Section 3: Writer's Path

Andersen, my friend! My comrade in pens! Would you be so kind as to grab me a book from that mountain over there?

Are you just incapable of addressing someone without foisting friendship or whatnot upon them?

You know, on second thought, I don't have to do a damn thing for you. Get it yourself if you want it that badly.

That mountain of books is eerily well-balanced.

If I pull any one of them out, it'll cause a book-a-lanche that would certainly bury me alive and then come after you.

What a shame that is to hear! Though I must say, if you had to die, wouldn't being buried by books be the best way to go?

Don't be an idiot. I could never rest in peace if I went out like that.

I'm already killing myself to get these drafts done. If I have to die, I want it to be by something other than books for once.

Hmm, I see. I suppose that is one way in which you and I differ. You always put your life above all elseeven your stories!

Hmph. Guess it just goes to show that, unlike you, I'm not so happy-go-lucky as to want to filter everything that happens to me through the lens of comedy.

Anyway, what's that book you just finished reading there?

The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter. I plan on delving into The Tales of Ise next.

Oh? I didn't realize Far Eastern literature was your thing now, Lord Shakespeare. Hahaha, it's mine too, would you believe?

As you can see, I've most recently read the Kokinshu, the Gosenshu, and the Shuishu!

You don't say, Lord Caesar! What strange coincidences are these! Your choices do strike me as oddly lopsided, but never mind that!

I should have known a man of your grace would appreciate the finer pleasures of poetry.

Grace? Your ulterior motives couldn't be plainer if you had them tattooed to your foreheads, you boobs.

You just heard those are the widowed librarian's favorites and you're looking for a way to get into her ruffly skirt.

Other people's wives!

Are something special!

(Secret handshake)

...(Sigh) Sorry about that, guys. I can't always stop them from horsing around like that in here.

Horsing around?

Don't be absurd. I am Lu Bu, obviously.

What is Lu Bu doing reading books, you ask? Good question. All I can say is that...I am Lu Bu. Yup.

So if I read a book, that means Lu Bu reads it too. Do you understand my logic?

You're the one who's mistaken, Red Hare. I believe Lord Andersen was addressing Master, not us.

Good grief. So much for my idea to move to a real study instead of the simulator just so I could bring in real books.

It's so damn noisy in here I can't get anything done.

At this rate, I'd've been better off holing up in a hotel and working on a Little Mermaid sequel or something.

Eh, why bother. Anyone with half a brain could see the twist that she's actually half sea serpent coming a kilometer away.

Yes, it's very lively! Usually the study is kind of...quiet, but today it's like...well...

Uh, yes, it does!

Usually, it's just Andersen and Shakespeare in here, along with the occasional visit from Caesar...

But it's very lively in here today. It's almost like...uh...

？！

Neigh.

What were you going to say, young lady? That it's like a stable in here?

N-no, it's not that. I was going to say it's like...

...a writers' lounge...?

Oh, okay. Sorry about that. I ought to know better since I'm Lu Bu. Say, just out of curiosity, how do you feel about horses?

Horses? Well, uh...I think they have very gentle eyes.

Neigh hah!

Fou! Fooou!

Oh, sorry again. I was just so happy to hear that I couldn't help myself. Not that I have any connection to horses, of course, seeing as I'm Lu Bu and all!

Easy, Red Hare. Why don't you take a break and go have some of the feed I brought along? See, it's right over there.

Neigh-heeeigh!

...There are so many different Heroic Spirits here!

I had no idea there were any that resembled horses like that.

If I'd stayed in the library, I might have gone my entire manifestation without ever learning a thing.

And then there are all the different ways they interact with one another... What a moving sight.

And above all...

...it's such a thrill to see Heroic Spirits of the authors I admire go about their daily lives!

This is one of the luckiest days of my life! Well, of my manifestation, that is!

A-am I? Perhaps I am...

Ah!

I was so happy that I forgot myself...

？！

I was like this back when I was alive during the Heian period, too. I was always in awe of people who had proven their intelligence and talent through their beautiful poetry.

In fact, I would often introduce myself by saying, "Murasaki Shikibu, aka Fujiwara-no-Kaoruko! My mental age is 19 years old, and my type of man is anyone like Lord Ariwara-no-Narihira!"

N-Not that Ariwara-no-Narihira and I lived in the same time period, of course... He was a great source of inspiration for me, however.

Please, tell me more!

I would love to hear all about the day-to-day life of the Far East's most esteemed female author!

And I must say, it is fascinating to hear you speak in person! The very lilt of your voice is enough to stir my pen!

Oh yes. There truly is something special about women of nobility.

Your demeanor is exceptionally pleasant as well. You practically radiate poetic sentiment.

...Forgive me for being so brazen, but I have also heard rumors of your palace romances.

If you would be so kind, I would like nothing more than to interview you about the ups and downs of romance in Far Eastern noble society.

Oh? Does that mean your interest in her is purely professional, Lord Shakespeare?

Hahaha, not that it matters to me one way or the other, of course. Hahaha.

Hahaha! I believe you had best hold your tongue, friend, lest your dear wife make an unannounced appearance!

If you don't put a stop to this, they're going to go on leering forever. Go on. Speak up.

You cursing them out would go a long way toward keeping these fools in line.

O-oh no, I couldn't possibly! I'm...I'm just so honored to have such illustrious company take an interest in me.

... ...

Hm?

Well, um...

I know it's presumptuous of me, but if you should ever be inclined to write a new story...

...I was kind of hoping you might be willing to donate it to my library?

What, now that you're a Heroic Spirit, you fancy yourself an editor? Not that I don't understand how you feel!

This is a chance you won't ever find elsewhere! Not even in heaven or hell!

Believe me, whenever Shakespeare writes something new, I make sure to read it before anyone

...Never mind. I shouldn't have said that. There's something about you that makes me relax my guard. Maybe because you remind me of someone?

I...think that's enough of this. Yes. No more. This conversation is over.

Now, what are you lot doing here, anyway?

Surely you didn't come here just to see which of these idiots can embarrass themselves the worst.

What is it? Go on, spit it out.

A Cursed Book, huh. I guess I could see that happening with Eastern curses.

I don't mind sussing it out for you, but I barely even know any magecraft, let alone curses.

Likewise! Hahaha, after all, we are students of the pen, not the wand!

I'm not even a Caster!

There you have it. So if you want to turn the place upside down to look for this book, feel free.

I still haven't cleaned up here since the move, so it's not like you could mess it up more.

Okay! In that case, I'll just go ahead...

Fou, fooou!

Oh...! There ARE Cursed Books in this study! More than one, in fact!

I'm seeing their signals on my end, too! They're rapidly boosting their magical energy in response to your detection curse!

Look out, Senpai! They're about to take on physical form!

...I swear. How many times have I told you I don't do hard labor?

Now, Andersen don't be like that. I believe Master here is ordering us to help for our own sakes. Especially since we haven't partaken in the farming of Embers as of late!

In other words, a little exercise would do us good, eh? True, I suppose I have let myself go juuust a bit.

Besides, now that I think about it, this is an excellent opportunity to show off in front of a most exquisite lady! Two birds, one glorious stone!

Don't you worry about a thing, beautiful librarian. Just stand back and witness our prowess!!

？！

Okay!

Now's your chance, beautiful black-garbed lady!

Update: Red Hare heard the commotion and came back to help in the interval! Meanwhile, the author Heroic Spirits were entirely wiped out!

Thank you, kind horse with the gallant, entirely unhorselike voice!

Cursed Books, return to me!

You've recovered more of the Cursed Books! But...I'm afraid they don't have much magical energy either.

...Indeed.

Still, while they may not be the original Cursed Book, I can't let them run around doing whatever they please.

Thank goodness I was able to recover them. Thank you all so much for your help.

Hmm. Books checked out from the underground library, huh...

You said it's possible this original Cursed Book could be mixed in among books like that, right?

I did.

Well, I remember seeing that girl carrying an armful of them.

？！

You know, that one with the glasses who's into manga and doujin and stuff.

Oh! I know who he means now, Senpai!

？！

Let's go pay her a visit then.

What? Her room's not that far from my study, and the least I can do is show you the way.