EP 3: Moon Over the Ruined Castle

Not bad. Not bad at all. I prefer plump, delicious fruit, but this is not bad.

Excellent form. Easy to transport. Keeps for days. And more than anything, easy to eat!

Yes, yes, yes, yes! What is this? I can't stop putting them in my mouth!

Once you start, you just can't stop! I've got no choice but to eat all the dumplings in the world!

WWAAARRHH! NNEERROOO!

Heh, I see you're devouring them, too. You're not a true Roman emperor unless you love to eat.

Though I guess I'm not really an emperor. I just laid the foundations for an empire.

WAAARGGHH! FATSO!

I am not fat! I am plump!

There's a huge pile of dumplings behind them... We finally reached our main target, I guess.

What will you do? Try to talk to them?

？！

Y-yes... The tyrant Caligula is a Berserker. We won't be able to talk to him.

Caesar is a Saber, so we can communicate with him, but he's also a little TOO good at talking.

If we try to talk to him, he might just "round" up the conversation in his favor.

Yeah...He's really...round.

For now, let's approach them, Senpai.

If we attack them from the front then we're in accordance with the laws of chivalry, we won't be cowards.

？！

Stop acting like a food processor.

Those provisions belong to Chaldea, not Rome!

...? Not...Rome? Rome...isn't...a dumpling...

But great Caesar is...round... What is...the meaning...of this?

Stop comparing me to things that are round!

...Sigh. You interrupted my wonderful snack time... A mess. This is truly a mess.

But I guess you've appeared at last. You're here for these Moon Festival dumplings, right?

I managed to embezzle these from that wicked Rider...

(Senpai, did he just say "embezzle?" I'm not hearing that wrong, right?)

And I have a just reason for doing so. Well? Will you listen to me, milady?

You will, of course! Everyone listens to me! My speeches are said to be worth their weight in gold!

So allow me to tell you how I made these dumplings mine.

U-um, that's not necessary... Let's just fight. Yeah. Fight.

I'm not really interested in the reason. Please just give them back...

Ahem. I haven't introduced myself. How could I forget?

I am none other than the famous flower of Rome, the Crimson Swordsman, Red Saber!

Sorry. You're going to get sued for that.

Impossible!

Hmm, no good, huh? I thought I could pull it off.

And Caligula, you too?

Anyway, allow me to continue. Traveling this bountiful land, I encountered a delicious scent.

And then

I understand how you feel, but be quiet, Master.

...No response, huh? Sad...How very sad...

？！

Anyway, I sensed a wicked plot was involved. Thinking I should probably take action, I confiscated them.

But if they were stolen, I can understand your anger. A sense of righteousness can create stronger feelings than revenge.

I dislike fighting. It's a pain. So let's do this.

First, I will trust you, and give you back these dumplings.

You will go around and sell them at three times the price, then come back.

I'll take the money, and give you no less than double what they're worth!

Well? Your gain, not loss, and I get the satisfaction of having trusted you.

How about I give them back to you under these terms?

Calm down, Fujimaru!

I'm easily tricked, so I'm not one to talk, but you're being tricked right now!

That's right, Master.

Martha was correct. Talking to Caesar is a waste of time.

？！

Hmm. It didn't work, huh? I tried copying Cleopatra...

But, very well. Fighting it is. Caligula, prepare yourself.

KWAAAOOOHH! They're clearly in the right, but WWWRROOAAH!

Heh. Come, then! I'll give you a taste of my Crocea Mors!

GGGNNOOOAAAH!

Hmph, there's limits to what I can do as a Saber?! If only there were a class where I could win more easily.

Combat complete. We won, Master.

We'll take the dumplings back, then. Now we can return to Chaldea

Huh? It's so...heavy?! I was able to carry it before, but...

...Nom nom...nom nom...

Wait, Mash?! There's someone in the bag!

What? Wait...I'll look...inside...

Glory is given...to the victors... It is not good...to deny them...that...

No need. These belong to me.

Gnuh?!

Oops. Have I cut the bag, as well? Forgive me. I do not destroy life. (Nom nom)

That's um...Who is that? It's clearly a top-class Servant, but...

Indeed. I suppose it's Caligula's destiny to be killed through a cloth...

？！

No way...Altera?! What's she doing here?!

Why are you surprised, woman? Wherever there is civilization, I appear.

Altera? The Great King of the Western World, a warrior of the Huns, the avatar of destruction?

But how did she get here? And how exactly did she get inside that bag?!

I walked here, basically. Rayshift is civilization, so I do not use it.

You walked again?!

...Mash, Fujimaru. She looks calm, but don't underestimate that woman.

She's a natural predator, not just of us, but of you humans.

She destroys any buildings she sees, as well as some she doesn't see. She doesn't target anything of nature, but she ends up destroying it too.

She's a giant pain in the neck, who destroys everything around her just by walking.

That is a misunderstanding. I do make distinctions.

In the end, it comes to feelings. I've realized there are different types of civilization.

Nom, mmm. Basically, there are both good and bad civilizations.

Dumplings are good civilization. Moon Festival is bad civilization.

So I am taking these dumplings, nom, and destroying you for having Moon Festivals, nom.

If you get in my way, I will show no mercy.

I will use this War God's sword, I happened to find on the ground, to destroy you.

What do you mean "happened to find?" Anything you use turns into that thing!

Hmm, this is bad. I'll help you! I can't let what happened to Rome be repeated!

Master! The mysterious enemy Servant is coming! We'll fight her with everything we've got!

...Well, that was not successful. The dumplings were good, though.

OhWhen will this dreamWhen will my Noble Phantasm attain its true power

Good...The enemy Servant has vanished. Now we can finally

Whew! Finally made it through! Hello? Hello?

Are you two okay!? I just detected an incredible vortex of magical energy!

Doctor, are communications back? ...Did you activate the Rayshift?

Yeah, I detected the provisions near you, and activated the Rayshift.

You have nothing else left to do, right? Then hurry and come back to Chaldea.

The Moon Festival party will be waiting for you.

Yes...That's right. We did achieve our goals, but...

？！

That's right. I don't see her anymore. I wanted to thank her for her help...

Hmph. I'm still here. Do you have any goodbyes for me?

I can't help it. It's my class affinity. I wouldn't be more useful than that woman Archer.

No, thank you. The offer is enough. Unknown Master, I hope we meet again someday.

？！

Thank you for your help, though.

Just having you on our side was a big help.

Yes, it means one less enemy. You understand war well.

And so I shall give you one final warning.

When it comes to food, the first owner and the last owner are different.

So who is the true owner of these dumplings?

Was it the one who prepared them? No. The one who cooked them? Even less so.

Then who do they belong to? They belong to the one who is last to eat them.

You claimed ownership of the dumplings, but from "that person's" perspective, that's nothing but a joke.

Listen well. If you fail to realize this, the truth will remain forever hidden in darkness.

Caesar, what do you mean?

Hahahaha! Stay hungry, and you'll find the answer someday!

Farewell, farewell to you, girl with a bosom that's soft like a dumpling!

I-I take back my thank you! I think Rome is a bad civilization!

I was a little worried for a while there, but I'm glad to see you both safe.

We're handing out all the dumplings you recovered now. The Moon Festival party will begin soon.

Just rest a little until then.

I'd love to know what happened out there, but I'll wait.

You can tell all the staff about your adventures.

Sure, but, um...Doctor. Did you find the cause of the communications problem?

O-Oh, no. I couldn't find it. All our equipment was working normally.

But if there was a cause

It wouldn't be on Chaldea's side, but your own.

Some kind of problem should have shown up during the time you Rayshifted and when the comms came back online...

Fujimaru, any idea?

？！

Well, if it wasn't a problem, you can forget it. Good work out there!

Enjoy the rest of your time at the Moon Festival party!

...Something doesn't feel right.

I still feel like... I want some more rare dumplings.

We haven't caught the thief, and the greatest question still remains.

Who was that Orion?