the time being, I'd like you all to focus on your roles and get into character.

We have a long road ahead of us.

Then I'll start by getting a room at a nearby inn. I'm a doctor... I'm a doctor...

I'll conceal my presence and stick close to the museum.

Shall we go to the museum, too?

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I have lots. Okay, let's go.

Now then. As for me, I'd better start remembering what it was like when I had nothing to my name.

This job is going to take ingenuity, hard work, perseverance, physics, and psychology.

...Who ever said being a thief is easy?

Is everything all right?

Oh, yes, she's just feeling a little under the weather.

Let me take a look... She's suffering from heat exhaustion.

Really? But it's not even that hot.

It's because it's much warmer now than it was last night, which was quite chilly.

She had a little trouble adjusting to the difference in temperature.

Fortunately, her symptoms are fairly mild, so she should feel better once she gets some rest. I suggest you ask one of the museum staff to let her stay in the infirmary for a while.

O-okay, I will. Thanks!

Not at all.

Um... I'm afraid the infirmary is a bit crowded at the moment...

If it's just a little heat exhaustion, we would prefer that you make use of one of the museum's benches instead...

I see. Then I'll have to call an ambulance.

Huh!?

You can't take heat exhaustion lightly, regardless of how mild its symptoms may be.

If you have a place on the premises where she can be treated, then that's where she should go.

Should you refuse, I may need to take this to the museum's curator.

...I understand. Please come with me, Miss.

I'm coming, too.

Um, sir, I'm afraid I can't

Oh, I suppose you have a physician on call?

Um... I'm afraid we don't quite have the funds for that...

We do have a nurse among our staff, but as for an in-house doctor on standby, well...

I suppose, no matter the era, we are always short of doctors.

Very well. I will serve as this museum's on-call physician until closing time, at least for so long as I'm on vacation.

In the mornings, I'll admire the art, and in the afternoons, I'll work at the infirmary.

Of course, I'll always come help at a moment's notice in the event of an emergency.

I won't demand payment for my services...

But I would certainly appreciate it if you could at least waive my entry fees.

Um... I'm not sure if

Considering how many visitors this museum gets, I would think you'd want as many doctors on call as you can get.

All right, I accept your proposal.

Hey, you hear about the ghosts?

Ghosts? What ghosts?

So then, you don't know about the voices you can sometimes hear in the Holy Grail exhibit?

Those ain't ghosts. That's just the security detail the curator hired, right?

Not that I've ever seen them while I'm on patrol.

I'm telling you, man, those're the ghosts.

They're in that room twenty-four seven, and there ain't even a bathroom in there.

...Y'know, this museum's pretty weird in a lotta ways.

I been to a few other museums over the years, and I ain't never seen one with guards armed like us.

I heard some things about that Holy Grail, too. Apparently

Ahem. I don't believe I pay you two to stand around chatting all day.

Or is there so little for you to do that you can occupy yourselves in no other fashion?

W-we're sorry, sir! It won't happen again, sir!

Hmph. Lazy good-for-nothings.

... ...

!

... ...Is someone there?

Hmph.

(I don't think he saw me... So it must have just been a hunch.)

(I suspected this guy was no ordinary curator, but he might be even more trouble than I thought.)

Let's see... This belonged to Iskandar. And this is a relic from Sparta.

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But this isn't really Achilles's shield. It's a fake.

Oh, and this is

U-um, excuse me, young man.

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You mean me?

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I have to ask you not to say things like that. That is indeed Achilles's real shield.

It was excavated by a team of archaeologists and authenticated by trained expe

But it doesn't match the poem.

...Huh?

Whoever made this probably wanted to recreate the shield as it's described in "The Iliad."

But the two cities drawn on the shield are supposed to contrast each other.

Contrast?

One city is supposed to represent peace by showing weddings and court trials.

The other is supposed to represent war, with disturbing images of blood and violence.

But both of the cities depicted here are at peace, even though Ares and Athena, the gods of war, are on the shield.

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I'm guessing whoever made this shield probably did this on purpose, just to have some fun.

See? If you look closely around the cities

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Aah. But don't worry! It's still a really nice shield!

Around the cities...? ...Oh. So this is what he was talking about.

The writing is tiny, but...it actually says "LOVE & PEACE."

You know...in English. ...Now what are we going to do?

Did I say something I shouldn't have?

Oh good.

Uh-huh.

I figured our disguise would work best if we did whatever we felt like.

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Hey, you there. How about a freshly fried doughnut for your little brother?

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Looks yummy!

Hehe, it really is freshly fried. It's yummy, isn't it, Brother?

Do you think we really do look like siblings?

You think? I hope you're right.

Thanks, Master.

I'm really happy I have an older brother like you, too.

You're nothing like someone else I could name...

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Come to think of it, I wonder when this Singularity is taking place?

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Gotcha.

I wonder if I'm up there in space.

Somewhere far, far away from here.

And if I am, I wonder if I could see the Pale Blue Dot.

I find myself thinking about that kind of thing sometimes.

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Thanks, Master.

This is nice. I think there's a word that fits this feeling perfectly.

A word that means something really lovely and wistful all at the same time.

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That's it. Romantic.

...You know, Master.

Whenever you hear the word "romantic," you always look really happy and really lonely all at once.

There you two are.

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Hi, Mr. Sanson. What's up?

I'm just taking a short break.

They're very short-staffed here, so it takes a lot out of me just to stay on top of things.

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That said, the work itself is quite fulfilling, though a little nerve-racking too.

I do have some knowledge of modern medicine, but many of my medical skills are somewhat...unorthodox.

I'm sure. You never did get your medical license.

Hahaha, don't let the museum hear you say that.

On a different subject...while I do understand the logic in stealing the Grail, since we can't take it by force...

I also can't help but feel a little conflicted about the whole thing...ethically speaking.

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No, it's not that. If anything, I'm in favor of this plan.

It's just that...something about it is bugging me. No, that's not right, either.

Maybe "thrilling" is a better word for it?

It's like, I know this is wrong, but I can't stop myself from doing it. In fact, I don't even want to.

Exactly.

...I am, if I'm being honest.

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I know stealing is cowardly. It's also illegal and immoral.

But when we actually have a moral obligation to steal the object in question, as we do here, and we're putting together an intricate plan to do so...

Well, that just...makes it all very exciting.

It reminds me of Arsène Lupin, the legendary thief, and how his stories still thrill people to this day.

...Ahem.

Anyway, I'd better get back to work. See you later.

I think today went well. Do you think so too, Master?

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Good idea. I can't wait to lie down on that nice, soft bed!