The Oni of the 90th Floor

Mwaha, mwahahahaha! I commend you for making it this far!

？！

Oh, crap. I forgot I was still holding her. Um, lemme try that again. I'll just put you down here...

Now where were we... Hehahahaha! Yes, it is I, Ibaraki-Douji! The leader of the Mt. Ooe oni!

What...did you just put down there?

？！

A life-sized Shuten body pillow. SO!?

...

Now that you mention it, I can see there's several of them scattered around the floor. There even seems to be a bunch of wall scrolls...

Heh. Jealous? Want some? Too bad, they're all mine.

Obviously I didn't make any of them. It was all Shuten. Crafts, souvenirs, you name it...

She only made one at first, but when I asked her for more, she was kind enough to oblige!

Yep! Shuten has been reeeally nice during this whole adventure! It's...actually kinda scary, really...

So Shuten-Douji made these herself, did she? Interesting. Maybe I should see if there's a market for my own line of Da Vinci merch...

When I asked her about it, she smiled cruelly and told me:

"Just be as much of an oni as you can, sweetie. Show them you're having the time of your life. If you need anything from me to help you do that, I'll get it for you."

Do you know what this means? It means she knows exactly what to do to get under your skin!

(She's using the body pillow like a ventriloquist's dummy...!)

Of course, as everyone knows, my greatest joy is simply being together with Shuten.

But since she has to stay on the tippy-top floor, I had her make all these to keep me company.

BEHOLD! Feast your eyes upon this!

I now have enough Shuten-Douji, terror of Kyoto, to make my own baseball team!

Truly there can be no sight more hellish than this... I daresay I may even have gone a bit overboard.

But that is not all. I also have this candy! See how it is red as blood, and soft as a fresh liver!

Heh, no doubt the mere sight of it fills you with dread... That is because it is Shuten candy made by Shuten herself.

Even I shudder to think what went into it! Now...I shall do this!

Mmm.

What do you think of THAT!?

I have no response to any of this.

Wh-why is it not working? I just showed you I was having the time of my life.

...It had to be just like that on the lower floors, too...

They must have shown you how fun it is to be an oni, just as Shuten planned.

...

I can sense it. I have a feeling that something may have happened to some other version of me, but no matter. I can sense it nonetheless.

Since I'm an oni leadNo! Since I'm an oni whose mommy raised her to be a credit to our bloodline...

...I can tell that I should invite you to join us!

That's why I've been showing you how much fun it is to be an oni! So...why didn't it work?

...I can sense something between us too. No doubt another you and another I must have had some sort of connection.

Hmm. So you can feel it, but you still don't want to join us? That makes even less sense!

...What in the world ARE you?

I...

I'm not asking out of malice! I just genuinely don't get it. You...you're

Silence. I...I must hurry on to the next floor. That is all I can say.

Hehehe. Hahaha. Yes, that's it. That's how it SHOULD be.

Now I finally understand. I see there's something in you I that I really get.

When there is something you want, you take it by any means necessary. That is what it means to be an oni. If only you had shown that part of yourself sooner

I said SILENCE! I...I'm not like you!

？！

I agree, Master. We have no choice but to engage in combat!

Hahaha, why choose anything else? Again, it's the way of the oni to take things by force!

Here, I am surrounded by Shuten at every turn!

S-sometimes, the real Shuten even gets bored and comes down to pretend to be one of her own body pillows! It's the scariest thing EVER!

Now, I will have you experience the wonders of this paradise for yourselves, whether you want to or not!

Oogh...

Grrrrrr!

Oh, forget it! I don't care anymore!

Just don't come crying to me when you finally realize how awesome we oni really are and decide you want to join us, you big jerk! Jerk...jerk...! (Echo)

Ibaraki-Douji has run away! She's as quick to make her escape as ever!

That is how oni are. They are contemptible creatures, loyal only to their own selfish desires...

...

Come, Master, let us be on our way. We only have ten floors left to go.

？！

Hehe, please do not concern yourself with me. I think I more or less understand the situation now.

All I need do now is make my way to the top floor and settle things with Shuten-Douji.

Indeed... I am the only one who can.

How generous of General Setsubun to provide us with hot springs and liquor.

It would be rude not to partake of what is offered. If our general has invited us to relax, we cannot refuse.

Besides, all work and no play is no way to live. Now come, Lord Yagyuu, let me pour you a drink.

...Very well. You have my thanks.

I shall provide the snacks. Have all you like. I brought an entire barrel of them with me.

...I see. Most kind of you.

Hmm... Pickles, eh. To think that pickles would still be enjoyed hundreds of years after my time. How about you, honored monk?

I am a monk, and so must not imbibe alcohol, but... Oho, if it isn't wisdom water. I can make an exception for that. I think I shall have some pickles as well.

Well now, this is delicious! These pickles in particular have been soaked in soy sauce as well. I must say, I am pleasantly surprised to find out how well pickles taste in a hot bath instead of near a roaring fire!

Of course. If something tastes good, it'll taste good wherever you eat it. By the hearth, in bed, anywhere. Also, pickles are very easy to eat anywhere.

Judging from the voices coming from the women's bath, it seems they have chosen to pair their liquor with noisy chatter.

Hehe. Whereas we in the men's bath clearly prefer to enjoy our alcohol in silence.

Hmm, perhaps too MUCH silence. Given the luxurious springs we find ourselves in, the more drinking partners we have, the better.

Come, let us invite those two over there to

Don't bother. It is clear they are in no mood to socialize.

Oni...

It is true that oni will one day walk the earth aga On second thought, I shall refrain from saying anything.

Oni, huh... You know, folks called me all manner of nasty names when I was a kid, but "oni" was never one of them...

As an adult... Well, that is another matter.

Indeed. By the time the shogunate came to an end, the word "oni" had all but disappeared from our language.

Even if oni themselves had not.

Oh?

They were enough a part of everyday life that we would frequently hope not to encounter one on the battlefield.

Hmm. I suppose feeling that oni truly did exist is something unique to our particular stations.

Heroes from the West seem to have little idea of them.

It is similar to how we are unmoved by dragons and demons.

They may be unusual creatures, but I cannot think of them as any more fantastical than lions and tigers.

Indeed.

...Perhaps samurai from a time before our own would find them more impressive.

The ones who did battle with oni in order to keep their cities safe. Or perhaps their children and grandchildren.

We cannot fathom what such samurai would think were they to see this oni tower reaching up to the heavens.

Perhaps they would be unwilling or unable to set foot in it, knowing all too well what horrors may lie within.

Whether they act or not is no more within our control than the clouds covering the moon. All we can do is drain our glasses and bear witness to whatever the outcome may be...

Excuse me...

...

Um... Lord KinI mean, Golden...?

...

Lord Golden!

Whoa! What's up, Fuuma? Why you gotta go shoutin' in my ear like that?

I-I'm sorry. I tried to get your attention several times, but it seemed you couldn't hear me.

It looked like you might be sleeping, so I thought I should wake you up to stop you from drowning...

Nah, I wasn't sleepin'. Guess I musta been spacin' out somethin' fierce if ya thought I was, though. My bad.

...Is everything all right, Lord Golden?

Huh? Whadda ya mean by that?

You've just seemed somewhat...restless, lately.

It's actually been nagging at me for some time how you've, er...

...been staying at these hot springs for so long.

What I mean is...you've hardly been involved in climbing the tower at all since we got here. Are you all right?

Ah... Well, I s'pose I ain't exactly feelin' my best, so...

...

Aw, hell. Might as well just tell ya. Lemme give it to ya straight: I can't climb that tower.

!?

You know how it tires different people out in different ways?

Well, it looks like it's set up to tire me out super golden.

Set up, you say...?

That's right. I'm guessin' Shuten set it up that way on purpose when she was puttin' the thing together.

Far as I can tell, General Raikou's the only other one affected so strongly. Maybe not quite as bad as me, though.

Knowin' Raikou, I bet she's goin' back and forth between the bath and the tower so she can keep fightin'...

...but the tower affects me so golden much I can't even do that. So here I am, takin' it easy in the hot springs.

Sorry I can't help you guys out with this one.

N-not at all, Lord Golden. You have nothing to apologize for.

The assault on the tower is going well thanks to everyone's help. I'm even told that Master will soon reach the top floor, so you have nothing to worry about.

That aside... Why would Shuten-Douji set the tower to affect you so strongly...?

Hah, ain't it obvious? 'Cause she doesn't wanna see me.

Um... What do you mean...?

Shuten and Ibaraki, well... They are true oni.

Up till now, the only thing we had in common was bein' Servants to the same Master.

That's why we all had ta keep the peace if we ran into each other.

I mean, it makes sense. There's only one Master ta go around, after all.

But, there's an exception ta every rule. Times when there ain't no peace to be kept.

When it comes to me and oni, if we ever ended up on opposin' sides, well...don't matter one damn bit if we still serve the same Master or not.

We'd hafta kill each other. That's the way it is, and the way it oughta be.

They're human-eatin' oni, and me? I swore ta keep humans safe from the likes of them.

Even if we're all just shadows of our livin' selves, that ain't ever gonna change.

...

(Yeah, that's right...)

(That's right. If we forget about who we are, about what happened...all those people's tears'll be for nothin'...)

So, Shuten-Douji is preventing you from climbing the tower so that you don't have to kill each other?

That sounds awfully...human of her, for lack of a better word.

Nah, it ain't that. Them oni, they know the score as well as I do.

If they really saw me and Raikou as enemies, they'd wanna fight. Be stupid not to.

Huh? But then, in that case...

Yup. It's pretty much their way of sayin' they don't see us as enemies at all.

They're just crankin' up this exhaustion stuff as a way of tellin' General Raikou and me to butt out.

Basically, they don't want me or her ta be the ones makin' it ta the top of the tower.

This time 'round, I'm just a benchwarmer. That's why I'm stayin' here and stickin' ta the sidelines.

Maybe if I'm lucky, a bear'll show up and I'll get to kill some time facin' off with it sumo style.

So, that would mean there's someone else that Shuten-Douji wants to make it to the top of the tower. But who...?

C'mon, Evil-wind Kotarou. I'm sure you can figure it out.

There's someone here who's got oni blood in 'em just a little bit more than you...