Section 7: God's Love Saves Chaldea, 24-Hour Complete Coverage

Hehehe... Welcome to my chocolate factory.

You're right on time, Amazones delivery. I appreciate your punctuality.

Sorry to burst your...bag, but we're not here to deliver any packages.

Give it up, Caren! Uh, Amor! We know what you've been up to!

You've got some nerve, lying to Fujimaru's face this whole time!

Caren...

I figured there was a fifty-fifty chance that you were behind this, but all this circumstantial evidence seems to leave little room for doubt.

You were the mastermind behind this whole incident, weren't you?

...Mastermind? So you're...not from Amazones?

Then, may I ask what brings ordinary people like yourselves to this hellishAhem. Pardon me. Just a little Freudian slip.

What I meant to say was, what brings you to this remote neck of the woods? Er, facilities?

There's nothing to see here besides our little chocolate factory.

Oh, wait. Are you here for a tour? You really should have called ahead and made an appointment.

Still, it WOULD be lovely to show you our work environment.

And if you then take what you see here and spread it around Chaldea as an example of the joys of hard work, that would be even better.

Oh, but first, let me bring you some pamphlets and tea. Unless you'd prefer mineral water?

Uh... No, tea's fine...

？！

Okay, what the actual hell?

She looks suspicious as hell, but she doesn't seem dangerous at all.

That's true. This doesn't change the fact that she's appropriating Chaldea's facilities...

But it also doesn't seem like she's using them for anything besides making chocolate...

Oh, there you are, everyone. I was wondering where you went.

？！

A-another Caren!? What in the world is going on?

Hmm, where do I begin...?

Well, you all started talking about technical stuff right after we got to the Command Room...

And since it was boring and I didn't care anyway, I decided to go looking for more Bitter Shadows on my own.

Oh, don't worry about the God Bazooka fees. I kept a close tally of every shell I fired.

Anyway, after I'd had my fill of blowing up Bitters for a while, I decided to come back here, to my own room.

Now, can I ask you what you're all doing here in my Chaldea Domination Headquarters?

This is supposed to be my secret place. It's embarrassing, having you all just barge in here.

...U-um, hold on, please.

Did you just say "Chaldea Domination Headquarters"?

I did. What about it?

Welcome back, Lady Caren.

You'll be pleased to know that God Love production is going smoothly.

And that's not all.

It's drummed up so much interest thanks to our increased production that these people came by for a factory tour.

(Slaps)

Eek.

Now I see. You screwed up again, didn't you, Eros? You incompetent drone. You useless, romance-addled twit.

You led Chaldea right to us thanks to all that extra magical energy you used to increase production.

But, weren't you the one who said you wanted to increase production twentyfold starting toda

(Slaps)

Eek.

Wh-what in the world?

There's...another Caren?

Hey! Tell us what the hell's going on here!

(Slap) (Slap)

Eek. Eek.

Did you even hear me!?

That's enough, Caren.

As far as Eros is concerned, that's a reward, not a punishment.

That's not true.

Even as we speak, enduring this excruciating humiliation is helping to train my mind.

Now there's three of them... What IS going on here?

Not to mention, isn't Eros

Yup, exactly! Like I told you before...

Amor and Eros are the Roman and Greek names for the same mythological god.

So while the three Servants you're seeing there might all be from different mythologies...

...they're also all Amor.

That's right. I'm Eros.

And I'm...

Amor.

I don't recall giving you permission to introduce yourselves... But, all right.

I'm Caren C. Hortensia, the one who's been working with all of you this whole time.

The "C" stands for "Cupid."

... ...

Together, we are...

The Triple Goddess of Love!

Where the hell did that come from!?

Just kidding.

Th...

They're three times as irritating!

Well, she certainly wouldn't be the first Heroic Spirit to have different legends derived from different cultures.

So I guess, in this case...

Three different versions of her must have all manifested simultaneously as three separate gods?

No way. That can't be right.

Their names might be different, but their origins are way too similar for something like that to ever happen.

Besides, it shouldn't even be possible for so many different versions to be summoned separately like

No, wait. Hang on.

？！

Analyzing... Aha, I knew it.

Eros and Amor there aren't Servants at all!

Huh? They're not?

But, how can that be? We can see them right here.

I know.

But they're actually familiars with pseudo-Spirit Origins being made to act exactly like the original.

Caren must have used the inherent ambiguity of her god's mythology to give each of them their own name...

...and reinforce their pseudo-Spirit Origins so they'd have the same degree of existential strength as her!

That's right. They're slaves that take advantage of my Divinity's ambiguity to act as my vessels.

I was going to explain it, but you've taken care of that for me.

I suppose I should have known a brilliant, beautiful genius like yourself would figure it out eventually.

Flattery will get you nowhere. I have more questions.

For one thing, what exactly does that chocolate do?

Besides make anyone who eats it feel euphoric, I mean.

Hmm, good question. Let me see...

People have a bunch of emotions that get in the way of attaining true happiness, right?

Pride, wrath, envy, sloth, greed, gluttony, lust...

That's right. Everyone's favorite sins.

Well, God Love represses those sorts of excess emotions...

...and gives people eternal peace of mind by filling their newly freed souls with love.

Whoa, whoa, hang on. That sounds all kinds of messed up.

Does that sounds like straight up brainwashing to anyone else?

B-but, there has to be more to it!

I mean, we all saw Caren help us defeat the Bitter Shadows to protect Valentine's Day.

Oh!

Caren, did you do all this to help the exhausted Servants recuperate?

Is that what this was about?

No, getting rid of the Bitter Shadows was just aftercare.

You see, God Love had some unforeseen side effects.

？！

Aha. So the magical energy the Bitter Shadows are comprised of is actually

Yup, exactly! Like I told you before...

Amor and Eros are the Roman and Greek names for the same mythological god.

So while the three Servants you're seeing there might all be from different mythologies...

...they're also all Amor.

That's right. I'm Eros.

And I'm...

Amor.

I don't recall giving you permission to introduce yourselves... But, all right.

I'm Caren C. Hortensia, the one who's been working with all of you this whole time.

The "C" stands for "Cupid."

... ...

Together, we are...

The Triple Goddess of Love!

Where the hell did that come from!?

Just kidding.

Th...

They're three times as irritating!

Well, she certainly wouldn't be the first Heroic Spirit to have different legends derived from different cultures.

So I guess, in this case...

Three different versions of her must have all manifested simultaneously as three separate gods?

No way. That can't be right.

Their names might be different, but their origins are way too similar for something like that to ever happen.

Besides, it shouldn't even be possible for so many different versions to be summoned separately like

No, wait. Hang on.

？！

Analyzing... Aha, I knew it.

Eros and Amor there aren't Servants at all!

Huh? They're not?

But, how can that be? We can see them right here.

I know.

But they're actually familiars with pseudo-Spirit Origins being made to act exactly like the original.

Caren must have used the inherent ambiguity of her god's mythology to give each of them their own name...

...and reinforce their pseudo-Spirit Origins so they'd have the same degree of existential strength as her!

That's right. They're slaves that take advantage of my Divinity's ambiguity to act as my vessels.

I was going to explain it, but you've taken care of that for me.

I suppose I should have known a brilliant, beautiful genius like yourself would figure it out eventually.

Flattery will get you nowhere. I have more questions.

For one thing, what exactly does that chocolate do?

Besides make anyone who eats it feel euphoric, I mean.

Hmm, good question. Let me see...

People have a bunch of emotions that get in the way of attaining true happiness, right?

Pride, wrath, envy, sloth, greed, gluttony, lust...

That's right. Everyone's favorite sins.

Well, God Love represses those sorts of excess emotions...

...and gives people eternal peace of mind by filling their newly freed souls with love.

Whoa, whoa, hang on. That sounds all kinds of messed up.

Does that sounds like straight up brainwashing to anyone else?

B-but, there has to be more to it!

I mean, we all saw Caren help us defeat the Bitter Shadows to protect Valentine's Day.

Oh!

Caren, did you do all this to help the exhausted Servants recuperate?

Is that what this was about?

No, getting rid of the Bitter Shadows was just aftercare.

You see, God Love had some unforeseen side effects.

？！

Aha. So the magical energy the Bitter Shadows are comprised of is actually

Yup. It must be all the thoughts and feelings her chocolate represses leaking out from their hosts.

Then all those negative emotions turn into magical energy, and form the Bitter Shadows when it comes together.

Right. That's why you can't eliminate them with violence, and especially not with lust.

The only way is to purify them with agape before eradicating them. That is the nature of my aftercare.

Well? Now do you understand?

The only problem with that is, as long as people remain people, they'll never be rid of negative emotions completely.

Which means that the magical energy they're leaking will eventually spread through all of Chaldea...

...until the whole place is basically overrun with Bitter Shadows.

I swear, that God Love stuff should've never been brought to market!

But we make it with painstaking care.

It shouldn't have any adverse effects on anyone's health.

And our aftercare regimen is flawless.

God Love is perfectly safe, and starting today, we'll be distributing it for free!

Are you freaking kidding me!?

After all the work you made us do, you're just gonna give that crap out for free!?

Yes. And it's all thanks to you.

With all of you gathering bazooka round materials, and me using them to destroy the Bitter Shadows...

We've been able to keep Valentine's Day sweet and peaceful for everyone.

I call that a win-win, don't you?

I, uh, I see...?

Don't let her fool you, Mash.

The only reason the Bitter Shadows showed up and ruined Valentine's Day in the first place...

...is because of this harebrained scheme of hers.

Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if she'd known about the Bitter Shadows thing from the start.

Oh my... Are you saying I knowingly sold defective product to my customers!?

Well, okay, I DID, but still.

Originally, I thought I could handle any incidental messes on my own...

But all their negative thoughts and feelings turned out to be much stronger than I expected.

All I can say is, it seems Chaldea's working environment leaves a lot to be desired.

Senpai!? Fujimaru!?

Oh, are you sure you want to say that, when you still haven't yet tasted my whip for yourself?

？！

At any rate... (Sigh) I should have known you'd do something like this, Gilgamesh.

It's clear everyone here distrusts me now, and it's all thanks to you.

Why, before you said that, Cú Chulainn there trusted me so much he would have given me the shirt off his back.

The hell you say!

I haven't trusted you for one second of this mess which, lest we forget, YOU MADE!

It's true. And I said you were definitely up to something the first time you showed up, too.

Which reminds me, Amor: What is it you're really up to here, anyway?

Oh my, how terrible. I had no idea that's how you've seen me all this time.

And after I've been showering you with all this love, too.

Hmph. You mean your agape? Nope, not buying that selfless love routine.

Anything that spreads itself thin enough to reach anyone and everyone may as well not even exist at all.

...That was a pretty cutting comeback for a mongrel.

Still, mutual understanding was never one of my goals, so you're welcome to argue till you're blue in the face.

The Lord's love is given freely, while asking nothing in return.

It is the ultimate gospel that illuminates the world, blankets the whole of the earth, and brings salvation to all people.

So by mass-producing delicious and nutritious God Love...

I'll use love to bring salvation to everyone at Chaldea, and eventually, all of humanity.

That is my plan.

I'm Amor, god of love. I have a purpose to fulfill.

So if you mean to interfere with that...

？！

Ahh, how deplorable...

Ahh, how delectable... Whoops. I mean, deplorable...

Well said. Oh, but not you, Eros. I'll have to give you another hundred lashes later.

But yes, this truly is a pity. What a shame that we were evidently destined to fight after all...

Oh, what a crock! You don't look sad about this at all! You look positively eager!

But, nonetheless, if this is the trial the Lord has set before me, then the struggle is the glory.

Cú Chulainn, Gilgamesh. Mashérie. Master of Chaldea.

Defeating you will help me grow even more as a Divinity, so that's just what I'm going to do.

After that, it won't be long before you see me dominate the world with love!

Now she's even starting to sound like a final boss!

Come on, Fujimaru! Let's finish her off!

You know... I can't remember anything about it, but I'm sure I know her from somewhere.

And what's more, I can tell she was exactly like this back then, too.

So maybe it really is fate that I get to help stop you here.

By the time we're done with you, you're gonna wish you'd never even heard the word "plan"!!!

Oh no. Cú Chulainn is getting a lot more worked up than usual!

All right, guys, this is it!

I'm counting on you to defeat Caren and stop her from making or distributing any more God Love!

We'll never be able to get anything else done around here if she succeeds!

？！

Very well then. If that's how you want to play this...

...my goddess sisters and I will just have to show you our true power.

Goddesses!

Let's go!

Eeek.

Eeek.

Eeek.

？！

HA! Serves you right for all that stuff I don't remember!

You know, I think I feel just a tiny bit better now!

U-um, Caren?

Now would you be willing to shut down your factory and call off your plan?

If possible, we'd also like you to tell us how to counteract the God Love's effects...

Hehe...

You must have a very low opinion of me indeed if you think you've won already.

？！

Oh come on, give it a rest already. You lost, all right? What more do you think you can do now?

Besides, it's not like you killed anyone. You can still get off easy if you just agree to behave yourself.

No, Cú Chulainn.

You should never stop, not until you reach your goal and are satisfied.

You're the one who told me that.

Really? I actually said something that corny?

No. Not really.

What the hell is your problem!?!?

Hehe, you're wide-open. Now's our chance!

Eros and Amor, release your pseudo-Spirit Origins! Return the portions of my power I shared with you!

Goddess Fusion!!!

Now is the time to show you...

Our true goddess power!

？！

Master, look! Over there!

Now there's one Caren instead of three!?

I am the avatar of Valentine's Day.

I am the guardian of purehearted lovers.

I am the true face of the god of love.

Behold!

I am...God Caren!!!

... ...

She's the goddamn devil!!!