Section 2: Father Check 2/Promises Kept on Off Days

Lots of dolls and other toys around here. Looks like it's supposed to be a kid's room.

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Yes?

Of course I can. Most modern mages can drive cars. Only weirdos still use flying brooms in this day and age.

License?

...Right. My license. Yep.

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Stop trying to peek at my face. You're supposed to be keeping an eye on the map from the passenger's seat.

...Look. You know how different countries have different laws for getting a driver's license, right?

Well, this isn't your country; its laws don't apply here.

So don't worry about it. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

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At the very least, you can assume I know enough about driving that the director's not criticizing my technique.

...Looks like we'll be at the next checkpoint soon. We should probably wake him up.

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Nnn... (Smack, smack...) I couldn't eat another bite...

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Oh, sure, it's fine. This is no big deal at all.

I admit, it would be nice if he dropped a few pounds. I am a delicate fairy prince, no?

I'd rather not support people heavier than me if I can help it.

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Hahaha. Well then, don't mind if I do.

Nnn... Ahem. Good morning, everyone.

It was a quick catnap, but it was quite refreshing nonetheless.

It even felt like I was sleeping on a luxurious pillow. That may well have been one of the best, deepest sleeps of my life.

...Ah. Right. When I try to annoy people, I always just accomplish the opposite, don't I?

Scientists do say the rocking motion of vehicles like this helps people fall asleep.

It's not too different from the way candle flames flicker, so it might even have some magecraft connections.

Not what I meant, but never mind.

At any rate, it's great he had a restful sleep and dreams, even under these circumstances. I guess humans are just like that.

Okay...

Well, anyway, we're almost there. Be ready to get out of the car.

Welcome, everyone, to the second checkpoint.

Let's not waste any time, shall we? Come on. The venue's right this way.

Huh. This looks like something more out of science fiction than fantasy. What is it we'll be doing here?

I'm so glad you asked. The theme for the Second Father Check is...

"Perfect fathers always take their children out to play on their days off!"

I believe that speaks for itself.

While I'm sure children would appreciate this, the older a papa gets...

...the more I can't help but feel a father would prefer his days off to be...well, days off.

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Sounds like another pretty narrowly defined theme... Think I get what you're going for, though.

I don't. For fairies, every day is a day off. Our only job is to have fun.

See that device in the middle of the room? It's kind of like a simulator.

When someone touches that ball of light, it'll project whatever environment that person is imagining onto this room.

Think of it as an extremely immersive VR machine.

Between your memories and imagination, you can make all kinds of different worlds and any lore you can cook up.

So your job here is to use it to make a world that will earn you the highest score possible.

Well, go on then. Show me where the perfect papa would take me on they rare day off.

Well, if I had a child...

...I'd want to take them to famous racetracks like Monaco, Dakar, and Suzuka.

Hehe, you're never too young to learn how wonderful motorsports can be.

A gifted child deserves an education befitting those gifts.

I'm not looking to trash anyone's hobbies here...

...but I kind of think taking your kid to a racetrack is a questionable call.

Buuut, I don't have any better ideas myself.

I have no idea where kids would go to enjoy themselves.

Even speaking from my own experiences, the Zemlupus family was a completely average mage family, and things weren't exactly looking up for us.

So, yeah, you probably don't need me to tell you what my childhood was like.

And as I just explained, we don't even have the concept of a day off in the spirit world, so I'm not even going to attempt this.

So I think it all comes down to you, Fujimaru.

You had a pretty normal life growing up, all things considered, right?

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Excellent point. Your ordinary background could be just the thing we need here, Fujimaru. I leave this in your hands.

No objections here.

Just pick a place you think would be a good spot for a father to take his kid on his day off.

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'Kaaay.

Once you've decided where to go, just place your hand on that sphere and picture it in your mind.

And don't worry. The system I made for this is absolutely perfect...

...so even if your imagination isn't quite up to the task, it'll naturally fill in the gaps to make it more realistic.

Ooh!

So this is where you wanted to take me, Father? An amusement park.

It's so lively, so colorful, and there's so many rides... I think I'm going to have lots of fun here!

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Looks that way. I don't know much about these kinds of places, but the decorations here seem like something out of a fairy tale too, right?

It blends right in with the rest of the board game world outside. Might be a good fit for her.

I find the whole place a bit nauseating, myself.

Really? Even though you haven't even gone on the merry-go-round? Or the teacups?

There's just so much fake fairy stuff here, it's kind of embarrassing.

Fujimaru, say you went to visit a country on the other side of the world...

...and they treated you in all sincerity like a cultural stereotype and admired you for it.

Wouldn't you be uncomfortable precisely because you know what things are really like back home?

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Oh? What's that?

Hey, it's a clown!

(...Is that what that is?)

Ooh, look at him juggle! He's really good at it!

Wow! Did you see that!? That box he threw just disappeared!

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Wooow! That was amazing!

Heeheehee, thank you oh so much for the kind words!

Please, stick around and enjoy the other illusions this humble clown has to offer!

All right, now that the show is over...

...I'd like you all to give till it hurts!

"Give till it hurts"?

Allow me to explain. Street performers like this clown often ask for small change as a form of compensation for the entertainment they provide.

Here, I've got some coins. Why don't you go over and give these to him yoursel

Thank you, thank you very much! That'll be one hundred million QP puh-leeease! Heeheeheehee!

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If you don't have enough cash, I also take checks.

Are you nuts!? We can't possibly pay that!

Oh? Oh? Ohh?

Well, that won't do. Can't have people watching shows for free!

You need to be nice to clowns, you know.

Otherwise, there's no telling when one of us might call your name from the gutter and take you somewhere...special.

Oh, this? This is just my ticking time bomb. A little encore magic trick for you.

What's it going to blow to pieces when it goes off? Stick around and see! Heeheeheee!

Aah! Fujimaru!

What were you thinking, including a freaky clown like this in your amusement park!?

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No point in bringing that up now. He's here, so we've just got to do something about him. Help us out, Oberon!

Hey, I think he's a great addition. The best fairy tales should be at least a little creepy, don't you think?

So we're back here now, huh. Looks like time ran out while we were fighting for our lives.

Sheesh. But, oh well. If my choices are figuring out what something as vague as what "the perfect father" means...

...or dealing with psychotic clowns, I will take the psycho clowns every time.

So, how did we do this time?

Take a look at your score card and you'll see.

Ta-da. Eighty-one points.

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Another oddly middling score... But, I suppose it is technically on the higher side, yes?

I'm wondering why it wasn't a perfect hundred, considering how happy she seemed.

Kazura, why did you dock us nearly twenty points? Was it because of that surprise clown?

Sorry, my scoring criteria is confidential.

Oh, incidentally, you've probably figured this out by now...

...but with the exception of that bug, you can only call on shadows of Servants in this world.

Did you really think I would ever allow you to summon Servants for real? Of course not.

Well, well. Bit of a coward, aren't we?

... ...

So, don't worry about that clown we just saw. Just think of it as something like an autonomously spawned AI-generated construct.

...Although, it's also possible the environment's creator ran into something similar at some point...

...and the system might have recreated that scene from their memory all by itself.

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Hmph, I swear. Why would anyone think psycho clowns belong in amusement parks?

Garbage ideas like that should be the first thing the system purges in a cleanup.

Anyway, that takes care of the second checkpoint!

Good luck with the next one!

(Fear... Bullying... Pleasure... I see what she's up to now.)

(Little wonder she's the Alter Ego of Compassion.)

(It's cute what she's going for...but cute things can also be among the cruelest.)