How To Spend a Holiday

Phew... M-my goodness, that was really something. My heart is still pounding.

Hehe, it was, wasn't it?

I had no idea a water slide could be so fast.

It surprised me so much I nearly cried out like a small child!

Oh, don't be silly, Lady Raikou. You're as calm and composed as ever.

Hehehehe.

You, on the other hand, really need to tone it down with the screaming, Kaorucchi.

Huh!?

You were so loud I thought I might go deaf.

C-come on, Nagiko! I'm sure I wasn't screaming THAT much!

Wahahaha!

You two really are wonderful friends, aren't you?

I can see you have an unbreakable unspoken connection.

Thth-that's not true at all, Lady Raikou!

We do not have a special, deep connection or anything like that! We are just Servants who share the same Master.

Now, just as when we were alive, our relationship is merely one of friendly competition which drives us to improve ourselves as writers.

That is to say, we're rivals! Nothing more!

Whaaa...? I don't wanna bother with anything like that. It's waaay too much trouble. Can we just say you won, Kaorucchi?

There you go again!!!

Hehehe. As the saying goes, the closer you are, the more comfortable you are with arguing.

You two are just utterly adorable.

Yooo! You three!

You guys must be, like, seriously parched after all that screaming. How 'bout you come grab a drink?

Ahh, that was delicious. This warm tea was just what I needed after getting as cold as the pool was.

Thank you, Lady Suzuka.

Just 'cause it's summer doesn't mean you always gotta have a cold drink. Sometimes, a hot one's what you really want.

Hehe, how do you like them apples? Pretty fresh, yeah?

Hell yeah, Suzuka-paisen! Totes fresh!

Oh, can I get a refill? But make it a little hotter this time, please.

Get it yourself! Just 'cause I'm being all considerate doesn't mean I'm, like, your maid!

Aw man...

Now I wish I'd gone back and gotten a swimsuit for myself.

U-um, you could always rent one, Lady Suzu

Um, no. No way.

When I get into a hot spring, I wear nothing. And I only wear swimsuits I've chosen myself for their serious drip.

Like, the whole reason I came here was 'cause I heard there were hot springs...

But now it's, like, literally just a heated pool! I didn't come here for a pool!

Oof. Super sorry about that. For real.

I swear I just forgot to tell you. Plus, I was busy making sweet buns.

Hmph...

I guess you guys had a lot on your plates and stuff, so I can let it slide just this once.

Whoa, thanks!

Man, Paisen, you're so nice! You've got a heart as big as Lake Biwa!

Khh... Just remember this.

One summer, I'm gonna find the most eye-popping swimsuit ever, and nobody's gonna be able to take their eyes off me!

It really is a shame. I wish you could swim with us too, Lady Suzuka.

I must say...

...having so large a facility all to ourselves...

...is such a dreadful waste.

What are you saying, Lady Raikou!?

With how busy your managerial duties always keep you, why do you think we reserved this place for ourselves?

After you told us you'd never been anywhere like this before, we couldn't let you go another day without experiencing it for yourself.

What she said.

We rented this whooole place out so you could relax and have some fun, Rikopin.

So today, we're gonna help you forget aaall about your work and make sure you just have tons of fun!

So, like, okay, you're SAYING that. But I'm preeetty sure you just rented the whole pool...

...so you could really cut loose without worrying about anyone else being around to see.

...Bahahahaha! Figured us out, did you!?

I-I, um... N-no comment.

Hehehehe.

Well, since we're here, I can't very well let you have all the fun yourselves!

I'll show you! I'm going to make sure I enjoy every second of this break as much as possible!!!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! You don't gotta get THAT hyped up, Rikopin.

I mean, there's no rush, right?

Since there's nobody else here, you guys can just, like, really kick back and do it at your own pace.

Oh, I know.

How about we enjoy a nice, relaxing float all around the pool?

You could even take a floating pool lounge and join us, Lady Suzuka.

I think that's a great idea!

Floating around the pool on a lounger and reading a book...

...sounds like an absolutely perfect vacation to me.

Hm, not bad, but...it feels like it's missing something.

You don't mind at least getting your feet wet, right, Paisen? So how 'bout we play catch where it's shallow?

Hell yeah, I'm down! Pools are, like, one of THE top summer hangouts!

You want to play catch? In a pool?

Coming in hot, Kaorucchi!

G-got it! Lady Raikou!

Ahh, now I see. The goal is to keep the game going without dropping the ball in the pool.

This reminds me of kemari.

Tempting as it may be to look up to the ball, you must remember that your feet are surrounded by water. If you aren't careful, you'll lose your balance...

This is absolutely delightful! It would have been just wonderful training for Kintoki when he was little.

Ugh, c'mon. No one's talking about training! Why you always gotta make everything about working out!?

What do you mean? Training is very important.

Your armor slows you down even more than usual in water, and your sword feels heavier, too. Getting accustomed to that feeling of extra weight is crucial!

Naval battles were already a common occurrence during Lord Yoshitsune's time...

...so it is important to always be ready to fight off attackers, no matter the time or place?

Neither Kintoki nor Tsuna ever took their training seriously enough for my liking. Both of them always gave up at a mere fifty meters.

Only fifty? Huh, weird. I figured those two could swim way better than that.

That's not a bad record by any means, but yes, it is surprising for a Genji warrior.

Both Lord Kintoki and Lord Tsuna have always possessed extraordinary physical abilities, after all.

Hm?

Oh, no, I meant diving, not swimming.

They would put on full armor and swim fifty meters down to the bottom of the sea.

Fifty meters DOWN!?

And with armor on!? The hell are you Genji people made of, anyway!?

Hmm, yeah, I'd say being able to swim under any circumstance IS a pretty important skill.

Anyone who can't swim when they're tied up just ends up as fish food if they get tossed in the ocean.

Hmm, good point. I'm used to being on boats, but I sure wouldn't want to be fish food.

I'm struggling to imagine a situation where I'd be tied up and tossed in the sea, though.

Probably nothing good, right? Man, this right here is why I can't stand pirating.

I don't know. That sure makes it sound like pirates are awesome. I mean, there's nowhere to escape when you're at sea, right?

I know I feel a lotuh, somewhat less anxious when I've got two feet on solid ground.

... ...

Um, excuse me. Where did those male voices come from?

We're Blackbeard's Pirates!

We just wanna have fun with girls!

Who decided we were Blackbeard's Pirates?

Uh... Hey. Sorry for barging in like this.

Oh, look. Three of the Five Dummies. 'Sup, dummies.

Hey! We aren't dummies! And, no. Before you say it, we aren't nitwits either!

Aww, what's up, Beardie? You came here to hang out with us?

Nah. Just passing by.

See? This flyer posted outside the entrance says "Pool Reserved for Chaldea," right?

So I, quite reasonably I might add, assumed you're just hidden it from us on purpose...

...so you could hold an "Eee! Ufufu! Mucho, mucho!" kind of event all by yourselves!

And if you were, what choice did we have but to crash your party!?

But when I took a peek inside, I saw you ladies having a grand old time...

...so we figured we'd just slip on in and enjoy the festivities as well.

Sorry, but like, no entry without permission.

For the record, Mandricardo and I aren't with him.

We just came here to stop Beardie when we saw him charging in on his own.

But then, well, you guys did look like you were really enjoying yourselves, so...

Sometimes you go with the flow, and sometimes the flow carries you off...

Heh.

Looks like you're on your way to mastering the Nitwit Way, Ricacchi.

Huh!? I-I, uh, guess so...

Um, why do you look happy about that?

Now that you mention it, Lord Teach, we did put up that flyer, didn't we?

I suppose it's no surprise that "Reserved for Chaldea" might give the wrong impression.

I'm terribly sorry for the misunderstanding, but you see... Um...

Look, guys, the party today is just for us Heian gals, okay? So get lost!

What!? No fair! We want to Waku Waku Zabuun, too!

Bahahaha! You're adorable, Beardie!

I don't really mind if you guys join us. But what about you, Rikopin?

I see no issue.

As I said earlier, this place is much too big for just the four of us. You're all welcome to use it.

However, Lord Blackbeard... I don't want you getting up to any mischief, understand?

But of course, Genji Lady.

I've never been involved in any mischief in all my life, or my name isn't Edward Teach.

Damn, I'm impressed. There's thick skin, and then there's freakin' titanium plating for skin.

Wait... Uh, is this maybe going to be a problem?

What's the matter, Lord Mandricardo?

Well, uh, I was just thinking that, since Blackbeard took that flyer down...

...other visitors might not realize this place is supposed to be closed to the public today.

Pooooool!

Woooooo!

Oh my!

Our peaceful pool retreat has become a full-blown party in a matter of moments.

Heh. Hehehe...

Uh... R-Raikou? Everything okay? You're kinda scaring me.

I see that I will not have the time to simply relax and enjoy summer vacation after all.

Not when...

Her!

And her!

And even them!

They are ALL dressed unacceptably! They believe they can show all the skin they want just because it's summer!

I will not stand for it! I absolutely WILL NOT stand for it!

(Is that...really worth worrying about at this point?)

(Well, we managed to convince her swimsuits were a necessity in a hot spring.)

(I'm afraid that, now that this has become more of a liberated summer party, Lady Raikou has reached her limit.)

(That is to say...her exposure cap!)

(Exposure cap?)

Just look at all these people getting carried away with their summer wildness, flouting public decency! NO MORE!

Not on THIS shadow prefect's watch!

Oh no. She's in full Prefect Mode!!!

You there! No diving!

Children, keep to the kiddy pool! The deep pool is for grown-ups.

You! The delinquents flouting public decency left and right!

Unacceptable!

Unacceptable!!!

Absolutely unacceptable!!!

Is it just me, or is Rikopin kind of...glowing?

Oh yeah. She's, like, waaay more into this than she was hanging out. Kinda makes me wonder why I bothered.

I thought giving Lady Raikou a chance to forget about work and just relax would be a good idea...

...but I suppose she didn't need the break. She WAS the leader of the Genji for a reason.

She is the perfect embodiment of the philosophy of always conducting oneself as if one were on the battlefield. She's always ready, no matter the time of place.

That's the thing though.

I always thought of her as this crazy scary Genji lady, but after I got to know her, I couldn't help but worry.

The whole reason we set up this girls' day out was to give us all a chance to cut loose and have some good, silly fun, but...

I guess she, like, just doesn't need our help.

Besides, every Servant takes their Servanthood differently.

Raikou's just...like this.

Hmm...

Nagiko?

... ...

Eh, so what if she doesn't need our help!? She might be the shadow prefect, but I'M a real delinquent!

Heh heh heh...

If this is how it's gonna be, Minamoto-no-Raikou, then I'm not stopping until you've had a real summer vacation!

Oh no. I know that look! She's definitely up to no good!

So this is the artificial beach...

And you said someone who seemed likely to disturb public decency was headed this way, yes?

Y-yes, that's right!

Someone who looked like the very definition of a party person, and who was almost certainly up to no good!

Someone either unable or unwilling to act appropriately in almost any situation!

Someone who keeps jerking people around without ever listening to a word they have to say!

Someone blessed with literary talent, but who would rather spend every day lounging about instead of writing anything new!

W-well, I guess you're not wrong...

I see...

Your description may not give me a clear idea of who we are seeking, but I can tell we need to do something about whoever this is.

However, I don't sense anyone besides us nearby. Now, where could this person be hiding...?

Oh? You're all here too, huh?

Oh, I know! Why don't we have a barbecue so we can...get to know each other bett

There he is!!!

W-wait, no!

Whoa, whoa. I don't know what's going on, but we're just here 'cause we were invited here.

I'm guessing you guys were too.

Also looks like whoever invited us here hasn't shown up yet.

Shadduuup!!!

Heh hehehe...

Looks like everyone's here. Little did you know...

...that you've walked right into my trap!

L-Lady Nagiko? What is the meaning of this?

Are YOU the partying, public decency-flouting good-for-nothing who refuses to write anything new!?

Wait... Is that what you think of me?

Well...I guess that's pretty accurate?

Just gonna roll with it, huh?

Never mind that now!

Rikopin... No. Shadow Prefect Minamoto-no-Raikou!

I challenge you to a duel!

Wha

If I win, then...

...you've gotta change Hawaiian Genji into a night-time only pool called "Now Go On!"

Hehehe... Then, once it's overrun with bikini babes and party peeps, I'm gonna drag Chan-mas and Blondy right into the thick of it...

Whoa. That sounds...incredible.

Absolutely...

NOT! U-unacceptable! That is unacceptable, Lady Nagiko!

Even if it weren't, you seem to have forgotten that I'M the one in charge of this area!

... ...

Why not? I don't see the harm.

Lady Skadi!?

Hehehe... As you can see, I've already won over the big boss.

So now, if you want to stop me, you'll just have to beat me!

I-I, um...

I'm sorry, Lady Nagiko, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around the situation.

Exactly what form did you wish for our duel to take?

What else!?

Dodgeball!!!

!!!

Um... What's dodgeball?

... ...

Okay, time out!

So the court is divided into an inner section and outer section, and...

...I see. So even if one is eliminated, they still have a chance to come back...

Game on!

All right. I understand how to play dodgeball now.

But, setting that aside for a moment...

Hey! Nagiko! I get the idea here, but you realize it's six of us versus one of you, right?

You're not planning to take us all on alone, are you?

...If you'd like some help, I could always join your team.

(No, wait. Maybe it would be better to stay here and sabotage this team from within...)

The one with the beard is totes up to something.

What do you guys think? Should we, like, make him go over to Nagiko's team?

Hmm...

I'd be nervous having him on our side, but he can also be a pretty formidable enemy when he wants to be...

So how're we supposed to decide then?

Don't worry about me, Beardie. I've got my own team all ready to go.

Team Nagiko, assembleee!

Wahahahahaha! It's about time I got a turn!

I'm worth at least a hundred ordinary dodgeball players! With me on your side, you can't lose!

Can you at least TRY not tempting fate? Just once?

One hit from Lady Raikou and I just know I'll be coughing up blood, so I'm counting on you to defend me like we planned, Nobbu!

I know, I know. Just leave it all to me!

(Crossing her fingers)

(Yeah, she's gonna use me as a Servant shield...)

Ahahahahaha!

Heh heh heh... All the shaved ice I can eat, huh? That's quite the promise.

Goodbye, days spent chipping my own ice from the North Pole and eating it with vinegar and soy sauce! Hello, proper shaved ice!

...Huh? Wait a sec... Won't I still be living on nothing but shaved ice?

... ...

Wha... Is that

... ...

Um, excuse me, but, aren't you Watana

I don't know who that is.

I am Dodgeball Machine 1, a man who has dedicated all his life to honing his throwing power with dodgeballs.

Hehe, and I'm Dodgeball Machine 2! I ain't never met you before in my life, Lady Kaoruko!

(That's so obviously the Genji guys...)

Dodgeball Machines! Who in the world could they be?

(The masks were really all it took?)

... ...

Lady Nagiko.

You and I have been working side by side all this time, so I don't understand why we need to fight now.

But you must have a good reason for having gone to all this trouble.

That's the kind of person you are.

And so it would be rude of me to refuse this clearly serious competition.

So if I win, I would like you...

...to explain to me why we are doing this, okay?

Heh.

Works for me. I'll give you aaall the tea, while also giving you some actual tea or something.

But don't feel like you need to hold back, Rikopin! Come at me with everything you've got!

I'd appreciate it if you mostly aimed at Machine 2 though!

Why me!?

All right guys, let's...

PLAY BAAALL!!!

Haaa!!!

Aaaaaargh!!!

Hraaah!!!

Aaaaaargh!!!

This ain't over yet!

Oh man. What a mess.

Wasn't this supposed to be, like, a vacation? 'Cause this is literally the furthest possible thing from that.

Hehehe, yes, I suppose it is.

But look at Lady Raikou's face, Lady Suzuka.

... ...

Oh, huh... She's smiling.

(A single hit means death. One must be ever vigilant for the brief window of opportunity in which to strike back.)

(This tension which can be felt only in the space between life and death...)

(I bear my opponents no hatred or malice. My only thoughts are of defeating them.)

(That much is true for every battle.)

(But...)

(This is clearly different from a fight to the death. It's)

Heh. Hehe. Lady Nagiko!

Yeah?

I... I...

I'm having the time of my life!!!

Wheee! That's great!

No it's nooot!

Ahh, that was fun...

But I cannot let myself indulge in such frivolity all the time.

And I certainly could never allow Kintoki or Tsuna to see me behaving in such an unladylike manner.

... ...

Say, where did the Dodgeball Machines go?

I didn't get a chance to thank them for the match.

... ...

Hey, Brother Tsuna.

Raikou really didn't know that was us...right?

No, she didn't.

Those disguises Lord Emiya made for us were perfect. She could not possibly have seen through them.

All that aside...

When we came to see how she was doing, I certainly never expected to be dragged into something like this.

...I'm sorry, Brother.

Oh?

Don't blame Kiyoko. She's always been like that.

So why are you apologizing?

Well, never mind. It's all right.

She gave us a chance to see something wonderful.

...Yeah! That was golden!

'Course, if Raikou ever found out we saw her laughin' and playin' like a little kid...

...she'd be so embarrassed she'd probably bring the lightning down right on our heads!

Are you speaking metaphorically, or do you think she would use her Noble Phantasm?

I wouldn't wanna be there for it in either case!

All right...

What do you say we go visit another area!?